Namaste,

Along the tortuous paths of human lives, there lie ruts, even chasms, checking our procession, but, like a pawn to a king, they can be surmounted; and surmont these challenges we will-join me, my fellow students, my peers: My Americans, my french, and my Canadians alike; join me. and together we will see the cessation of tyranny, the surcease of inequality, the end of capitalism, and, to altitudinous heights, the rise of the working class. A great man by the name of Ralph Nader said, "One of the goals of this campagin is to free voters from fear so they can vote their conscience, their interests and their dreams." That is the goal of this campaign as well. Unlike one of the other candidates, I will feed you no ill-will should you vote against me, but trust in me as I trust in you, and you will realize that your best interest will be upheld only by me, only by checking on that ballot the little blank line next to the name James.

Let me now welcome you to the dream I have for this school. "I have a dream," said Martin Luther King, Jr, I too have a dream. I promise you, if I win, I will slash your taxes in half, unless you're rich. One day, we will be united as a happy family, the same happy family of which you remember when you recall the Tanners on Full House and The Brady Bunch. Nary a citizen will throw invidious slander about, and every spoken word will be meant in peace, for the prosperity of the whole. A societal gestalt may be agglomerated under my regime.

Tell me, how many times have you been insulted, persecuted, or otherwise oppressed due to your religious beliefs? To me, and to all the world outside control of the totalitarian dynasty headed by that wicked oligarch George W. Bush, all religions should be equal. Cheney and Bush play craps every night; they gamble on the lives of Muslims and pray only that more should die tomorrow. All this, and yet they put American kids on the ground in Iraq, marching our soldiers to death in an unhallowed crusade to eradicate Islam. I pray to lord Siva that this insane war will end as soon as possible; it behooves our country and the world to leave Iraq and return to them their freedom.

“All men recognize the right of revolution,” said Thoreau; “that is, the rights to refuse alligiance to, and to resist, the government, when its tyranny or its inefficiency are great and unendurable.” Another four years with George Bush is insufferable; another school year without me cannot be endured either.

I have in store for the year to come the best plan in the history of this small town. I know what this school needs. And you say I haven’t a clue? I have. I bring in tow a war of facts, not guns; of peace, not odius violence. “Today the man of knowledge might well fell like God become animal,” said Nietzsche. The beauracrats court ignorance in their supporters, and intelligence is pushed aside, beaten with the tyranic whips of those capitalist pigs, and tossed in the gutter like dead kittens.

I once wrote that McCarthy bathed in the blood of freedom. George Bush keeps by his bedside a cask of freedom’s blood and sips it as he used to sip alcohol, that is, he chugs gallons each night, all the while gambling with lives he posited halfway around the world. I come to you without avarice for freedom’s singular pelf, the lifeblood of its believers.

The raven told Edgar Allan Poe that there is no balm in Gilead, but together we can find the balm and bring the capitalists to their knees. We must! To quote Karl Marx, “The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win.” We must win! Should we fail, it would behoove us to beseech the raven, as did Poe, for a kind nepenthe. I would behoove us, yes, but to fall as easily as Socrates to hemlock would due no justice to the Marxist cause—they may feed us their hemlock, but, like Seneca, we will persevere; they may try to bleed us dead, but, like Seneca, we will persevere; they may drown us in a vapor bath, but we will persevere. If we are to fail in this revolution, they may turn our cross towards the ground, nail our bodies to Saint Peter’s crucifix, but we will die as martyrs. Socrates, the original satyr-faced advocate of free thought, would aver our cause noble, and honor ranks highest among virtues.

My name is James. Vote James and every day will be Independence Day, every hour will be yours, and every minute—every second—will be imbued with the blood of freedom.