PAT BUCHANAN:
  To steal a job from decent, hardworking Americans.

 LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken
  crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

  THE BIBLE:
 And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
  "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
  there was much rejoicing.

 COLONEL SANDERS:
 I missed one?

  L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT:
  Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

  RICHARD M. NIXON:
  The chicken did not cross the road.
 I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
 I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.

  DR. SEUSS:
  Did the chicken cross the road?
  Did he cross it with a toad?
 Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
  but why it crossed, I've not been told!

  ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
  To die. In the rain.

  MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
 I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
 without having their motives called into question.

  GRANDPA:
  In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
  If someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, that was
 good enough for us.

 ARISTOTLE:
  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

  KARL MARX:
  It was a historical inevitability.

 SADDAM HUSSAIN:
 This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we
  were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

 RONALD REAGAN:
  What chicken?

  CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
  To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

  FOX MULDER:
  You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
  How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

  FREUD:
  The fact that you are at all concerned that the
  chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

  BILL GATES:
  I have just released Chicken 98, which will not only cross roads,
  but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
  check book, and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating
  system.

  EINSTEIN:
  Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
  the chicken?

  BILL CLINTON:
  I DID NOT cross the road with THAT chicken.