I think I need to stop drinking. I know that sounds really dumb coming from someone like me, but the fact of the matter is, I'm always drunk or hungover or wanting to drink or something. It's like I do it just so I don't have to think of anything else to do. I say there's nothing TO do, but there must be, because there are people that live here that don't drink or do drugs and they're out doing things all the time. I just have to figure out what those things are I guess. It's been a long time since I've had to try and think of something to do. I used to.......um.......I don't really remember. I guess I used to sit at my house and do nothing. Write, draw, think, talk. I used to ride a bike. Rollerblade. Things. I don't know, I guess I just thought that alcohol and drugs were a part of growing up, like it was just something that you started doing when you got to a certain age because you were considered an adult then.
My stomach is killing me. I got drunk last night. Nikki bought a half gallon and we finished it off. I dyed my hair almost not quite black. I wish I had a job. Hey, that's another thing that people do. They work. It wasn't so long ago that I had a job myself. It was a horrible, not fun at all kind of job, but it was a job and I got paid to do it.
Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I don't know what I want to be for halloween, and also that there are much more important things to worry about and I don't care.
I guess I'll just write in here again tomorrow.
But anyway, I still don't know what the hell I'm gonna wear to school tomorrow. It is halloween, and there is a halloween party. I heard yesterday though that the kids at the elementary school in calumet won't have to worry about that. They're only letting them have a 45 minute party and they're not allowed to wear costumes. That is the STUPIDEST thing I have ever heard in my life. Kids look forward to that all year long, and they've been having costume parties ever since my MOM was a little kid. She told me that this morning. I feel really bad for those little kids. It's a holiday, you know? And they're only allowed to have a 45 minute party with NO costumes? Jeezus.
Me and a bunch of ppl are going to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre today. I already saw it once but that's okay. I also was wanting to go to northwoods at lunch today to look for something resembling a costume. But I don't think that's gonna happen cause I'm also giving Katie gas money. Not that I'm pissed about that cause she gives me rides to school like every day. But I just wish I could do all the stuff I wanted to do today instead of just some of it.
Anyway, I'm rambling now. I guess I'll sign off for today and write tomorrow. HALLOWEEN!!!