August '02

Quote of the Month

"Take Pennsylvania, double it by a third, add tornadoes, snow, crap, and nasty corn, and make it never stop, and you have Nebraska." -- Tompy, 8/21


8/3

Matt's House

"We keep our ice in plastic bottles because it's less convenient." -- Matt
"Do you ever walk into a room and forget why you're there? That's what a dog's life must be like." -- Matt

8/4

Doing the 'nasty at Matt's House

Matt: Up shit's creek with a very small spoon.
Disu: Up shit's creek with a spoon with holes in it.
Matt: Up shit's creek with a slotted spoon!

Hoter: Shasta McDirty.
Disu: Shasta McDiscard.
Matt: Shasta McAnytime you're ready.

8/7

Kathleen's Beach!

"I'm not the adventurous 18-year-old I once was." -- Kathleen
"I don't know what you're waiting for your burger to do, but I'm sure it's done it by now." -- Matt, to Disu
"Don't put your ass in the sky!" -- Kathleen. It took me a while to realize she was talking about the puddle of Skyy Blue on the floor.

Disu: Ass ferret!
Andrew: I've just been called an "Ass Ferret."
Kathleen: What did you do?
Disu: He ferretted my ass!

8/11

My voicemail

"Hi Andrew, it's Jen. Just wanted to see what you were doing tonight. I'm really bored and I think towels should be worn as clothing, so I'll talk to you later, bye." -- Skirky

The Bermatorium, playing various games

"Partner, what thinkest thou?" -- Dan, mocking Hoyle's strict Canasta rules.
"You look like you should be holding a five-pound bag of rice walking through a plantation." -- Hoter, as I placed a wooden bowl on my head.

Hoter: I got a bruise from a ride at Splish Splash.
Tompy: You ARE a ride at Splish Splash! The Wet Breast.

Sara: Keep it in your pants, Hoter.
Hoter: I have nothing to whip out!
Tomp: You ARE what gets whipped out!

"If you were lying there in the desert getting eaten by vultures, I would skip you." -- Tompy, to Hoter while playing Phase Ten

8/14

Bermatorium: turtle hunting, Phase Ten, arts & crafts :)

"Unlike Yoda, turtles don't disappear when they die." -- Skirky, dismissing death from the list of possibilities of where my turtle could have gone.
"She's sitting quiet. Then again so do volcanoes." -- Tompy, dismissing the inference silence implies harmlessness (that sounded mathy)
"You can paint my no." -- Tomp

8/18

Borders

"I don't know if you've heard about Borders' alphabetizing system. It goes A,C,M,R...." -- Sarina, assisting me as I tried to shelve young adult fiction

The The Dojo party at Sensei Brandes' house

Sensei Rebecca: Hey look, Dolan! They have cheese AND they have Vanilla Coke!
Mike Dolan: Ooh! My day is made. Now if only they had cheese-flavored Vanilla Coke.

"My mother trying to swallow a pill is like a canary trying to swallow in zero-gravity." -- Matt

Chatroom

"Horsecock sandwich tity slapping bitch ass ho mother fucker is what I think of." -- Tomp, playing free association.

8/20

Suigetsu Dojo

"I always cry at black belt tests." -- Kira

8/21

The Sluiceland

"Take Pennsylvania, double it by a third, add tornadoes, snow, crap, and nasty corn, and make it never stop, and you have Nebraska." -- Tompy
"Take I-80 to Wyoming and make a left." -- Tompy, giving directions to her school
"I'm going to kill you, daddy!!!" -- Kathleen, demonically, to a daddy longlegs

Louise's Livejournal

"This was definitly a interesting weekend. And it is totally irrelevant that I am discussing this on Wednesday." -- Louise

8/22

Somewhere

"Can you just imagine a world where instead of air we had kittens?" -- Skirky. Yes, she's insane.

8/24

Commack Middle School

"I'll go peer into the window like I'm looking for a craft fair." -- Andrew, looking for a craft fair.

Bermatoriplace

Andrew: It's the light at the end of the tunnel.
Skirky: It's the kitten at the end of the tunnel of fuzzy kittens!

"Arms from hell!" -- Kathleen
"I'm going to kill everyone!" -- Kathleen, about her sharp toenails.

8/26

Xando

"Vegetable korma is like sex in a bowl, with vegetables." -- Skirky

8/28

Borders

"I like to eat my Snapple with a fork." -- Cassie

Andrew: Do you think this is a useless waste of red dots?
Dwight: No, I think it's a creative waste of red dots.

The land of magnifying glasses

"Oh my G-d this is horrible! Let me order some pillows!" -- What Skirky imagines her mother said when she ordered couch cushions on 9-11.

8/29

Here

"That cat has to live up to a very high standard of petdom." -- My dad, upon finding out that All and Paul named their cat "Buddy," which was his dog's name.