Fidelity
Three men die and go to heaven. At the gate St. Peter tells
them, "Before you go into heaven, we are going to give you
each a vehicle
with which to get around. The way we determine what type of
vehicle you
will get is by how faithful you were to your wives. Now," he
says,
turning to the first man, "were you true to your wife?"
"Yes, I was, St. Peter," says the first man. "I
never strayed. From the
day I married her to the day I died, I slept with no woman other
than my
wife. I loved her very deeply."
"As reward for your complete fidelity," says St. Peter,
"I now give you
these keys to a beautiful Rolls-Royce"
The man happily accepts the keys, and St. Peter turns to the
second man.
"Sir," he says, "were you faithful to your
wife?"
"Well, St. Peter," says the second man a little shyly,
"I must admit that
when I was much younger, I did stray once or twice. But I did
love my
wife very much, and after those minor indiscretions, I was
completely
faithful until my dying day."
St. Peter looks down at the man and says, "As a reward for
good marital
conduct, I am giving you these keys to a Pontiac."
As the man takes the keys from him St. Peter turns to the third
man. "Sir,"
he says, "were you faithful to your wife?"
"St. Peter," says the man, "I screwed everything I
could, every chance I
got. There wasn't a week of my marriage that I didn't sleep with
someone
other than my wife. But I must admit to you, St. Peter, that it
was a
problem I had, because I really did love my wife very much."
"Well," says St. Peter, "we do know that you did
love your wife and that
does count for something, so this is what you get." With
that he rolls
out a ten-speed bicycle and gives it to the man. The gates of
heaven
open, and the three men enter.
Sometime later the man on the bicycle is riding along, when he
sees that
the man with the Rolls-Royce has pulled over and is sitting on
the bumper
of his car. He is sobbing uncontrollably. The man pulls his
bicycle up
next to the man and says, "Hey, pal, what's the matter? What
could
possibly be wrong? You have a beautiful Rolls-Royce to drive
around in?"
"I know," says the man through his sobs, "but I
just saw my wife on roller
skates!"