It is most effective to read the following out aloud in an Italian accent.


The Italian who went to Malta


One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tell her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch!

Later I go to eat at the bigga restuarant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tell her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tell him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna shit on my bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I go back to Italy.



Many regards and thanks to the anonymous Italian who left his troubles with us!



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