The Navy Wive's Alphabet
by
Mrs. Jean Ebbert
A is for Adaptable, which is supposed to be my middle name.  Also for Absent, which my husband is A lot, especially when the Anchor's Aweigh.

B is for Basic, as in Basic Allowance for Quarters and Basic Allowance for Subsistence.  (See "L")

C  is for Cost of living which is always going up and for Commissary which I therefore need more than ever.

D  is for Dependant, which is what the Navy says I am, even though everybody knows you can't survive Navy life unless you're extremly independant.

E is for Empty, which is what my wallet is at the End of Each pay period.

F  is for Fabulous Foreign ports I hope he'll bring me back Fabulous bargains From. 

G is for Goverment and Goldbraid and "Good Grief Charlie Brown, who in Washington thought that one up!"

H  is for Housing "on the economy", which so often seems (a) too small, (b) too expensive, (c) too close to base, (d) too far from base, (e) all of the above.

I  is for ID card on which my picture looks Idiotic.

J  is for Jack of all trades, which it would be Just dandy if I were one.

K  is for Kilometers and Knots, both which Kinda Konfuse me.

L is for Lavish, which is what I wish Allowances were, instead of Basic (see B)

M is for Mail from the ship, which is sometimes a Maybe thing.

N  is for mmmmm-er-um- (gosh I can't think of anything for this one.)\

O is for Orders to Outer Transvania and Other places I never heard Of.

P  is for Personal Property lost and damaged in our last Permanent Change of Station, for which I will Positively be reimbursed (Perhaps)

Q is for Qualified, which I am getting to be at practically everything.

R is for his Return from deployment, which is Really Romantic.

S is for Starboard, which Sailors on ships Say when they mean "right"

T  is for Trips To The Tailor, when his uniform mysteriously Tightens across his Tummy

U is for Unexpected changes in the ship's schedule, which I Understand are Unavoidable but which I'm often Unprepared for and so they Usually make me Upset, or even Uptight.

V  is for Volunteer work, which I know is a Very fine thing, but sometimes I get too Vound up in it.

W is for navy Wives, Who are Wonderful, Witty, Wise, Warm and Winsome.  Whoever Would argue With this is no longer Welcome aboard.

X is for navy X-change, which I am very glad.

Y  is for Yards and Yeoman and Yo boo-boo, all of which sound very nautical, don't You think?

Z  is for "Zulu", which is what the Navy calls the last letter of the alphabet, which I think is a Zany thing to do.