The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne:

"The Great Cookie Battle"

(Original Posts on the Sci-Fi Channel BB)

OT: Cookies from Sci Fi
Date: 4/30/2001
From: gaelle17

I have my browser set to warn me before accepting cookies. Starting today, I've been getting a cookie warning every time I click on another page of this board. The cookies seem to have something to do with the ads on the top of the page. Very annoying.

Message to the Great Uncaring Void That Is Sci Fi:

If you were more kindly disposed toward my favorite show, I would be more kindly disposed toward you and your advertisers. Things being as they are, I am ignoring the ads ... and you know where you can stick your cookies.

-- Gaelle

Ouch, Gaelle ...
Date: 4/30/2001
From: Lorrellai

And now I have *this* image in my head, thank you so VERY much!


Victorian Valkyries line the ground outside of the Great Wall of Sci-Fi, through which no email, commentary, or request have ever managed to break. They stand with a glint in their eyes, and determination. A number of them stand behind slingshot-style catapults, while more stand ready near bins filled with their ammunition. Gaelle stands at the front of the group, a megaphone in one hand. She turns to her compatriots, her other arm raised in preparation, and starts the count-down.

"READY!"

"AIM!"

"FIRE!"

Her arm swings down sharply and, on cue and amazingly synchronized, the Victorians womanning the catapults release the triggers. A few members of the SFC Programming Dept, dressed amazingly like Nikolai's peroxide soldiers, are standing atop the Wall and have a moment to get a wide-eyed look of horror as the catapults release. They scream in unison and hurry for cover as thousands of cookies come screaming through the air.

Within the compound, each cookie knocks over an advertisement, instantly exploding their contracts. Millions of chocolate chips lie scattered on the ground around their targets, looking amazingly smug -- for chocolate chips.

One programmer risks a peek over the wall as the Valkyries load up a second salvo, and wails in horror. "No! Not Oatmeal-Raisin! Anything but that!" He turns to his comrades and yells, "For God's sake, men, hurry!! Release their d*mned show from the One Ack-Emma Dungeon!!"

A panicked programmer asks, "Should we surrender?"

The lead programmer stares at his comrade. "Are you insane!? After jerking these people around, giving their show that timeslot, and not informing them of the change --" he grabs the other programmer's lapel "-- you think they're gonna listen to something like the Geneva Convention!?!"

"You mean ---"

"They'll tear us apart!"

There's a pause in the salvo while, down below, the portcullis of the Wall raises and our intrepid explorers stumble out into the sunshine of a REAL timeslot. Representatives of various contingents -- and their local syndication channels -- quickly greet them and hurry them off to get them cleaned up. Gaelle and the other Valkyries stare up at the Wall, clearly not satisfied. As the guy said, they're ... ticked. The Valkyries exhange looks, then smile wolfishly as they grab up their frying pans. Gaelle looks at her compatriots and grins. "Let's make sure they don't forget us, eh, girls?"


<g>

Well, we can dream, anyway. ;)

Grace

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