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"President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed."
"Do you know why they tested this bomb in Florida? It's conditions are almost identical to the ones in Iraq. Florida is full of people who don't speak English, lots of sand, warm climate, and, of course, in Florida they don't believe in fair elections either."
"CNN said that after the war Iraq will be divided into three parts: regular, premium, and unleaded."
"President Bush agreed today to allow more weapons inspectors in Iraq. As I understand he has 250,000 of them ready to go."