What kind of friends are we, since I lie to him that I expect the money next week, since he lies to me that he will pay me back and since I say nothing to him when I see that he lies to himself that he would be able to get the money? Even the use of the word 'but' hints that I know I did the wrong thing and I am looking for excuses. Let's take a look at the excuses.
1. He's my friend. So what? Is this the way I am trying to keep his friendship? Why is he my friend in the first place? Are we going to value our friendship more, or at least the same, next week when he starts to feel guilty and to give me all kinds of reasons that are none of my concern while I start pretending that I didn't need the money anyway? Am I really OK with knowing that I won't get the money back, or somewhere in the back of my head there still is hope that somehow he will manage? Can I be sure that I will never bring this issue up and ask for something in return? Am I by any chance trying to buy his friendship?
2. He needs help. Ah, the universal, almighty, bankrupt philosophy of need. Ayn Rand wrote hundreds of pages on this subject, I will just say that need is simply not an argument. The fact that someone needs something, whether it is water or a convertible Lamborghini is nobody's concern except his. So, he needs money. So what? Do I owe anything to him? No (see issue nr. 2). Does the fact that he is my friend entitle him to a certain level of claim on my money? If I refuse, is he entitled to say "I thought we were friends"? Absolutely not. It is precisely the fact that we're friends the reason I will not lend him the money. Honesty is the most precious thing among friends. If I know that he won't be able to return the money, I will either not give it to him, or give it to him for good and let him know about it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|