Damaged

If you look at me from a distance you’d never suspect I had problems. I’m sure if you actually cared to go deep enough you’d find out that I do have a problem. There’s this gaping hole inside me that has been created selfishly over my feelings.

I’m at the end of my rope with him but then after that rope has burned I find myself climbing a new one all over again. Love isn’t supposed to be this way when will he stop and think about me? My every concern is him! I don’t know how we do it but we get along for a while then what’d ya know something goes wrong. I love him even when I’m fighting with him and I feel like there’s nothing that can separate us…except for him.

When we’re distant or rather when he shuts himself off from me and his friends I don’t know what he’s thinking. I bend myself almost until I hit the breaking point to reassure him that there’s nothing wrong with us. Every now and then I sneak looks into his side of the silence maybe rummage through his things. I don’t know why I have nothing to worry about right?

Fans make me out to look like the bad guy but oh if they knew what their precious little God was really like! I don’t know why people are so ignorant and jealous it’s stupid!

Every once in a while I hear things, they aren’t nice things either and I get so mad at him I could literally attack him. I find solace with the counsel of his friends and my own which is another thing that bugs him. I can’t be ripped in half for everyone to have one so I have to divide my attention but at the end of the day he’s the one I spend it all with.

Why doesn’t he realize my existence? Why doesn’t he see what he’s doing to me? My heart is tearing in half this isn’t what love is supposed to feel like. I suppose love is the sweetest poison that you always have to have just a small taste now and then but why does it leave your heart so damaged?