Q: How do you keep a bantaji busy all day ?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: How does the bantaji confuse you ?
A: By finding the corner.
Q: How do you keep a bantaji busy all day ?
A: Write P.T.O on both sides of a paper and give it to him.
Q: How do you confuse a bantaji?
A:You don't. They're born that way.
Q: What do you do when a bantaji throws a handgrenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: How do you make a bantaji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the bantaji doing when he holds his hands over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the bantaji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why can't bantajis make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: How did the bantaji try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a bantaji tie his right shoe laces?
A: Place the left leg over the stool, and ties the right shoe laces.
Q: What does a bantaji say when you ask him if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off...
Q: What does the bantaji do after taking photocopy?
A: Check the copy for spelling mistakes.
Q: What do you call 10 bantaji standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call a bantaji in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a bantaji with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you see when you look into a bantaji eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: What does a bantaji and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: How will a banta make one A4 size paper into two?
A: Take a photocopy.
Q: bantaji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: Said the banta : Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.
BANTA 1: Have you ever read Shakespeare?
BANTA 2: No, who wrote it?
BANTA : Excuse me sir, what time is it?
MAN : It's 3:15.
BANTA : (puzzled) Everytime I ask this question, I get different answer.
Banta1: Wonder where the sun goes at night?
Banta2: It remains there only, but due to darkness we can't see it.
Fanta and Bantaji lived in a multi-storeyed building on the first floor and the eighth floor respectively. There was a lot of bad blood between them. Once Banta tried to fool Fanta by calling him for dinner. When Fanta reached the eighth floor, he saw Banta's house was locked and a board was hanging on the door, on which was written - "Kaisa ulloo banaya" Fanta thought awhile and turning the board to the other side, wrote: "Main toyahan aayaa hee nahin tha"
One night Banta was walking homewards when a thief jumped on him all of a sudden. Banta and the thief were caught in a terrific tussle. They rolled about on the ground, and Banta put up a tremendous fight, until at last the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through Banta's pockets and searched him all.
There was only a 25-paise coin he could lay his hands on. The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Banta why he had bothered to fight so hard just for a 25-paise. Was that all you wanted? Banta said, "I thought you were after the five-hundred rupees I've got in my shoe!"
Santa and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Patiyala to New Delhi. The lawyer asks if he would like to play a fun game. Santa, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me fifty rupees, and vice versa."
Again, Santa declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me Rs. 50, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you Rs. 5000."
This catches Santa's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
Santa doesn't say a word, reaches into his purse, pulls out a Rs. 50 bill, and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn." Santa asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes back with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes Santa and hands him Rs. 5000. Santa thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs Santa and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, Santa reaches into his purse, hands the lawyer Rs. 50, and goes back to sleep. And you thought Sardars were dumb.
1. Name of Candidate : _______________________
2. Present Address
(i) Name of Jail : _______________________
(ii) Cell Number : _______________________
3. Political Party : _______________________ (List ONLY the Last Five parties in the Chronological (Order)
4. Sex: [ ]
A - Male
B - Female
C - Mayawati
5. Nationality: [ ]
A - Italian
B - Indian
6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A - Defected
B - Expelled
C - Bought out
D - None of above
E - All of above
7. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A - To make money
B - To escape court trial
C - To grossly misuse power
D - To serve the public
E - I have no clue (if you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized Government Psychiatrist)
8. How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A - 1-2 yrs
B - 2-6yrs
C - 6-15yrs
D - 15+yrs
9. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want)
10. How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ] (Do not confuse with question 8)
A - 1-2 years
B - 2-6 years
C - 6-15 years
D - 15+years
11. Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A - Why not
B - Of Course
C - Definitely
D - I deny it all
E - I see a foreign hand.
12. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A - 100-500 Crores
B - 500-1000 Crores
C - Overflow... (Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)
13. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ]
A - No
B - No
C - No
D - No
14. Describe your achievements in space provided: [_________]
Thumb Impression of candidate (Not that of the person who filled the form)
Her hair was smooth, her eyes bright blue,
I knew just what she wanted me to do.
Her skin was soft, her legs so fine,
I ran my finger down her spin.
I don't know how but I tried my best,
As I placed my hand on her tender breast.
I remembered my fear, my fast beating heart,
And slowly she spread her legs apart.
And when I did it I felt no shame,
I watched in awe as the white stuff came.
At last it's finished, it's all over now.
My first time ever...Milking a cow!
Report submitted by Bantaji to his manager after completing Y2K verification task.
Dear Sir,
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission and now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:
>>> JanuarK, FebruarK, March, April, MaK, June, JulK, August,
>>> September, October, November, December
>>> As well as:
>>>SundaK, MondaK, TuesdaK, WednesdaK, ThursdaK, FridaK and SaturdaK.
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this "Y-to-K" problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and out team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00???
We are awaiting for your directions.
Yours sincerely,
Bantaji
(Y2K Project Leader)
Santa got up In the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on he middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."
Once Santa broke his leg when he threw his cigarette butt down the manhole and tried to step on it......
A bantaji sees lot of guys running on the highway and asked a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing.
The bystander : A Marathon race is going on
Banta : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Banta : Then why are the others running?!
Santa with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up them iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"
The scoundrel called back."
Then there's the one about the Bantaji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of his...
The Bantaji Doctor to his patient: "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain."
There were these two Bantaji twins who looked so incredibly alike, that sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really knowing about it.
The Bantaji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink.
Bantaji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody sees him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Bantaji replies "Saare train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She is numb from her toes down.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Skin: somewhat pale but present.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
A successful man is one who can earn more than his wife spend.
A Successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow.
What you can put off today.
Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was a huge rush, the security gaurd told Laloo, "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied, "65 Kgs." and moved on.......
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the tourist department and sked them, "Ji... Could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies, "One second, sir...", and Laloo immediately replies, "Thank You" and puts the phone down....
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And the man's companian says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU SIR?"
Laloo replies, "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling. Once he enters a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle, he poses for a photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.
GUESS THE CAPTION!!
Laloo, third from left."
Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for business development in Bihar.
The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state.
Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan."
Laloo was very surprised, "You Japanese are very inepicient." he stated.
"Give me three days and I will turn Japan into next Bihar.
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he had been working on for quite some time, Laloo proudy shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only five months to do it" Laloo brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG" the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL" Laloo replies.
"SEE THIS NOTE, IT READS "FOR 4 - 7 YRS"."
Bill Clinton decided to "teach" Laloo English so he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives in full grandeur. Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the tutuion. Inside the White House, they were locked up in a room and bill starts teaching Laloo English.
Days pass by, and weeks pass by, but there was no sign of them coming out. The whole country and its economy has come to a standstill and the press, news reporters from all over the world were waiting outside, eagerly to find out the outcome.
At last one day, the doors open and out comes Laloo - beaming his respledant white smile, looking cool and unruffled. However Bill looked totally dazed, his clothes torn, his hair completely ruffled, and had scratch marks all over his face. The shocked reporters ask Bill, "What happenned Mr. Clinton?".
Bill replies : "Ee Babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai!"
Punjab Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) 8.
What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar , the last one being Akbar the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The "Jana Gana Mana " is the National Anthem for what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of India produces the most oranges?
(a) Gujarat
(b) Russia
(c) Canada
(d) Pakistan
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?
19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?
20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for efficiency began
when
(approximately)?
(a) B.C.
(b) A.D.
(c) still waiting
*You must answer at least three questions correctly to qualify*
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I am only following the instructions - 'Answer in brief'."
There is this group of 7 Sardars who plan to go to Delhi to thank the President Dr. Zail Singh for his revolutionary policies, from which they have greatly benefited. Moreover, they are his old friends, and are longing to dine with the president. They agree that it would be appropriate to use a taxi. So they go to a taxi driver and ask him how much a ride would cost.
The driver frets a little and tells them, "Sahab! If only four of you were to be there I would charge you just the meter rate, but then since seven of you would be there, you have to give me Rs. 10/- more."
The Sardars agree and decide to take the taxi. The taxi driver takes them to Rashtrapati Bhavan. The meter shows Rs. 18/-, so the taxi driver says, "You have to pay me Rs. 28/-."
Now, the Sardars have to share the cost among themselves and so they decide to divide the total (Rs. 28/-) by the number of people, i.e. 7. This is how they do the calculation to arrive at the answer:
7 | 28 = 13 ( 7 x 1 = 7, 7 x 3 = 21 ).
7
--
21
21
--
0
--
The driver (naturally) is exceedingly happy upon receiving Rs. 13/- from each of the Sardars. He thanks them profusely and the feeling of exultant happiness is writtern on his face as he leaves them and proceeds his way.
Seeing this, the Sardars feel that they may have made a mistake. They decide to ask Zail Singh about it. After all, the fellow was the President of the nation! After all the initial formalities are completed, they ask Zail Singh to check their calculation of the taxi fare. Zail Singh ponders over the calculations and finally says, "See, I am not good at division. The process just boggles me but addition is something I am an expert at. Let us add all the amounts you guys gave to the taxi driver and check the result. This is how I do for those tax forms I get very often. The process is slow but is sure." The other sardars nod their heads (?) in appreciation.
The President writes as shown below and also explains as he writes on:
13
13
13
13
13
13
13
--
28
--
i.e. 3+3+3+3+3+3+3= 21 and 21+1+1+1+1+1+1+1=28 so this checks out. He then says, "Yes, it's correct. But I can also call my close friend and Finance man Manmohan Singh. It is always better that he rechecks it. After all, he is a Finance man, you know!" Manmohan Singh arrives, and when told of the problem, he replies that he doesn't think it is a bad deal but says, "No problem! I will verify it via mathematical computation. I'll verify it with multiplication. That is the best technique for this, you see!"
While others watch in admiration, Manmohan Singh goes on to write as shown:
13
x7
---
21
7
--
28 This checks out as well.
--
Then he says, "This is really fine. There should be no problem,
President Sahab. After all, it is correct in all the methods."
Peace reigns at the President's residence as the inhabitants and
guests remain in quite contentedness while they reminisce about their
astute abilities on solving a problem in a successful fashion.
Hindi:
He : Aye kya bolti tu?
She: Aye kya main bolun?
He : Sun
She: Suna
He : Aati kya Khandala?
She: Kya karun aakey main khandala?
He : Ghumenge, phirenge, naachenge, gayenge. aaish karenge aur kya?
Kashmiri:
H: heey, kya chaakh wannan;
S: heev, kya bhe wanneyyyy;
H: booz;
S: wanoo;
H: pakha telle khandala;
S: kya karee weeteth bhe khandala;
H: pherevhey,nachevhey,geevevhey,khevevhey,eesh karav,beyy kya??
Bengali:
H: ei ki bolis tui;
S: ei ki ar boli;
H: son;
S: sona;
H: jabi ki khandala??
S: ki kori giye khandala;
H: are, ghurbo phirbo nachbo gaibo maja korbo ar ki;
Marathi:
H: Aye kay tu mhantes?;
S: aye kay me mhanhu?
H: aik;
S: aikav;
H: yetes ka khandala?;
S: kay karu yevon me khandala?;
H: bhatkuya, phiruya, gavuya, nachuya, aish karuya. aankhen kay?
Telugu:
H: Aye,yemantaavu?
S: Aye, Yem cheppaali?
H: Vinu,
S: Cheppu;
H: Vastaava Khandala??
S: Yem Cheddam velli manam Khandala?
H: Thirugudaam, Aadudhaam, Paadudaam, Ganthulu Yeddaam Inkemi?
Punjabi:
H: a ke boldi tu;
S: a ke mein bolan;
H: sunh;
S: sunha;
H: aande aein khandala;
S: ke karain ae ke mein khandala;
Kannada:
H: Aye, Yenanti Nee?
S: Aye, Naanu Yenu Anali?
H: Kelu,
S: Helu;
H: Barteeya Khandala?
S: Yenu Maadali Naa bandu Khandala?
H: Thirugona, Kuniyona, Hadona, Aadona, Majaa Madona... Innenu?
Sindhi:
H: Aye cha ti chaven?
S: aye cha maan chavan?
H: budh;
S: buhay;
H: achiti cha khandala?
S: cha kayan achi maan khandala?
H: ghumandasi, phirandasi, gayendasi, aaish kandasi, byo cha?
Gujarati:
H: Aye su bole tu?
S: aye hun su bolu?
H: sambhad;
S: sambhdav
H: aavechey ke khandala?
S: su karu aavene khandala?
H: ghumsu, pharsu, khavsu,peevsu, aaish karsu. beeju su?
Magahi (BIHARI):
H: A ki bolahin too,
S: A kya boliyuow hum,
H: Sun
S: sunaow
H: Aaimahi ki khandala;
S: Ki kariaow aake hum khandala;
H: Gumbai Phirbai aish karbai aur ki,
English:
H: Aye what do you say?
S: Aye what should I say?
H: Listen.
S: Tell.
H: Coming kya khandala?
S: What do I do coming to khandala?
H: We'll roam, we'll sing we'll dance we'll do aish. what else?
PART-I
LAN, LAN ago, in the land of I/O-dhya, there ruled a king named DOS-rat. Three queens had he - CONSOLE-ya, CHECKSUM-itra and CIE/CAE (Kaikeyi). However, he had no line drivers - i.e. no one to perpetuate his line. In sheer desperation, he performed a great sacrifice after which his queens gave birth to four sons - RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughana.
RAM was a microchip off the old block - he had an excellent memory, he logged in quickly and semi-conducted himself in a manner fit for a king. His brothers, however, were only perpheralI ICs; everytime RAM addressed them, they said, "I-C". Once when RAM was only sixteen years old, the great sage Vish-WAN-mitra sought his help to fight some DAEMONs who persistently RAIDed his hermitage. After a brief collision, RAM routed them so easily that he came to be called DAEMON ROUTER.
RAM then proceeded to Media, where he married Pricess C+ta. C+ta's sisters, who were not her blood sisters and hence called TRAN-sisters, married RAM's ICs. This ceremony came to be known as TTL. On the way back to I/O-dhya, the entourage met Parasu-ROM (or P-ROM as he was better known), the scourge of the kshatriyas. Taking up the P-ROM challenge, RAM aimed an arrow at him; he threatened to take away P-ROM's powers of locomotion, thereby converting him to Static RAM. P-ROM humbly withdrew and the procession reached I/O-dhya.
Twelve years passed and DOS-rat decided to crown RAM as his successor. However, CIE/CAE, at the instigation of her BIOSed maid MANtharai(a real plotter), insisted that her son Bug-rat be crowned king and that RAM be banished to the FOR(;;)est for fourteen years. At this cruel and unexpected demAND, a surge passed thru DOS-rat and he CRASHED, power-less.
RAM agreed to go to FOR(;;)est and C+ta insisted to go with him. She said that at the time of her marriage, her father had advised her to follow the footsteps of her husband like a shadow, hence, she came to be called SHADOW-RAM.
LSI-man was also resolved on accompanying his brother as a SLAVE LSI. Unable to bear separation, DOS-rat died, setting the precedent that no system could function in the absence of RAM. The forest was the dwelling of SPARC-nakha, the sister of RAW-van, King of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he marry her. RAM routed her to LSI-man, who also politely declined. Perceiving C+ta to be the source code of her distress, she hastened to kill her.
At this stage LSI-man executed the Memory resident code and converted SPARC-naak to SPARC-no-naak. He TRUNCATED her nose.
Weeping, SPARC-no-naak fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by sisters plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha.
Ignoring MAR-icha's compilation warnings not to RISC SPARC-ing a war with RAM, he insisted on going ahead. Accordingly, MAR-icha transformed himself into the form of golden sTAG and drew RAM deep into the forest.
Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who, with his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this Virtual RAM cry, C+ta urged LSI-man to his brothers aid. Catching the opportunity, RAW-van delinked C+ta from her library and changed her root directory to LAN-ka by BROADCASTING her over sky.
PART-II
RAM and LSI-man started FINDing for the missing i-node, c+ta all over the forest. They made friendship with the forest admin SU-greev and his powerful co-processor ha-NEUMAN.
ha-NEUMAN was a legendary figure. He had a swollen cheek ARCHITECTURE. He was a child prodigy and came up with newer methedologies and techniques which inspired many others.In particular his RAM mantra technique became extremely popular for generations.
SU-greev agreed to help RAM but first wanted help from RAM to delete his own root node VAALI.( valli?)
SU-greev's intention was obvious. He wanted to be the only admin around & wanted to grab all the consulting jobs in the forest.
RAM fought with VALLI and surprised him using some un-documented features.VALLI cried foul and started complaining to the justice department saying that it was not a fair fight.RAM then convinced everyone using his trademark MICRO SOFT WORDs coupled with a few FREE vedic goodies.Though some of the onlookers such as ORACLE (seer)and pancha bhutas such as SUN, disagreed with RAM's micro soft touch,they all shut their mouths fearing RAM's reach among the user community.
SU-greev was happy with the outcome and ordered his programmers to use powerful 'search' techniques to find the missing c+ta. His programmers searched all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Some of them shouted 'YAA-HOO' but ended up with 'not found' messages. Several other search techniques proved useless.
ha-NEUMAN using a radically different paradigm devised a RISKy technology and used it to cross the seas at astonishing clock speeds. On the way he bumped with a few satellite signals but was able to avoid deflections due to his own high strength. As soon as ha-NEUMAN reached LAN-ka, he had to collide with its firewall called LAN-ki. The firewall made disperate attempts to stop ha-NEUMAN entering into its internal web, but the great ha-NEUMAN detected a loop hole in LAN-ki's firewall. Using micro code, he broke the security and entered LAN-ka.
After doing some local search, ha-NEUMAN found C+ta weeping under the weight of a TREE structure. ha-NEUMAN used a unique key-id (ring) to identify himself to C+ta. After decrypting the key, C+ta believed in him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK message to RAM through RING topology.
Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around C+ta tied ha-NEUMAN and tried to terminate him using pyro-techniques. But ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos among the raakshasas by SPAMMING the fire using some side effects.
Several raakshasa programmers were later called to restore the operational stability in LAN-ka. ha-NEUMAN happily escaped LAN-ka again and conveyed all the STATUS messages to RAM and SU-greev.
RAM felt happy with ha-NEUMAN's methedology of execution and embarked on a project code named EXPLORER to delete the netESCAPING RAW-wan. He even created a bridge and GATEWAY to acess LAN-ka network In the mean time, signs were apparent in LAN-ka about the imminent danger from RAM's project EXPLORER, but RAW-wan refused to budge.
Sensing disaster, his own sub-program called vibhee-SHUN, executed a 'GO TO' statement and branched out to RAM's camp. RAW-wan still insisted on taking the all powerful RAM head-on. He decided to use the boons given to him by SUN, sHIVa etc.and prepared for the battle on a remote island on LAN-ka called JAVA.
He thought that his presence in JAVA will give him victory over RAM. RAM and his entourage made small and buggy progress in the begining but the world community on the whole started watching them with awe. In the battle on JAVA island, it appeared initially that RAM had no chance.
In fact one of the RAW-wan's SUN indrajIT(son) almost killed RAM & LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra called JAVA-BEAN. It appeared for a while that the world has seen the end of RAM's MICRO SOFT touch. But ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-Xgradients from HILL GATES and concocted a potion using some herbs. His powerful HERBAL-COMPUTER aided him in making this potion which restarted RAM and LSI-man.
Appearing, reluctant RAM used the source code secrets of RAW-wan given by vibhee-SHUN and once and for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on the earth. Before that he even SCHEDULED RAW-wan to come next day when all his resources were locked up bu RAM's virus weapons He proved again that even the so called invincible RAW-wan cannot be netESCAPED from his power.
After the battle, RAM spreaded his MICRO SOFT WORKS and other user friendly programs to all users across the world and every one lived happily thereafter.
END OF DIGITAL RAMAYANA