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Etiquette was regarded common in the Victorian era and people from all classes practiced it. Etiquette basically is a set of rules defining how we should act socially. In the Victorian period there was etiquette on almost every aspect of life. There were rules on how women should act towards men and vice versa and there was a code of conduct for calling cards for instance. Though etiquette forced people to act in a certain way it was also regarded liberating. People knew how to act and what to expect from one and other. During the Victorian age etiquette was to be learned from experience and from books that were imported world wide.
The most important thing that etiquette was used for was for defining the relationship between a man and a woman. Men were expected to be extremely polite towards ladies. They had to offer them their hand while parading on the street and they had to raise their hat whenever they saw a woman. Men were not allowed to speak when someone was reading and they couldn't read when someone was speaking. For women it was considered improper to put herself out there. Hard laughter and crude jokes were out of the question for her as well as improper dressing or eating before everyone was seated to the table. Women were socially obligated to call on people. During these ocasions it was bon ton to leave a calling card. The calling card had a special social meaning. Altogether the calling card was a wonderful gesture to let others know that they were being considered in warm regards.
When women and men met at social gatherings such as balls there was a special etiquette for those occasions. People were never allowed to work on their hair or clothes whilst being at a ball. This was considered highly improper and the same went for not greeting the host of the gathering. There were also rules on dancing and being invited for a dance. A women should always have an easy, becoming and graceful movement while engaged in a quadrille or promenadedance because it was more pleasing to the gentleman. A lady should also never engage herself for more than the following set, unless by the consent of the gentleman who accompanied her. It wass very impolite and insulting in either lady or gentleman while dancing in quadrille, to mar the pleasure of others by galloping around or inside the next set. If a gentleman, without proper introduction, should ask a lady with whom he was not acquainted to dance or promenade, the lady should positively refuse cause it was not allowed to be familiar with people you do not know.
Many couples met eachother at a ball and etiquette defined the ongoing of their relationship from that point on. The relationship progressed in stages. The first step was for the couple to speak to each other. Only after a mutual attraction was confirmed could they begin to keep company with each other. After this point the couple could begin to be seen together, but only in supervised public situations only. If, after an appropriate amount of time, the young man wished to propose marriage, he asked the lady first. If she accepted, he then went to her parents for permission. A lady did not have to accept a marriage proposal at first, she was allowed time to consider the proposal before accepting or declining.
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