How do you get two flutes to play in unison?
Shoot one.

How do concert band flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they get their boyfriend to do it for them.

How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only 1, but she will break 10 bulbs before she realizes they cannot be pushed in.

What key is the alto flute pitched in?
G-- I really don't care, either!

How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she will have to twist it back and forth for an hour to make sure she gets it just right.

What is the difference between a flutist and a tailor?
I tailor tucks the frills.

What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo?
When you throw it in the toilet and it does not hit the rim.

How do you tune two piccolos?
You shoot them both.

What is the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.