"Big Trouble" by Dave Barry http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0399145672/entertainmentsit
Whether he's discussing the "Star Wars" multimegasaga, the bird that attacked male supermodel Fabio, or his decision to run for president "manoe a manoe" against Dan Quayle, Dave Barry earns big bucks for being funny in his syndicated Miami Herald column. So why has he decided to risk his reputation for sanity (such as it is) and plunge naked into the mud-wrestling pit of fiction writing with the debut of his new novel, "Big Trouble"? Probably so he can make writers like Stephen King say, "I laughed so hard I fell out of a chair" (we are not making this up), but if you don't think that's the reason, you can ask Dave yourself at Amazon.com's live chat with him on September 9. We've included a sample below from "Big Trouble," which will be released on September 10. You can find "Big Trouble" at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0399145672/entertainmentsit ****** From "Big Trouble," Chapter 1 Puggy had held down his job at the Jolly Jackal Bar and Grill, which did not have a grill, for almost three weeks. For Puggy, this was a personal employment record. In fact, after a career as a semiprofessional vagrant, he was seriously thinking about settling in Miami, putting down roots, maybe even finding an indoor place to sleep. Although he really liked his tree. Puggy liked everything about Miami. He liked that it was warm. He liked that most of the police seemed tolerant of people like him--people who, merely by existing, tended to violate laws that solid citizens never even thought about, like how long you were allowed to sit in a certain place without buying something. The attitude of most of the police down here seemed to be, hey, you can sit all you want; we're just glad you're not shooting. Puggy also liked the way, in Miami, you were always hearing people talking Spanish. This made Puggy feel like he was living in a foreign country, which was his one ambition, although the only time he had ever actually been abroad was four years ago, when, after a long and confusing weekend that began in Buffalo, he was briefly detained on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls for urinating in the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum. The funny thing was, Puggy had not been trying to get to Miami in particular. He had left a homeless shelter in Cleveland and started hitchhiking in the general direction of south, looking for a warm place to stay the winter; the trucker who picked him up happened to be heading for the Port of Miami, right downtown. As good fortune had it, Puggy arrived on election day. He'd been on the street for less than an hour when a white van pulled up next to him. The driver, an older man, said something in Spanish and showed him a ten-dollar bill. Puggy, assuming the man wanted a b--- job, said "Not interested." The man immediately switched to English and explained that all Puggy had to do, for the ten, was vote. "I'm not from here," said Puggy. "No problem," said the man. So Puggy got into the van. En route to the polling place, the older man picked up seven other voters, all men, some quite aromatic. At the polling place, they all walked right inside and the man told them what to do. The poll workers did not seem to have any problem with this. When it was Puggy's turn to vote, he gave his name, per instructions, as Albert Green, which he spelled "Allbert Gren." The real Albert Green was a person who had died in 1991 but still voted often in Miami. Puggy cast Mr. Green's ballot for a mayoral candidate named Carlos somebody, then went outside and collected his ten, which looked like a million dollars in his hand. ****** From "Big Trouble," by Dave Barry (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1999). Copyright 1999 by Dave Barry. Used by permission. "Big Trouble" by Dave Barry http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0399145672/entertainmentsit
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