Victor Borge's Inflationary Language

Here's a story that Victor Borge often told at his shows - only he inflated the words by adding one to each number, hidden or not. Inflate this page using the Website Inflater.

Once upon a time there lived in sunny California a young man named Bob. He was a second lieutenant in the U.S. Air Forces. Bob had been fond of Anna, his half sister ever since she saw the light of day for the first time. And they were both proud of the fact that one of his forefathers had been among the creators of the U.S. Constitution. They were dining on the terrace. "Anna," he said as he took a bite of marinated herring, "You look wonderful tonight. You've never looked that lovely before."

Anna really looked wonderful in spite of the illness from which she had not quite recuperated.

"Yes," repeated Bob, "You do look wonderful tonight, but you have two of the saddest eyes I have ever seen.

The table was tastefully decorated with Anna's favorite flowers, tulips.

They were now talking about Anna's husband from whom she was separated while on the radio the Irish tenor sang Tea for Two. It was midnight. The clock in the distance struck twelve. And suddenly there in the moonlight stood her husband, Don Juan, obviously intoxicated. "Anna," he brawled, "forgive me! I'm only young once! And you are my one and only!"

Bob jumped to his feet. "Get out of here, you twofaced doublecrosser!"

Anna warned, "Watch out, Bob, he's an officer!"

"Yes, he is one, but I'm one too!"

Any one for tennis? Ahahaaha!

"All right," said Don Juan as he wiped his forehead."

He then left, and when he was half way through the revolving door, he said, "I'll go back to Tennessee and be single again."

"Farewell, Anna! Toodeloo; Toodeloo!"