Deathrow
[Xbox]

For those of you unfamiliar with this title, it is a futuristic sports game. I think of it as harsh blitzball (from Final Fantasy X) but out of water. The over all concept is to either dismantle your opponent by kicking, punching, tackling, or throwing them or take the much harder route and try throwing an exploding disc through a fairly large hoop on a pole. There are two of these hoops, set up much like football with one on each end of the stadium floor.

There is background and story for each team, which there are 18 of. Here’s the catch, you can only play through the season mode as the 4 teams the game begins with. The unlockable ones are only usable in the exhibition mode. That’s trash, I know. There are actually a ton of unlockables and upgrades, but the game doesn’t give the player anywhere to apply them rendering is totally useless. There are quite a few stages, numbering around 30, and all are pretty different and offer some options for players to strategize with. Some will be flat and some will have multiple levels which can be navigated by running or jumping on a giant fan that blows you up top. The premise is still the same though: get to their goal or kick their asses. The A.I. is very predictable but hard to deal with none-the-less. Most of my games end with my opponents sprawled out all over the arena. That's right, if all four members of the opposing team get dropped before the four rounds are up, the player wins by K.O.

The meat of Deathrow is in its 2 Player co-op. I played with my friends through many a seasons, which last about 30 minutes each. If you do the math, you can wipe this game out within 2 hours. The season mode is pretty entertaining though. You choose one of the four default teams: Convicts, Blitzers, Seacats, or Protectors. Each has different stats which can be upgraded throughout the season with money that you win from games. That’s the depth of it. Seasons never vary as your team winnings will be occasionally lost because of a hacker or fraud, but money doesn’t matter after your characters have all been upgraded to the max.

The controls are pretty shitty. They get the job done, but it always feels awkward because the computer is just able to do everything a tid bit better than you. So even if you master the art of controlling Deathrow, you'll still get pounded. The sound is another high point. They spit out crazy taunts and very often you’ll hear someone say "F*ck you!" or "Die you worthless sack of shit!" Its pretty entertaining. The X-Box also allows for a customizable in-game soundtrack which adds a lot of emotion to the game. I love beating some ones ass to American Head Charge. Never gets old. The graphics are supposedly very detailed. Ubisoft claimed that each character was modeled with 55 pivot points, but the players still move like stick men. To me everything just looks bland. The arenas are small, so there’s obviously not a lot to look at.

What it comes down to with this one is how long you can take beating the crap out of amazingly hard and predictable A.I. If you and a buddy can do like me and my friend, and just sit and pound the crap out of each other, more than likely you’ll have yourself a ball with Deathrow. Its cheap, and its in abundance at used game retailers. Rent it or pick it up for 10 bucks.

6/10

---Frayed