February '02

Quote of the Month!
"You know, I bring you a penis and all you do is criticize." -- Ashley, 2/11


circa 2/1

online

"Ya know, I don't care. Chinatown, Riverside, whatever." -- Kathleen

2/2

The Carousel Center

Sara: I am the driving across the lanes of the parking lot master!
Andrew: I am the gay porn master!
Brenda: Wow, Andrew's a lot more interesting than Sara.

2/3

Online

Brody(DA): Where is it?
Andrew: 102 Hall of Languages
Brody: The big grey menacing building?
Andrew: Yes, that's it!

The Slice

"I make a motion to change the word 'motion' to 'major discussion topic event.'" -- Sara

2/4

Mary's room, the label party

"Can we talk about this less?" -- Mary, trying to change the subject

2/5

Walking to class

"If you have a clean kitchen and bathroom, you have no reason to be unhappy with your life." -- Kelly, on the simple things.

2/6

Adam's history of pop class

"It's one of the pimples on the butt of American history." -- Dr. Waggoner, on slavery
"Incest, murder, what else cracks you up?" -- Waggoner, harrassing an hysterical Clancy

2/7

Walking to class

Kelly: He's my mofo.
Andrew: Mofos can have mofos?
Kelly: I am such a mofo that I have one of my own.

Setnor Aud, convo

Dr. Downing: Where is this mode from? You should get this if you know anything about me.
Ashley Brown: Canada?

Eggers

Jakky: Where on Long Island are you from?
Andrew: That's right!
Katie: That's Right, Long Island.

"I have a lot of land. We could make a square in one of my fields, and it could be That's Right! But it wouldn't be on Long Island. It would be That's Right, Long Island, We're In Schenectady!" -- Katie

Parallel dimensions to That's Right: Sure Thing, You Betcha
Evil town: W'sha!

"The Chicken With the Flaxen Hair." -- Andrew, as he clucked the tune to the famous Debussy prelude: The Girl With the Flaxen Hair

online

"Graduate? Don't do that, Andrew." -- Dan Lerner giving a pep talk.

2/8

Crouse, Analysis of Twentieth Century Music

Cheech: There's an E flat in the voice.
Liu: Oh, we ignore the voice.

Kim's House, decorating for the Founders Day party

"April fools cake! Surprise, it's pizza!" -- Jason, trying to say angel food cake
"I can't blow when you look at me like that." -- JenGa
"It's like having Zeus over for dinner!" -- Sara, as I tried to figure out what to do with Mike Noll for three hours
"Andrew, it's ten minutes to Noll." -- JenGa
"It's three minutes to Noll!" -- JenGa
"I don't want to be here alone when the sex comes back!" -- Sara
"Andrew! What are you doing here? It's five past Noll!" -- JenGa

Sara: What time is it?
JenGa: Noll 35

Tennity Ice Skating Pavilion

"Oh my G-d, Mike Noll just ice skated right past me!" -- Juice (DA), who was unaware that the VP of Chapter Development was in attendance.

Andrew: There's a puddle of JenGa at my feet.
Sara: Better get a Swiffer Wet.

2/9

I-81, Adopt a Highway

"It has to be bigger than the size of my thumb for me to bend over and pick it up." -- Ken VanderVeer (DA)

Toggenburg, Snow Tubing

"I'm lonely and horny. Let's get him in the frat." -- Jess Cohen

Andrew: I don't have my gloves.
Jess C: I'm just too mature.
(Our reasons for not joining the snowball fight)

Benevento's

"Ham and eggs. The chicken participated in the breakfast. The ham, the pig was committed." -- Mike Noll

Beta Epsilon's 9th Birthday Party

"JenGa is androgynous. She can be whatever sex is necessary." -- Lindsay

Things

Ken(DA): Abby will kill you if she finds out you said that.
Chris or Don: You're threatening us with your girlfriend?

2/10

Newhouse I, Phi Sigma Pi chapter meeting

"I ate Binghamton." -- Sara, having taken a slice out of the NY state-shaped cake
"You Alpha Rho people are sketchy." -- Jess Halbert, to her fiance, Eric

Kimmel

"You haven't read about string theory? Good G-d, man!" -- Lindsay

Things that are Mind-fucks

  1. String theory
  2. "Buy one for the price of two, get one free!"
  3. The English Language
  4. Fractal geometry

online

"We usually just blame Don when girls get upset." -- Dan Lerner

phone with Kathleen

"It says 'A required resource was,' and it wants me to click 'okay.' But it's not okay!" -- Andrew

2/11

500 Hall of Languages, Phi Sigma Pi rush event

"Hi, I'm Beau. I'm the boyfriend of the penis girl." -- Beau
"You know, I bring you a penis and all you do is criticize." -- Ashley, after I commented on her penis's lack of balls.

2/13

Crouse

"It's cold birds outside!" -- Katie
"I don't want to walk home, it's penguins out there!" -- Katie

Online, mostly discussing the "Which Dead Russian Composer are you" test

"It took me five tries to be Prokofiev!" -- Andrew
"I was Tchaikovsky twice. Apparently the internet has gaydar." -- Andrew
"Not everyone can be Prokofiev." -- Aaron
"Join the Stravinsky cult! Welcome to Stravinskyland, if the polychords don't get you, the mixed meter will!" -- Aaron

Andrew: I'm so jealous of Mike! And Hope! Hope's Prokofiev too.
Katie: Um ... drink more vodka!

"I'm gonna go to bed because I'm a dizzy reindeer." -- Katie

Kathleen: "Some people call me Maurice!"
Andrew: I'm scared of those people.
(See 12/18)

"Snood should be in the Olympics." -- Kathleen

2/14

Crouse

Andrew: No instruments, no men.
Dana: Welcome to my life.

JenGa's House, Valentine's Day ice cream eating and movie watching

Andrew: On Thanksgiving, this is what the animal does.
Jason: It DIES!
(We were playing Taboo, the answer was gobble)

"Sexism always happens. You guys should be used to it by now." -- Jason, to a room full of girls.

Kathy: Because of people like you!
Jason: Who understand.

2/15

the house of Taboo and things

"3...2...1...you suck." -- Dan Lerner
"It's the new adventures of Peanut Oil and Dildo." -- Smappy, using our new nicknames for Shabi and Louise
"I'm tired of drawing vaginas." -- Shabi, with a Magna Doodle
"Keep the vaginas at bay!" -- VaJenGa
"He was looking for a vagina monologue of his own." -- Andrew, on Brody and Louise's mishaps on the couch.

Brody: That hurt!
Louise: I'm not sorry.

"Everytime he gets hurt he sounds British!" -- VaJenGa, about Brody

2/16

Darwin's

"'My secret plan is to have our american forces invade the government of Pakistan, but don't quote me on that.' 'Mr. President, you're on CNN.'" -- Dan Lerner, on President Bush's indiscretion

A sign in Schine

"Underground is downstairs"

Jeremiah's Car, stopped at a light

"I can hear that music, like, through my foot!" -- Jeremiah Davie, on the blasting stereo of the car next to us

2/17

Newhouse, Phi Sigma Pi Bid Night

"I ate so much candy, I wanna puke and eat pizza instead." -- Shabi
"Meet the committees." -- Mary, at a time when it made absolutely NO sense
"Are you quite finished?" -- Mary, to the crowd of people saying "Zick" over and over

Mary: Six inches is kinda big.
Smatt: Isn't that right, Andrei?

"I want to go to the house and be like, 'Ding dong, you suck.'" -- Sara, on the prospect of rejecting a sorority girl.
"She's the one who'll be smiling like a mad woman." -- Sara

Club Something Other Than Windstar

"I don't know what's happening, but it's making me make noises." -- Mary
"I love Annabel the most because she means I get to eat!" -- Mary, at the end of a long string of bid deliveries

Kimmel

"I'm trying to remember ... sneeze ... no." -- Andrew, trying to remember why Louise's new name is Dildo

2/20

Online

"What who? I can count - I'm the treasurer!" -- Shohei, his abilities questioned

2/21

Crouse

Rachel Roy: Hip hop didn't originate in America.
Andrew: Oh? Where did it originate?
Rachel Roy: Mandarinia

Goldstein Auditorium, Danceworks

Andrew: Coooooo.
Mary: That's not really a canary sound.
Andrew: Nyip.
Mary: It's more of a chirping.
Andrew: Meow.
Mary: Okay, you're really terrible at chirping.

"They had me at hello." -- Shabi, moved by a Danceworks number.
"I can't read." -- Mary, in the dark

Upon exiting Schine

Andrew: It's raining!
Shabi: It's cold!
Benny: It's cold AND it's raining!
Sara: Revelations about the weather!
Mary: It's dark!
Andrew: There are buildings!

2/22

Holly's room

"It's really fast, and it's really exciting! It's an intense experience! And afterwards, you're like 'I need a nap.'" -- Holly, on watching Dealey sign

2/23

Panasci Lounge

Lindsay: I have to go to the ATM first, if that's okay with everyone.
Holly: Selfish bitch!

2/25

Online

Lusky: Does Purim involve celebrating by being intoxicated?
Andrew: Every Jewish holiday does.

2/26

Friendlys

Kim: Someone have a beef with my beef?
Sara: I'm going over here where it's funny.

"That looks like a party that you eat!" -- Mary, about Sara's colorful salad

2/27

Barb's Office

"Hello D.O.? I'm calling to ask how you manage to defy the laws of nature by simultaneously sucking and blowing." -- Kelly

Magna Doodle board in the kitchen

"Vomitous chunks abound. Stench riseth. Please save the kitchen before it's too late!" -- Kelly