>
YOU KNOW YOU ARE RUSSIAN IF:
>
>
1. Your car costs more than your college education
>
2. Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter if you
have
>
been drinking or not
>
3. Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer when no
coats
>
are worn)
>
4. Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it
raving
with
>
2000-3000 of your closest friends
>
5. Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the Global Underground Party
>
Volume 3 CD.
>
6. Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone
>
7. Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your
friends
in
>
Russian font
>
8. You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with
all
>
your friend's parents
>
9. People are always asking you if you can get them a cheap deal on
>
something... and you can
>
10. Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyad'" and ends with
>
"nahuy"
>
11. You know the new line of Nokias 3 months before they come out on
the
>
market
>
12. You can't go to the movies without having to save 20 seats for
your
late
>
friends cuz they're buying semichki
>
13. You don't mind family get together because you know the grandmas
will
be
>
making dinner
>
14. You know all the cops by their first names
>
15. You know someone who works at a dental lab
>
16. You are somehow related to most of the people you know
>
17. On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and
every
10
>
mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 3
>
18. You drive a Maxima (or, in the EXTREME worst case an Altima), and
your
>
windows are tinted to twice the legal limit
>
19. Your Maxima has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on
the
back
>
bumper
>
20. Your Maxima is a 5 speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone
driving
an
>
automatic by calling them lohs.
>
21. At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of
shmal'...
>
22. Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the
KGB
>
23. You have been kicked out of the JCC at least twice for trying to
sneak
>
in without paying.
>
24. You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua
de
Gio
>
cologne).
>
25. The waitresses at El Greco know your order even before you say
anything.
>
26. You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went
to.
>
27. You get 20 speeding, red light, and stop sign tickets, and no
record
of
>
it in Harrisburg.
>
28. Everyone you know has a ruchka of Smirnoff in their trunk
>
29. You wake up on a Saturday morning, unable to remember which one of
your
>
friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see
your
>
car standing in the parking lot (you drove home your self).
>
30. You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka.
>
31. You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas
>
32. You have to tell your parents what channel is "YOUR" HBO,Showtime,
>
Pay-Per-View is on.
>
33. You ask me each time for the link to russianvodka16/images/:)
>
34. You major in computer science or in worst case scenario
information
>
systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer).
>
35. You have a personalized license plate.
>
36. When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train
cars.
>
37. Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts
with
"So
>
what are we doing tonight?"
>
38. Most of your clothes are fake brand names but you "just can't tell
them
>
apart from the real ones."
>
39. If your fake id is the International Driving License who you got
through
>
your friend who goes to Kingsborough.
>
40. You don't do anything during coop (you are comp sci major).
>
41. You used to work out, but you don't anymore (you just don't have
enough
>
time).
>
42. Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee in El Greco's counts as
an
>
exercise.
>
43. You know the exact time it takes to get from UA Theater to El
Greco's
>
(6min. 44 seconds)
>
44. Have a fake Movado because you can't afford a real Rolex.
>
45. Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make
it
>
past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so
long.
>
46. Some English words like "use, shop, apply, and etc" permanently
become
a
>
part of your conversational speech and they start conjugating
according
to
> Russian language rules.
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