Okay, here goes. It is my idea that Gothic is a way of life. It's not only about the make-up, clothing or how many cd's one has, but more important, something "between your ears". It is a sort of awareness, an attitude and a way to express yourself and discover your own identity.
But how do you become a Goth?
For myself, I grew towards it. Since I was very young, around 8 or 9 years, I was already interested in so called "morbid" ideas. This developed in for example, my musical interest. When I was about 11 / 12 years old, I started to like bands such as Guns 'N Roses, Metallica and Megadeth. Of course, they are not quite Gothic, but they had songs concerning topics such as death, violence and things like that. Also, do not underestimate their artwork on cd's, with skulls, burning candles etc. Growing older, my musical taste grew with me. I was in the constant search of the more extreme, to push, stretch or break limits. I did not only listen to speed or thrash metal bands, but also bands as Cannibal Corpse, Six Feet Under, Morbid Angel and Deicide. Indeed, death metal, the most extreme music I knew at that time. Then some friend from school came up with Satanism (also an important aspect with Deicide). I started to wear pendants with inverted crosses, pentagrams pointed down and drawing satanic symbols all over. Although I did not consider myself as a true Satanist or a devil worshipper, it was nice to scare people and breaking down "holy houses". (did I mention that I was raised as a protestant christian?) Remember, I was 14 / 15 years old, and behaviour as such (to provoke) is just a natural in that period.
After a while, death metal lost its grip on me, I considered it to be a non-divers music style, with no in-depth. So I discoverd Cradle of Filth at the age of 16. Now THAT was something different! I had just discovered the world of black metal! The music was intense, well-structured and innovative, compared to death metal. Also the subjects were different. The songs concerned not only death and Satan, but also vampires, mythology and ancient tales, myths and legends. The atmosphere around black metal was totally different. The accent was not only on the music, but also on the presentation of it. Beautiful women, old castles, winter landscapes and hideous monsters roamed the cd-booklets. The musicians were different too. They wore clothing I'd never seen before and they painted their faces. By indulging myself further in to the black metal world, I discovered all sorts of symbolism and old writers. Because I was (and still am) interested in stories behind religion, myths, sages and folklore, I started to read books about the Egyptian mythology, writers such as Lord Byron, De Sade, Baudelaire and so on.
Then came the moment that I somewhat felt "imprisoned" by the black metal culture. Of course, I still like the music, but not all the idealogies. The whole "Satan" stuff became annoying to me, although some bands began to tackle other subjects, such as folklore, infamous persons or famous stories.
In my circle of friends, one had a girlfriend who regularly attended Gothic parties. So one day she asked me and some other friende to come along. At the beginning a little reluctant, we agreed. For me, the first Gothic party was an eye opener. Listening to metal the first few years of your life, and all of a sudden go to a Gothic party where the music is totally different. Of course I knew some "Atmospheric" metal bands such as Tristania, Within Temptation and My Dying Bride, this was nothing like that!
When I found out more about the Gothic underground, things became clear to me. Because this was the lifestyle I (unconsciously) had sought for. Interest for the dark, the romantic and the macabre, but also writers, poets and the mythologies and religions from all over the world. I actually grew to become a Goth, that's why for me, Gothic is mostly something from the inside. Although clothing are a very important factor in the Gothic culture, to me it is not compulsory to wear Gothic clothes all the time. It isn't even possible, unless you don't want to get a decent earning. The fact that some Goths consider themselves as Uber and others as Unter on the slight different opinion or looks, well, that's their problem, isn't it?.
To me, Gothic is a subculture and sometimes an anti-culture. It' not only about the looks, but also about the thoughts. It is a kind of "soft" culture, with men wearing make-up and skirts, looking very androgyn. All this without immediately being labelled gay. With the word soft I do not mean it in a negative way. It's just more intellectual and sensitive than the average subculture.
Gothic is a state of art, a state of clothing, a state of interest but most of all a state of mind!
And if you don't like it, or if you think that you have a better idea, let me know!
-={V}=-