Jimbo, boy, you're a crock of shit
You're a boozed, selfish thug
Why don't you give your mouth a go?
And in the other hole, put a plug.

By Christ you've gone a long, long way
With a schoolboy's talent with words
One crappy bit of symbolism
And you're adored by an army of turds

You're a selfish, rude, arrogant prick
You're basically pretty stupid
Your mysticism is a lump of shit
And so are all the girls you've rooted

So don't talk about being sad and lonely
Or fucking misunderstood
Because underneath that self-pitying phoney
Is a selfish, brutal hood

I support the police who took you off stage (2)
I support the fact you bled
I support the cops who carried you off
I support the fact you're dead (3)

I think that you're a troubled guy
And I think that is nothing new
I think your fans are a bunch of turds
Almost as immature as you

And, when I'm in my supermarket
And some prick pushes in front of my trolley
I'll be reminded of your stinking bravado
And I'll ask the cunt to say sorry

Your fans would exuse every rudeness
Just because it comes from you
You'd tell them to go drop dead
And they would say, "How True, how true, how true"

You need a nine to five job Jimbo
You need to get to Flinder's Street by train (4)
Go find yourself a regular income
Then you can write a song about pain

Try and save for the kiddies' school fees
Take some care when you drive a car
Put your God damn rubbish in a bin
You fucking great rock superstar

You have spawned a host of cocksure shits
That are nearly always filthy rich
Who think that because they're a little bit like 'Ol' Jimbo'
They can act like stinking pricks

An army of brainless arty youth
They look down on us common plods
But they barrack for good old Morrison
Like the fucking Richmond Cheer Squad (5)

So when you're listening to Morrison Hotel (6)
And Jimbo - he's in top form
Whining about this harsh, cruel world
And the fact he was ever born

Remember his fans are rapt
And brooding over their suffering lives
And go to discuss it at Thrash and Treasure (7)
(At least, if daddy will drive

Jimbo - King of the Private School Kids
The girls from PLC (8)
Who identify with his tortured soul
Because they have just dropped boy friend number three

Who was Kent, from Xavier College (9)
In HSC (10) he got an A for English
But between Jimbo and William Blake (11)
He hasn't got the fucking brains to distinguish

Jimbo - father of a generation of private school depression idols
From Nick Cave (12) on,
They don't kill themselves
Just tell us why they're suicidal

He has made self pity legitimate
It means we'll have to face
One after another, artists with integrity
Like REO Speedwagon (13).

Sorry, I meant "Hugo Race" (14).

Well, up your arse Jimbo, old man
Up your fucking hole
You are a prick, pure and simple
It's about time you were told

And up your arse to all your fans
Up your arse to your tortured artistic hell
And while we're fucking at it
Up your arse to Morrissey (15) as well

Up your arse to Robert Smith (16)
Up your arse to Albert Camus (17)
All those, "I'm suffering for my art" types
Jimbo, I blame them all on you

And every one who handles life's pain
With a token of mature self examination
It's time they told these ponces
To stick it up their bogus self infatuation

But if you're after true self indulgence
Then the conclusion is still not final
Because if you thought Jim Morrison was a wanker
Well Christ, you just bought this fucking bit of vinyl

1. The title is a play on The Doors' 1970 album, Morrison Hotel. Jim Morrison (1943 - 1971) was lead singer of The Doors. Note that on the CD cover his name is spelled "Morisson", but the TISM Guide to Little Aesthetics gets it right.
2. Before a December show in New Haven (Eastcost of USA) in 1967, Jim Morrison was maced by a police officer after Morrison insulted him backstage; the show went on as planned, but when Jim Morrison began telling the audience about the incident, the police jumped on stage and arrested him. This was the first time that a rockstar had been arrested on stage. In 1969 at a Miami concert Jim exposed his genitals on stage and was arrested again after that show.
3. Jim Morrison died in Paris on the 3 July 1971 under mysterious circumstances. The official finding was a heart attack, but no autopsy was performed. In the hours before his death he had been vomiting up blood. He was found dead in the bathtub with a a smile playing on his lips and a trickle of clotted blood running from his nose to his upper lip. One common theory has him snorting heroin several times throughout the day before his death.
4. Flinders Street Station is the major train station in Melboure servicing the Central Business District.
5. The Richmond Cheer Squad have their own web site. Richmond is an Australian Football League (AFL) team.
6. See Note 1.
7. Thrash and Treasure was a small, 'alternative' night club in inner-Melbourne frequented by a young, affluent and fashion-conscious clientele.
8. The Presbyterian Ladies' College (PLC) is an exclusive secondary school in Melbourne.
9. Xavier College is the most exclusive Roman Catholic (Jesuit) boys' school in Melbourne.
10. HSC, or Higher School Certificate, was the Victorian Year 12 secondary school qualification. It has now been replaced by the Victorian Certificate of Education (VCE).
11. William Blake (1757 - 1827) was an English painter, engraver and poet. His poems are commonly studied in Year 12 English Literature in Victorian schools. The Doors took their name from a line in Blake's poem, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell: "If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite".
12. Nick Cave is a Melbourne singer/songwriter who fronted the seminal and influential band, The Birthday Party (renamed from The Boys Next Door) from 1975 - 1983. Since then he has led Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Birthday Party lyrics are also referred to in Existentialtism and Give Up For Australia
13. REO Speedwagon took their name from the Ransom Eli Olds flatbed truck, first built in the early 1900s. It was very high-speed and heavy-duty for its day, and was considered a milestone in the history of transportation. It was sometimes outfitted as a fire engine. This fact alone is more interesting than any of their musical "achievements".
14. Hugo Race is a Melbourne musician who fronted Plays With Marionettes (1980 - 1984), The Wreckery (1984 - 1989) and the True Spirit (1987, 1989 - ). He is associated with Nick Cave (see Note 12) and played in an early line up of The Bad Seeds (1984).
15. Steven Patrick Morrissey (1959 - ) was the lead singer and lyricist of The Smiths from 1982 - 1987 and is now a solo artist.
16. Robert Smith (1959 - ) is the singer and songwriter of The Cure. Interestingly, Robert Smith is a famous enemy of Morrissey (see Note 15). Their long-running and public feud includes some classic quotes from both sides, the most immortal being Robert's "If Morrissey says don't eat meat, then I'll eat meat, because I hate Morrissey".
17. Albert Camus (1913 - 1960) was a member of the existentialist movement. He is another favourite target of TISM being mentioned in Existentialtism and The Mystery Of The Artist Explained.