callingcards

Calling cards were mass-produced in the 1850's when printers often had calligraphers on their staff to pen the customer's name on lavishly colored printed cards. But it wasn't until after the Civil War in 1865 that calling cards became a highly ritualized social grace where both men and women used the cards at all manner of social occasions. Floral designs were used by both men and women and cards were available in rectangle as well as oval.

American ladies pursued their card leaving rounds according to the rules that finally appeared in etiquette books from the 1880's and on. Featured in most Victorian homes in the entry hall was always a table where parcels could be left and more importantly, where a silver tray or porcelian receptacle sat for receiving calling cards. The height of the card pile might be interpreted as a clue to the social standing of the hostess. Harper's Bazaar reported in the 1890's that "cards were dropped by the thousand."

Men kept their cards usually in their vest pockets, while women carried theirs in elegant cases sometimes made of silk or leather, ivory, tortoise shell or silver.

Etiquette dictated that a married woman would leave her card for the lady of the house along with her husband's card, even if he wasn't with her. She also left a card for each of her adult daughters.

Leaving cards at important homes also served as a means of social advancement. Most afternoon social life was spent making calls, allowing 30 minutes per visit, and leaving a card at each house. The woman of the house, the hostess, was usually in afternoon dress...always choice and delightful. Her guests might find her busy with some elegant lace or wool-work, writing letters, or sketching.

Like the fan, the calling cards carried meaningful messages. If a young man should present a young lady with his card asking if he might escort her home, she could either rest her fan on her right cheek, meaning "yes" or she could return the card with the appropriate corner turned up indicating yes or no. Or she could hand her card to the chap she most wanted to accompany her.

A vistor folded down the upper right hand corner if she came in person.
A folded upper left corner indicated she stopped to leave her congratulations.
A folded lower right corner said goodbye.
A folded lower left corner offered condolences.

By the turn of the century the excitement of calling cards had faded. With a little searching one may still find calling cards in antique shops.

Basics for Calling Cards

What exactly is a calling card? These were cards left after a person's visit to another's house. They were left after the end of the call or, if no call took place,
a card would be left to inform the person that they had had a vistor in their abscense. They were also given out when a person was leaving town.

These calls that usually preceeded the card were called "morning calls". These calls were rarely in the morning but usually in the afternoon or early evening. These calls lasted no more than fifteen minutes and one should not outstay one's welcome. A lady could not even remove her hat or gloves for so short a visit.

When the lady leaves, she then leaves on of her cards or two of her husband's, if she is married. Not only would the card communicate a visit and who had made it, the way it was given also
signified something:

Lower right hand turned down -
The woman extended a goodbye

Upper left hand turned down -
Congratulations

Lower left hand turned down -
Condolences were given.

Entire left side -
It was understood that she had called on all the women of the family

Upper right hand -
The woman had called in person.

When you came to visit, you also inquired if the lady was "at home". This allowed the lady to peer from her second-story room window, see who it was and then decide if she wanted to
be "at home" or not.

A call should be returned within ten days, to keep the relationship amiable. One should not fancy that their society is unwanted because the call is not promptly returned. When the person does return the call, it is duty to welcome him or her
cordially and accept any excuses that they make for their abscence and allude no more to it.

The most important call was the "first call", made always by the social superior, for it was rude for newcomers to call. They must wait to be recognized. After a large event, such as a wedding, ball or luncheon, one should pay a call if they were invitied, whether they accepted or not.

There are a few rules on what to do and not to do on a call:

1.Do not stare around the room.
2.Do not take a dog or small child.
3.Do not linger at the dinner hour.
4.Do not lay aside the hat or gloves at a formal call.
5.Do not fidget with your parasol.
6.Do not make a call of ceremony on a wet day.
7.Do not turn your back to one seated near you.
8.Do not touch the piano, unless invitied to do so.
9.Do not handle ornaments or furniture in the room.
10.Do not open or shut doors or windows or alter the
arrangement of the room.
11.Do not, if a lady, call upon a gentleman, except officially or professionally, unless he may be confirmed invalid.