1.  You think Genitalia is an Italian airline
2.  You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids
3.  Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies
4.  You've been married three times and still have the same inlaws
5.  You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night
6.  Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People"
7.  You wonder how service stations keep theri restrooms so clean
8.  Anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!"
9.  You've got more than one brother named Darryl
10. You think Dom Perignon is a mafia leader
11. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan
12. You go to your family reunion looking for a date
13. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare
14. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start you engines."
15. You lit a match in the bathroom and your whole house exploded right off its wheels
16. You take a six-pack cooler to church
17. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife
18. You had to remove a toothpick from your mouth for your wedding pictures
19. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending upon how much gas is in it
20. You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge
21. One of your kids was born on a pool table
22. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade
23. You can't marry your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
24. You dated your dad's current wife in high school
25. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk
26. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.