My Favorite Sayings

ًHgeocities.com/Vienna/Stage/7066/sayings.htmgeocities.com/Vienna/Stage/7066/sayings.htmdelayedx؟”صJےےےےےےےےےےےےےےےےےےےےب¯،,OKtext/html€Cmo،,ےےےےb‰.HTue, 18 Sep 2007 16:50:39 GMT.Mozilla/4.5 (compatible; HTTrack 3.0x; Windows 98)en, *؟”صJ،, My Favorite Sayings MY FAVORITE SAYINGS

He who has all his ducks in a row will not quack up.
He who engages in puppy love will live a dog's life.
He who says it can't be done shouldn't interrupt the person doing it.
He who finds life empty should try putting something into it.
He whose troubles are all behind him is a school bus driver.
He who cannot direct the winds can adjust his sails.
He who puts his tongue into motion should be sure his brain is in gear.
He who jumps to conclusions usually has a rough landing.
He who has butterfingers should not try to climb the rope.
He who makes a start has half finished the job.
He who reaches the end of his rope should tie a knot and hang on.
He who stretches the truth soon discovers that it snaps back.
He who has to eat his own words never asks for a second helping.
He who is a lazy butcher is a meat loafer.
He who is a self-starter doesn't make a crank out of his boss.
He who thinks the boss is stupid would be out of a job if he were any smarter.
He who prides himself on being hard-boiled is often only half-baked.
You know you've reached middle age when your wife tells you to pull in your stomach, and you already have.
Do a job too well and you'll get stuck with it.
You can't win. Shoot for a tie.
He who slings mud loses ground.
Dirty dishes attract surprise visitors.
The phone never rings until you're settled in the bathroom.
A dog always wants to be on the other side of the door.
Computers are quite stupid. They only do what you tell them to do.
Successful people never have to go to the bathroom.
Everybody thinks everyone else has money.
A headwind will reverse direction on the return flight.
Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
No time is a convenient time for a meeting.
The ears have walls.
Nobody likes a smart-ass; but then again, nobody likes a dumb-ass either.
You never get it where you want it.
Better never than late.
boy am i enthuusiastic-hooah.
Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.
Don't worry about losing your mind. It will last until you go crazy.
Never pass a bathroom.
Flattery is the Vaseline of social intercourse.
Everybody wants to be waited on.
Most things are easier to get into than out of.
I have a very responsible position- whenever anything goes wrong, I'm responsible.
Anything with teeth sooner or later bites.
May I always be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.
I've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.
Mother always told me there'd be days like this, only she never said there'd be so many.
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Golf is a good way to screw up a nice walk in the country.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
If you think it's tough now, just wait.
Cigarette smokers are a dying breed.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
The older I get, the better I used to be.
He who blows his own horn plays sour notes.
Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.
Nobody is a total failure-you can always be used as a bad example.
Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
If at first you don't succeed, you're about average.
He who laughs, lasts.
Just when you get your head above water, someone pulls your flippers off.
When you're out to make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.
I'm always collecting emotions for future reference.
Music does not exist until it is performed.
When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
The toilet paper never runs out on the other guy.
If you don't know how much you're worth, you're not worth much.
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
A leader shouldn't get too far in front of his troops, or he'll get shot in the ass.
Time that you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
The light at the end of the tunnel may turn out to be the headlight of an oncoming train.
You always find something in the last place you look.
When you're hot, you're hot, and when you're not, everybody is watching.
Get up one more time than you're knocked down.
When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Don't sweat the small stuff; it's all small stuff.
There is an updraft over wastebaskets.
The first elevator to arrive is going in the wrong direction.
Honest people and stupid people have a common characteristic; they take it in the shorts a lot.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
Nobody's in a hurry when you are.
Never wear a hat that has more character than you do.
The more weight you have to carry and the farther you have to carry it all are factors in how much your nose itches.
The probability of the toast landing jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
There is a solution to every problem; the only difficulty is finding it.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
The best things in life are messy.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four- unless there were three other people involved.
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.
The gleam in my eye is only the sun reflecting off my bifocals.
It's never too late to be what you could have been.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
No two hotel shower faucets operate the same way.
When one observes shit congregating in the vicinity of a fan, it is prudent to unplug the fan.
When you're over the hill, you pick up speed.
If we should have to fight, then we should be prepared to do so from the neck up instead of the neck down.
Negative thinking never got nobody nothing.
Double negatives are a no-no.
Don't look for real success until after the age of fifty. It takes that long to get over the distraction of sex.
A penny saved is a penny.
Old fishermen never die; they just smell that way.
Life is short; art is long.
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
We've upped our standards; now up yours!
Life is uncertain-eat dessert first!
Never try to out-stubborn a cat.
He who turns the other cheek too far gets it in the neck.
College is a fountain of knowledge where the students come to drink.
We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
Sex on the TV can't hurt you unless you fall off.
You never find the article until you replace it.
If you're early the bus is late. If you're late the bus was early.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
A successful man is a clod just like you who worked harder.
The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration.
90% of success is just showing up.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.
You never run out of things that can go wrong.
Time keeps everything from happening all at once.
If a series of events can go wrong, it will do so in the worst possible sequence.
The Other Line moves faster.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.
A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
You can't outtalk a man who knows what he's talking about.
After all is said and done, a heck of a lot more is said than done.
Don't let your superiors know you're better than they are.
Love is a hole in the heart.
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
You have taken yourself too seriously.
Aim at nothing and you will hit it.
The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
Just when you think you see the light at the end of the tunnel the roof caves in.
Nobody you talk to online is ever as wealthy, smart, or beautiful as they claim to be.
Sometimes the key to happiness is not assuming it was locked in the first place!