January

Note: Katie and Kate are two different people. Katie is a music student (Katie Apple) and Kate is a 2C resident (Kate Regan).

1/1

Early Morning at Kathleen's

"How come every time I see you, you're throwing birds down staircases?" -- Kim
"No sex on the rugelach (sp)." -- Alex
"Don't practice your alliteration on me!" -- Sara (quote originally from Monty Python. There, now you can't sue me!)
"Alex is every woman's boob." -- Andrew

Later that day, still at Kathleen's, playing "Scruples."
Matt: Repeat what I just said!
Kathleen: Repeat what I just said!
That evening, at Wendy's
"We look so scary here in our ... sweaters." -- Kathleen

1/2

Erika's House playing Scruples, again

"Call Gary, he'd say 'Eat the infant!'" -- Stephanie
"Really hot guy, does he have facial hair and socks?" -- Erika, being very much herself.

1/3

In Jenn's Car, on the way up to Okemo

"In New York, even the geese are angry!" -- Jen
"Jen 'I don't like skiing with the sunroof open' Lenihan." -- Jen

Some Burger King, outside of Springfield, Mass
"Wow, Guam really is better than Chemistry." -- Jen

Our Winterplace condo at Okemo
"He's funny looking. Maybe he'll be of use to me someday." -- Christine
"There's gonna be some upholstery flying.... Ooh the lamps. The lamps are definitely doable. This house is just so damn fuckable I love it!" -- Jen
"Students roasting on a open fire." -- Jen

1/4

In our condo. The following ten quotes happened over the course of fifteen minutes.

"You skanking whore from Springfield!" -- Jen
"Didn't you see the 'do not twirl the chandelier' sign?" -- Jen
"No more quotes in the champagne room please!" -- Jen
"My nipples leak because I'm got three octopuses in them." -- Jen
"Thank you, hi I'm a farmer in Hawaii." -- Jen, referring to Christine
"The tentacles are spewing from the ass of my pants." -- Jen
"For the love of the trees, please stop quoting!" -- Jen
"Go to octopus hell!" -- Jen
"I'm lactating so much that even my bras in another room are leaking." -- Jen
"I'm a lactating mother of octopus, give me a break!" -- Jen

The rest of the quotes were dispersed throughout the evening
"I bit you, can we still be friends?" -- Topic of some dumb talk show
"It's too gooey, it's too firm, it's too hairy, no one's ever satisfied!" -- Jen
"I'm guilty of everything that's been broken, raped, or maimed in this house." -- Jen
"(Cough cough choke cough choke, etc.) ... marshmellow." -- Christine
"Same old, same old. Left in bed with a basket. What a let down." -- Jen
"He's just using this as an excuse to hit me with sheep." -- Jen

1/5

More Condo quotes
Jen: Are you soft as a baby's butt?
Matt: No ... I'm red and irritated as a baby's butt.
"Life without ketchup is octopus hell!" -- Jen
"You are not even going to be so lucky as to go to octopus hell, ... you are going to be so deep in hell you're going to have to look up to look down!" -- Jen, to Andrew, of course.
"Go fuck a frying pan!" -- Christine, to Lauren (we were all shocked)
"I'm a fucking tree ... not a regular tree, a fucking tree. I fuck other trees when you're not looking!" -- Jen (this was the quote that after Jen read it over, she realized how truly funny she is.)
"It's not like his heart isn't already in his left shoe!" -- Jen, watching "Greed"

1/6

Another shitty day on the slopes

"Where there are ice cubes, there are happy, hairy goats." -- Matt (because ice cubes blow hairy goats, you see.)

1/7

At long last, a nice day on the slopes

"If this quad weren't high speed, I think a lot more people would shoot themselves." -- Matt

In Lauren's Car, en route to Boston via the finicky Rte. 2
"45 [mph]? What is the reason for this insanity?" -- Lauren
"25?! 25?! No! I am not going 25! It's a freaking highway!" -- Lauren

1/8

Northeastern University, Jared's Dorm in White Hall

"They were nice on the phone, how annoying." -- Kathleen

Dick's Last Resort, Boston
"When you peel the label off a bottle of Ketchup, not only are you sexually repressed, but you've got a thing for tomatoes." -- Mike McClain, not realizing the total humor of his statement
Andrew: It wasn't "tomato" that was funny, it was "the." Kathleen: Yes, "The!" Hahaha!

1/9

Au Bon Pain, at Northeastern

"Silly putty and shit are different, but similar." -- Kathleen
"You think everything's a breast.... He thinks everything's an Alex." -- Kathleen

Erika's House
"Somebody get my camera, I have an object on my head!" -- Sara
Adam: Erika, help!
Jennelle: Let me hurt him, please, just a little bit more!
Erika: ... Okay, five more minutes.

1/10

Classy Coffee, Huntington Village

Cari (Missan): Technically, a "geek" bites off the heads of snakes and rabbits.
Jennelle: That's so wrong!
Gina: That sounds fun!

1/11

Gasho of Japan

"I'm only friends with people that let me bite them." -- Sara


Gina's House, playing Psychiatrist

"What have we learned from this evening? Jennelle solicits oral sex!" -- Gina
"Three of me, how scary!" -- Jennelle

1/12

Sara's House

"When I was in school there was a kid named Otto. He was from Mobile. You know what we called him? Fatso." -- Spin City
"He drank a quart of whiskey every night. I like that in a man." -- Sara (about Winston Churchill)
"You can't miss it, unless you're blind. In which case you shouldn't be driving." -- Sara


Email

"All nothing and no anything else makes Alyssa INSANE." -- Alyssa

1/14

The Carrier Dome

"The basketball gods are displeased with ORL." -- Meredith

1/15

Flint Main Desk

"I have a question, Mark. (I have a question mark)" -- Elif
"If you want something from me, you should know better than to touch me." -- Cameron, to Meggen

1/17

Meggen's Room, playing Scrabble

"Keep that knife in your pants please." -- Meggen, to Andrew Pappas (not Andrew Berman)
"I think I take the sucking crown." -- Ryan
"What are you ons?" -- Andrew Pappas (in response to Ryan wanting to spell "ons" in Scrabble)


Flint Main Desk

Meggen: You're not a Castrati (to Andrew Pappas).
Andrew (Berman): Well, I guess you would know better than anyone else.


Online

Disuhan: Why is the u so small?
SLuICE KEL: Because it's farther away!

1/18

Flint 2C

"There must be some way to get into my car. It's a Metro; it can't be completely anti-theft!" -- Clarissa Cupolo, reminiscing being locked out of her car (First Quote!)


DellPlain Hall

"I thank you Mr. Cue Ball. You are a ttrue friend." -- Alyssa

1/19

Online

"The goal of our club will be to try to find ways to get the members thrown out." -- Erika, discussing our newly founded "Lonely Hearts Club"

1/20

Crouse Lounge

"You can call me Maven if you like." -- Katie Apple
Katie: I like it better than Muriel.
Andrew: Why would anyone ever call you Muriel?
Katie: They wouldn't, 'cause Maven is better.


Ruby Tuesdays

"I don't owe money, cuz I'm cute." -- Betsy


Flint Main Lounge: Who Wants to be a Millionaire program

"Hi dad. We're playing Who Wants to be a Millionaire in my dorm, and I have a question for you." -- Melissa Sexstone, using a life line


Lauren & Ilana's Room

"Hi, I'm Stacy from downstairs. You're not my RA so I can have sex with you!" -- Kate

1/22

Miriam's Room

"On the outside I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to become a criminal." -- Shawshank Redemption (not funny, just ironic)


716 Sumner, Phi Sig party

"My washing machine doesn't gyrate enough for my taste." -- Miriam
MariAnne: How much is too many?
Miriam: A lot.

1/24

Flint Main Desk

"I'm sitting in a puddle of fucking wet!" -- Meggen

1/25

Rachel's Office

"I like skiing, and not just because I get to sleep with random guys." -- Rachel


On the phone

"Hi, I'm here. Don't eat me." -- Sara


Flint Classroom, staff meeting

"There's a glitch in the Matrix!" -- Lauchlin (Please don't sue me!)

1/27

Crouse

"I'm going to write Passacaglia for Two Chickens." -- Andrew
"Chicken with an identity crisis: boc boc boc ... baa." -- Katie


Honors Suite, HNR 210

"I'd like to meet him too, but purely out of interest.... he's dead." -- Dr. West
"This is my best friend, Tea Kettle." -- Alyssa


Online

"I would like to write the second movement, which would be Chanson for two chickens, a cat, and a Cadbury Bunny." -- Kelly (again, I would like not to be sued)

1/28

Flint 2C Lounge, Kate's goodbye party

"I'm gonna trim all the wicks and mail them all to you!" -- Kate

1/29

Kimmel Food Court

Alyssa: What are you looking at?
Andrew: The sound.

Random girl: So how are you?
Random guy: You know, hangin' a little to the left.

1/30

Hall of Languages, Phi Sig Service committee meeting

"It doesn't matter! If you're purple it's still a horrible name!" -- Kara DeMarco


Cricket & Clarice's Room

MariAnne: Are we going to Shaw?
Clarice: First let me leave Cricket a note in her panties.