Why was the lemon banned from the orchestra?

    It eat too many sour notes.

    Why didn't  Sarita pay her telephone bill?

    She believed in free speech.

     Where do sheep get their hair cut?

     At the baa-ber shop.

   Why can"t you telephone the zoo?

     The lion's busy.

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? 
It was stuck to the leg of a chicken !!!

 What did the egg say to the other egg? 
Let's get cracking!

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? 
You are too young to smoke! 

What do you say to a cow that crosses in front of your car?
Mooo-ve over.

Why can't you play cards on a small boat? 
Because someone is always sitting on the deck! 

What did the blanket say to the bed? 
Don't worry, I've got you covered! 

What gets bigger the more you take away?
A hole!

Why did the rooster cross the road? 
To prove he wasn't chicken !!

What gets wet the more you dry? 
A towel !! 

Why did the chicken cross the road? 
To show the raccoon it could be done !!

What did one volcano say to the other? 
Do you lava me like I lava you? 

What has 4 wheels and flies?
garbage truck!

Why do candle trimmers work so few days a week? 
They only work on wick-ends! 

Why did the chicken cross the road? 
To get to the other side !!!!

Why was the Egyptian boy worried?
Because his daddy was mummy.

Why did the turtle cross the road? 
To get to the Shell Station!!!

What did the FAMOUS FIVE told to SECRET SEVEN?
 You are 2 much.