By Marilynn Williams
As I sit here, I'm wearing a demi cup lace and silk push-up bra that barely contains my now truly abundant breasts as they strain against my ruffled white silk blouse. I'm wearing a snug fitting short gray skirt, accented with gray silk nylons, and my gray heels. I have long fingernails painted glowing red, shoulder length auburn hair brushed out so I can show it off. A gorgeous wedding and engagement ring set on my left hand, expensive jewelry everywhere. To see how flawlessly made up my face is you'd think I just came home from posing as the cover girl for a woman's magazine. I guess you could say I'm pretty, but I was born and raised as a male! I now have a perfect and completely functioning female body that my husband loves to ravish, but even knowing, and accepting that this is the real me, for the rest of my life, I still feel like I'm living a dream that will end when I wake up. Let me start at the beginning and try to explain how this all happened.
I've been in the closet, a crossdresser since I was 11, afraid someone would find out, but I did manage to dress as a girl for Halloween a few times, which was the extent of my adventures in public. I never had the courage to tell anyone the real reason why I wanted to be dressed as a girl. As time went by, I met and married my wife. I did convince my wife to let me dress me up for Halloween a few times, but I had had trouble walking in heels so she had to coach me a little. The fact that I always had traditionally male jobs with an image to maintain and she was tickled to see me struggling in those heels. As the night wore on and I became comfortable, she began to watch me closely. Up to this point I was afraid our marriage would end if I ever told her about my desire to dress as a woman. Then she told me that I looked very comfortable dressed as a woman, and I broke down and finally admitted to her that this was a life long fascination of mine. I told her I even had a female name I picked for myself, Passion, which is a bit offbeat and made her giggle, but I liked it. After some discussion, she said she could live with my dressing up, if I was open with her, and I said I would be. Her biggest concern of course was our reputation. Some of my jobs were very visible to the general public, and I was well known by too many people to take the chance of being recognized, especially if I ever dared to venture out in public dressed as a woman, except for events like this one.
Long before I met my wife, from the time I was old enough to hold and aim a camera, I have had a love of photography and even had a small sideline business doing commercial and wedding photography. My wife enjoyed the extra income the photography generated so she didn't complain too much when I had to spend time away from her shooting assignments. Short of shooting X rated porno stuff, I accepted just about any kind of photography job that was offered to me. My wife became used to me taking photos of strange things in strange places.
Circumstances changed, and we decided to move to Florida to be closer to family, which was scattered around the surrounding three states. Also by this time, I had been connected to the Internet for a few years and finally discovered that there were lots of other men around the world who enjoyed crossdressing as much as I did, and no longer felt like I was the only one. I found that most of the men I met in the chat rooms, were also married and had professional careers, which was heartening. After moving, I was totally anonymous to our neighbors, so I wanted to be a little more courageous about being seen in public, but I needed some help to appear as feminine and pretty as I had always dreamed of. My wife agreed to let me go out once in a while, and she even helped me a few times. Just being out in public was a real thrill for me, and each time we went out she saw that I was getting better. Then it happened. We were at home, and I was ready to change clothes when she came in with that look in her eye. I recognized it, smiled and started to unbutton my blouse, but she said no, and proceeded to undress me herself! When I was down to bra and panties she dragged me to bed, and it was wonderful. I had never seen her this way before, but I wasn't complaining!