What Everyone Knows About the Lhomarrians
A Krugel orc to his sons:
"You think yer tough, Grikk? Well, you just wait, ‘cuz one day the Lhomarrians’ll be back from over the sea! Yep, it was quite some time ago that they came, real quick-like, too. They was comin’ over the waves in their long boats, an’ they decided to land on the shores over there.
"Was I there?!? Shaddup Urk, ya stoopid whelp!! One more smart remark like that an’ I’ll make you wish you was in the Lhomarrians’ hands! It was hundreds of years ago, not long after we came to this new world.
"Well, them Lhomarrians, they was comin’ outta their ships to get some food - must’ve been at sea for a long time. That’s one way we know they ain’t smart - no one with brains leaves dry land, it’s too dangerous out there! Goin’ by sea’s also a stoopid way to attack someone - ‘cuz you can see where they’re comin’ from a long way off, but anyways…
"So they was scroungin’ around for somethin’ to eat, an’ one of my ancestors, Hurggrik One-Hand, saw his chance an’ set up an ambush with two hundred warriors to get ‘em if they came too close. So them stoopid Lhomarrians did, an’ we whupped ‘em good - collected twelve scalps that day. ‘Course, over half of us got wiped out, an’ old Hurggrik with ‘em, but we still got what them wimpy folk call a "moral victory" - we showed ‘em who owns this land - right boys? They may have sharp little swords and good armour, but we’re orcs!
"Am I afraid of ‘em? Nah! I could kill five of ‘em, easy! With one hand tied behind my back! What? How many Lhomarrians were at the battle? I dunno, about thirty or forty, according to legend, what’s your point?"
Yorl Agmundsson, to his fellow reavers before landing at a Lhomarrian port for a night’s work:
"Get ready, men! In a few minutes we land at Sepirolos to get some booty. We’ve been lucky to make it this far already - I’m surprised their patrols haven’t found us! We should’ve been caught and chased away miles back! Their loss…
"Just a few words of wisdom from someone who’s done this before. The Lhomarrians are unlike any other people you’ll meet on this world. For one thing, they’re half decent sailors. They know how to build a good boat, and how to use it well. Some say they’ve been here for a very long time - longer than we’ve been here, I’m sure. Maybe that has something to do with it.
"Another thing. Never ever let them get you into a pitched battle! You’ll lose. They may be weak city folk, any they may not use steel or iron in their weapons, but they use their bronze to good effect! If they do surround you, surrender. That’s why they’re so weak, they have too much compassion for a fallen enemy - they won’t even enslave you, either - you’d practically be a guest! Just wait and eventually you’ll be ransomed for some trinket we relieved them of some time ago - and then you’ll be free to loot them again! Not too bright if you ask me.
"They may be weak, they may be soft, but they can fight and sail, and their towns have good plunder for the taking. For that we respect them as a people. That still doesn’t save them, though. Alright, men! Beach this craft and let’s earn our living!"
Aurius the diplomat, to a longtime friend:
"One thing you’ll learn soon enough if you ever go to Selhomarr is that the Lhomarrians are very single-minded, and slightly intolerant. They may be nice, but never, ever try to discuss theology with them. They believe in no Immortals but their own beloved "Xeron" - a faker if you ask me. They attribute everything to him, they obey his every wish, as interpreted through his priests. They are so convinced of their own closeness to this "Xeron" that they are quite condescending to others - they never mean to be cruel, mind you, they just consider all other cultures to be like children.
"Still, for all that they have a beautiful country. Paved roads go everywhere, great forests are tended by druids, and everything is so pristine. It’s too perfect, if you ask me. Don’t get me wrong, they’re nice people, but they’re so…strange - they must be hiding something, but I can’t put my finger on it. I wouldn’t trust them too much if I were you, I’m sure they want something from us.
"What really makes me suspicious is that, if they have been here as long they claim - several thousand years - why haven’t they tried to conquer us all? We should be seeing Lhomarrian cities everywhere. No, I definitely think they’re up to something, all right, the incompetent ruler and his priests. Still, you can never shake the feeling that the Lhomarrians are nice, they’re so open and friendly, they want to learn everything about you. I think the Immortals put them on that isolated continent for a reason - to protect us.
"Another thing is their political system. Their emperor, while hereditary, obtains advice from ten regional princes, who really have more power than he does, and the druids and priests. They dangle him like a puppet on strings, telling him what to think, what to say, what to do. It’s sinister, if you ask me.
"Beyond this, however, they are nice. Remember that famine three years ago? If it weren’t for the Lhomarrians sending us their surplus grain and fish, many would have starved. We must be grateful for them for that. They’ve done lots of things for us, they like us, they are interested in us - but it’s so suspicious. If they are so powerful, why don’t they take our side in any disputes? Just what are they up to? Even during my time there, I could never find out…"