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August '02
Quote of the Month
"Take Pennsylvania, double it by a third, add tornadoes, snow, crap, and nasty corn, and make it never stop, and you have Nebraska." -- Tompy, 8/21
8/3
Matt's House
"We keep our ice in plastic bottles because it's less convenient." -- Matt
"Do you ever walk into a room and forget why you're there? That's what a dog's life must be like." -- Matt
8/4
Doing the 'nasty at Matt's House
Matt: Up shit's creek with a very small spoon.
Disu: Up shit's creek with a spoon with holes in it.
Matt: Up shit's creek with a slotted spoon!
Hoter: Shasta McDirty.
Disu: Shasta McDiscard.
Matt: Shasta McAnytime you're ready.
8/7
Kathleen's Beach!
"I'm not the adventurous 18-year-old I once was." -- Kathleen
"I don't know what you're waiting for your burger to do, but I'm sure it's done it by now." -- Matt, to Disu
"Don't put your ass in the sky!" -- Kathleen. It took me a while to realize she was talking about the puddle of Skyy Blue on the floor.
Disu: Ass ferret!
Andrew: I've just been called an "Ass Ferret."
Kathleen: What did you do?
Disu: He ferretted my ass!
8/11
My voicemail
"Hi Andrew, it's Jen. Just wanted to see what you were doing tonight. I'm really bored and I think towels should be worn as clothing, so I'll talk to you later, bye." -- Skirky
The Bermatorium, playing various games
"Partner, what thinkest thou?" -- Dan, mocking Hoyle's strict Canasta rules.
"You look like you should be holding a five-pound bag of rice walking through a plantation." -- Hoter, as I placed a wooden bowl on my head.
Hoter: I got a bruise from a ride at Splish Splash.
Tompy: You ARE a ride at Splish Splash! The Wet Breast.
Sara: Keep it in your pants, Hoter.
Hoter: I have nothing to whip out!
Tomp: You ARE what gets whipped out!
"If you were lying there in the desert getting eaten by vultures, I would skip you." -- Tompy, to Hoter while playing Phase Ten
8/14
Bermatorium: turtle hunting, Phase Ten, arts & crafts :)
"Unlike Yoda, turtles don't disappear when they die." -- Skirky, dismissing death from the list of possibilities of where my turtle could have gone.
"She's sitting quiet. Then again so do volcanoes." -- Tompy, dismissing the inference silence implies harmlessness (that sounded mathy)
"You can paint my no." -- Tomp
8/18
Borders
"I don't know if you've heard about Borders' alphabetizing system. It goes A,C,M,R...." -- Sarina, assisting me as I tried to shelve young adult fiction
The The Dojo party at Sensei Brandes' house
Sensei Rebecca: Hey look, Dolan! They have cheese AND they have Vanilla Coke!
Mike Dolan: Ooh! My day is made. Now if only they had cheese-flavored Vanilla Coke.
"My mother trying to swallow a pill is like a canary trying to swallow in zero-gravity." -- Matt
Chatroom
"Horsecock sandwich tity slapping bitch ass ho mother fucker is what I think of." -- Tomp, playing free association.
8/20
Suigetsu Dojo
"I always cry at black belt tests." -- Kira
8/21
The Sluiceland
"Take Pennsylvania, double it by a third, add tornadoes, snow, crap, and nasty corn, and make it never stop, and you have Nebraska." -- Tompy
"Take I-80 to Wyoming and make a left." -- Tompy, giving directions to her school
"I'm going to kill you, daddy!!!" -- Kathleen, demonically, to a daddy longlegs
Louise's Livejournal
"This was definitly a interesting weekend. And it is totally irrelevant that I am discussing this on Wednesday." -- Louise
8/22
Somewhere
"Can you just imagine a world where instead of air we had kittens?" -- Skirky. Yes, she's insane.
8/24
Commack Middle School
"I'll go peer into the window like I'm looking for a craft fair." -- Andrew, looking for a craft fair.
Bermatoriplace
Andrew: It's the light at the end of the tunnel.
Skirky: It's the kitten at the end of the tunnel of fuzzy kittens!
"Arms from hell!" -- Kathleen
"I'm going to kill everyone!" -- Kathleen, about her sharp toenails.
8/26
Xando
"Vegetable korma is like sex in a bowl, with vegetables." -- Skirky
8/28
Borders
"I like to eat my Snapple with a fork." -- Cassie
Andrew: Do you think this is a useless waste of red dots?
Dwight: No, I think it's a creative waste of red dots.
The land of magnifying glasses
"Oh my G-d this is horrible! Let me order some pillows!" -- What Skirky imagines her mother said when she ordered couch cushions on 9-11.
8/29
Here
"That cat has to live up to a very high standard of petdom." -- My dad, upon finding out that All and Paul named their cat "Buddy," which was his dog's name.