The Manliness Assessment...
 
 1)    In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
 a)   lovemaking
 b)   screwing
 c)   the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
 
 2)    You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
 you've both shared:
 a)   your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
 b)   your blood-test results
 c)   five tequila slammers
 
 3)    You time your orgasm so that:
 a)   your partner climaxes first
 b)   you both climax simultaneously
 c)   you don't miss SportsCenter
 
 4)    Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
 a)   healthy, creative love-play
 b)   not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree
       to
 c)   not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find
       out about
 
 5)    Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex
        with = is:
 a)   the best part of the experience
 b)   the second best part of the experience
 c)   $100 extra
 
 6)    Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month.
        You tell her that it is:
 a)   No concern of yours
 b)   not a problem, she can join your gym
 c)   a conservative estimate
 
 7)    You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
 a)   a myth
 b)   an oxymoron
 c)   a moron
 
 8)    Foreplay is to sex as:
 a)   appetizer is to entree
 b)   primer is to paint
 c)   a line is to an amusement park ride
 
 9)    Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself
         saying at the end of a relationship?
 a)   "I hope we can still be friends."
 b)   "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
 c)   "Welcome to Dumpsville; population, YOU."
 
 10)   A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
 a)   probably needs a little more time before she can cope with
       that sort of intimacy
 b)   is uptight and a waste of time
 c)   shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first
       place
 
 
 Evaluating the results:
 If you answered "a" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure
 you really are a man.
 If you answered "b" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a
 little confused.
If you answered "c" more than 7 times, "You DA MAN!