Program notes for "2-bus or Not 2-bus"

Shortly before the Tulsa trip, it was suggested that Carrie Austin, drum major, ride bus #2 (the 2-bus) with the tubas. Miss Austin agreed, under the condition that the entire tuba section profess their undying love for her during rehearsal. Anticipating the collective angst of the tubas, Chris suggested alternate methods of persuasion, including postermaking (i.e. Megan Gregg) and songwriting (i.e. Megan Conn). Despite the limited success Chris had with his arrangement of "Your Ass is Like an Onion," he and SCOC got to work creating an original song with the intention of winning the affection of Miss Austin and her presense on the 2-bus.

For a week they slaved away in the bowels of the Seratean Center, until finally SCOC began pounding out a piano rhythm that beckoned Chris to sing along with. Instantly the the melody was born, and was used in the final version without alteration. This first version of the song had one verse, and lyrics spoken in English:

Carrie Austin's last name is Austin,
And Carrie Austin's first name is Uganda.

[sax solo]

Carrie Austin needs to ride our bus,
'Cuz she's a honkey and wears a thong on her cooter.

[sax solo, vocal harmony with Chris and SCOC]

The song was performed for Miss Austin, who disliked the song on the grounds of the mention of her cooter. Discouraged, Chris and SCOC halted development of the song.

A week later, however, progress was resumed when it was discovered that the song sounded pretty darn cool when played slowly in a parallel minor key. It had a nice, Slavik feel to it. While improvising to SCOC's accompaniment, Chris further developed the melody into a neat tuba solo. (He sucked it up on the recording, though, so it wasn't posted.) It was during the development of this portion of the song that Chris and SCOC realized the song had drifted from its original purpose; rather than for the persuasion of Miss Austin, it was now for their own amusement.

The weeks passed. Miss Austin did not ride the 2-bus for the Tulsa trip, nor did she board it for the Kansas City trip. Chris and SCOC decided to record the song. Late one October night, in practice room 028, with an audience of four (Aimee, Ray, Amy, and Carrie), Chris and SCOC emptied their souls onto a thin strip of magnetic tape to preserve for eternity. And they didn't even get a hug.

The provided excerpt is of the first movement, which is a quasi-complete version of the original song. The only difference is that the lyrics are spoken in Tubonics, rather than their original English. Chris feels that Tubonics is a language which can more accurately convey the emotions the song was written to express.

In its complete form, "2-bus or Not 2-bus" is 6 1/2 minutes long. No future recording sessions are currently planned.