BBS: The French Connection
Date: 12-28-91 (13:27)             Number: 5015
From: GLENN MENZIE                 Refer#: NONE
  To: ALL                           Recvd: NO
Subj: Take this Simple Test....      Conf: (874) IL_ChitChat
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ARE YOU A LIVERHOLIC?

To determine your addiction to liver, and the possibility of getting help, just take this simple test.

  1. WHY DO YOU EAT LIVER?
    1. It's a nice snack now and then.
    2. It's a good way to indulge myself.
    3. It's the fifth major food group.
    4. It's my reason for living.

  2. HOW MUCH LIVER DO YOU CONSUME EVERY WEEK?
    1. Less than two cows (liver deficiency)
    2. Three or four cows (occasional fix)
    3. Four or five cows (heavy user)
    4. Six cows or more (liverholic material)

  3. WHEN IS YOUR FAVORITE TIME TO EAT LIVER?
    1. After a good meal
    2. Between meals
    3. As meals
    4. All of the above

  4. WITH WHOM DO YOU SHARE YOUR LIVER?
    1. Friends, family, co-workers, or whoever is around.
    2. Close friends and family only.
    3. Only with loved ones, and only if they've been good.
    4. Share my liver?  Are you kidding?

  5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WAY TO CONSUME LIVER?
    1. By nibbling a bit now and then, throughout the day.
    2. By swallowing whole, one cow at a time (wrappers optional)
    3. By intravenous injection.
    4. Head-first into a 100-gallon tank.

SCORING:

Give yourself one point for every A, two for every B, three for every C, and four for every D.  Add them up, and compare with the definitions below.

5 - 8 -- NOVICE LIVERHOLIC
You've got a lot of catching up to do.  Start with a daily intake of liver chip cookies.

9 - 12 -- LIVERHOLIC TENDENCIES
You've got the makings of a liverholic.  You just need a little nurturing.  Prescription: increase dosage of liverwurst.

13 - 16 -- CLOSET LIVERHOLIC
All you need is a little push to get you to come out in the open.  A visit to Thornhurst, PA, just might do the trick!

17 - 20 -- A TRUE LIVERHOLIC
As a matter of fact, you're looking piqued, and your hands seem to be shaking.  Must be time for a fix!
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 * SLMR 2.1 #1075 * How come liver gets to your house faster than the police?
 * QNet3 * ILink * SMARTalec * Toronto, Canada * (416) 253-5900

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