December '00

Quote of the Month!

"Andrew is a wonderbra. He's very supportive, and he lifts you up when you are feeling less than perky." -- Betsy, 12/9




Note: Christian and Khristian are two different people. Christian Figueroa is a singer and Khristian Kemp-DeLisser is a former Flint RA.


12/1

Counterpoint

"Variations on a theme by Jesus." -- Jessica Helie (first quote), Dr. Godfrey was using "Joy to the World" as the subject of an Invention



The Happiest Soup Kitchen on Earth

"Planet of the Apes II? The NRA Strikes Back?" -- Andrew, trying to come up with Charleton Heston movies during a game of Kings.
"What? There are still apes here? I know the apes you did last summer!" -- Sara, doing the same.

Brenda: I don't bite.
Sara: You're strange.

"I don't bite, I suck." -- Brenda, okaaay.

12/2

La Tourelle, the Phi Sigma Pi semiformal

"Now I'm questioning everything!" -- Peter

Erin: Ali! Pat's raping me!
Ali: Do you want us to leave?

"Feel me, I'm hot." -- Jen, and she is.
"I have this turtle pillow that Ariel likes to fuck until it's spent." -- Emily

Miriam: Fuckin' Canadian Bacon is different from Canadian Bacon.
Andrew: Canadian Bacon doesn't get any action.

Peter: We can't play strip poker! There are too many guys in here!
Kristina: Aww, poor pimp.

"And then there were these big fish pillows at the mall. They were like this big! And she fucked them until they were spent...she fucked them...at the Bon Ton! They were spent.... And they were fish! ..." -- Ems was pretty damn drunk.

12/3

Online

"When I set my alarm, two schools of thought are brought into being. There is the school my clock follows, which states that once the alarm is set, the clock should dutifully go about waking me up at the preordained time. There is also my school of thought which states that I really have no intention of getting up at this preordained time and that my alarm clock is only set to make me feel better about at least trying to get up. This school also states that the clock should then forget entirely and go about its quiet business of showing what time it is." -- Matt

12/5

Haven Dining Hall

"It's easy for an inanimate object to be demure. It doesn't have to talk, or have breasts." -- Clarice
"'Yes, no, or I'm not sure?' Where's the box that says 'Hell the fuck no!'?" -- Merideth McLain

12/6

Crouse

"Aaron Copland smoked some crack and wrote sea shanties!" -- Kelly, describing the piece for our conducting final.

Andrew: Kelly's awesome. She's the man.
Dana: She's the man, and yet, she's a woman.
Hope: She's THAT good.

"It's all about the Turkish Whorehouse!" -- Hope thinks Burlesque from Persichetti's Divertimento sounds like a Turkish Whorehouse, and it does.
"And Barb could be our RA!" -- Dana, imagining a VPA learning community.


Yet Another Reason Why Andrew's a Freak of Nature

6. He's not ticklish.


Online

Andrew: You should write it in, and tape a flimsy piece of paper over it that says, "Don't read this!"
Sara: Chechenya, that would be copyright infringement.
Andrew: So was MAKING YOUR OWN QUOTEBOOK!
Sara: No, that was flattery. Everyone else making their own Quotebook was copyright infringement.
Andrew: Oh, I see. Subtle differences.
Sara: One day you'll be as smart as me so you can pick them up.

"That's my second favorite thing in the world! (Just in case something else is cooler)" -- Matt

12/7

The House

Christian: Where are your juevos?
Mike: Have you checked your butt? Because that's where they're headed.

"I just want to go up and cut their hair off and feed it to them." -- Christian

12/8

Online

"Okay, so get here as soon asap.... Really soon that means." -- Sara


Sara's room in Flint

"Mikey, I need to shoot you in the penis." -- Lindsay

Lindsay: You have the "Jerking off Quotebook."
Sara: No I don't!

Mikey: Give me a massage.
Sara: I'm not good at them, but you can give me one. I'm very good at getting them.

Brenda: [Mikey] would go for animals and rhododendrons (sp?) as well.
Lindsay: No no, not rhododendrons!

12/9

Madrigal Dinner

"Remember Princess, Grumpy was a smurf, but so was Happy." -- some guy.


The International House of Scrabble (Our House)

"I like a girl who likes my quotes." -- Adam, JD
"If Scrabble be the game of love, play on." -- Betsy
"Andrew is a wonderbra. He's very supportive, and he lifts you up when you are feeling less than perky." -- Betsy

(Andrew spells "Yoogen")
Betsy: What does Yoogen mean?
Mike Hennessy: It means yoogen check it after I leave.

Mike Hennessy: What's "wixine?"
Betsy: It's ... um ... earwax repellant.

"Oh fooey, let's do it!" -- Mike Hennessy (see the definition of "fooeesx" below)

Andrew: It has to be something you would never put on a salad.
Betsy: Like pigeons!
(see the definition of "atons" below)


The Balderabble Dictionary

After a while, we gave up on real Scrabble and decided making up our own words was more fun. Here are the words we used in our new game, called "Balderabble"

Yoogen: see above
Wixine: see above
Espagm: Phlegm resulting from overaccentuated Ss and Ps.
Espagmdy: Medical condition in which one has a lot of Espagm i.e. "I have a bad case of espagmdy"
Frahami: Deli meat made from twin sheep.
Epice: Pice over the Internet.
Errr: A really bad err.
Fooees: Utterances from Disney characters.
Fooeesx: X rated fooees. i.e. "Oh fooey, let's do it!"
Radax: Ajax with added Radon
UHIO: An Italian bent word. (starts at the P, ends at the O)
A
P
Volneg: An oneg performed while playing volleyball.
Jewt: A Jewish lizard.
Jewty: Of or relating to a Jewt.
Atons: Anything that is not a salad topping i.e. pigeons.
Neliot: A gay Eliot.
Fasao: If you want to sell something, it's fasao.
Amind: A terrible thing to waste.
Amindu: A country where amind is wasted, terribly.
Mtvr: 1. What you say when you want someone to stop talking.
2. What you say when someone's socks don't match.
Trwr: The gesture used with a mtvr.
Bnips: The plural of bnip, which is a circumstance in which a rodent is gnawing on a reptile, such as a ferret on a turtle.
Aidatl: An opera about a pterodactyl by Giuseppe Spumoni.
Aidatle: A fan of Aidatl.
Zonua: Severe inflammation of the zone.
Gluhioc: A canoe made out of marhmellow peeps.
Ac: Short for acromenophobiam the fear of Q-tips.
Vibui: A tribal dance of fluxuating nationality.
Yke: A European hiccup.
Jef: Easy moms choose Jef.
Esmeg: A severe lack of potatoes.
Ryeng: The process of making white bread into rye.
Hoet: A little ho.
Ohoet: A little ho from Ohio.
Ido: A microscopic particle.
Wardn: What people with E deficiencies call the Warden.

12/11

Katie's Room

"He plays the frisbee." -- Andrew

(With disdain)
Katie: Jews.
Andrew: Heterosexuals.

12/12

Online

"I'm still trying to kick this Martian death cold." -- Kelly
"If you ever take your turtle for a walk, you'd have to wear one of those 'I'm with stupid' T-shirts." -- Disuhan


The Tenor Dinner, at Our House

"What if I touch myself, will it work then?" -- Christian, playing with our touch-sensitive lamp.

12/13

On the phone

Andrew: I'm looking at this birdhouse, wondering what I'm going to do with it.
Sara: Put it in your SOUL.

Andrew: So many cool people live in New Jersey. It's a shame.
Sara: I wonder what they did in their last life.


"Wholesome" Family Fun Night, at Our House

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. That's our refridgerator. Well, mostly blue and old things." -- Betsy
"I'd rather be a miserable wench than a rat fucker!!" -- Bryanna, to Adam JD
"His name is Alfred. That's A, as in Alfred ..." -- Bryanna
"Her name is now Lasquesha." -- Kevin
"I've never had a vagina to call my own." -- Kevin
"Fuck you, analog!" -- Sara, having difficulties
"Sometimes she laughs more, and that means her breasts are bigger." -- Andrew, about Abby cherading
"I hate it when I get chocolate on my toe." -- Andrew

12/15

The Ice Skating "PAVILION"

"You've got this big bone in your pants!" -- Mary, sitting on Pat's lap.
"You're scarier than you look." -- Mary, to Andrew

Mary: These sneakers are like ... clouds!
Louise: Do you TRY and say dumb things?


Madison Street, on the way to see Peter Pan

Andrew: My voice carries.
Sara: No, that's Syracuse. Syracuse takes your voice and runs away with it.

"I am the Swiss Army knife of friends." -- Sara

12/16

On the phone

"That's pretty clean for something that comes out of my mouth." -- Abby
"I hate it when I get down to my last row of Snoods and then it dies! Fuckity fuck!" -- Sara


Dinner at the Guiling Estate (Kelly's apartment)

Kelly: You're goin' down!
Dave Kelch: We already are down!

12/17

Lombard St.

"It's this place where you're no longer in any country. You're just ... on Earth!" -- Bekah, about the demilitarized zone between the U.S. and Canada
"This is a road. And that is in fact a trash can." -- Bekah, being obvious a la Gina.

12/18

The Olive Garden

Andrew: You can be Miskanke or Micacel.
AdamJD: You can be MY skank.

"Goodbye! You're on planet Sirius ... with Stockhausen!" -- What Mike would do to people he doesn't like if he had the power to manipulate matter.


Things Betsy got for her birthday

Birthday Parking Spot (right by the entrance to the Olive Garden)
Birthday Kinyatta (we randomly ran into him at the Olive Garden)
Birthday Comfort (she wasn't feeling as ill as she had been)
Birthday Ability to Eat (she could swallow without pain)
Birthday Doors (the doors at Petco were automatic)
Birthday Not-Getting-Run-Over-by-a-Buick (self-explanatory)
Birthday Green Light (the traffic gods were smiling on us)
Birthday Make-Your-Own-Speed-Limit (There were no signs indicating otherwise)


12/19

The Carousel Mall

"A large stick would facilitate the process." -- Alyssa


E-mail

"No, its not shopping; its spirited browsing and buying in a cuter setting." -- Kathleen, about Quincy Market

12/20

Our House

"Whose idea was it to put the Great Lakes so close to Syracuse?" -- Betsy


Rochester

"Have a good ... are you Jewish? ... Chanukah!" -- Erin McSomething

12/21

Happy Birthday Kathleen!

Ben: So are you going Kosher now too?
Sara: Baby steps.
"I'm not like, insta-Jew." -- Sara

12/23

Happy Birthday Erika, but I was in Killington

"It's like talking to monkeys." -- Lauren (Andrew's sister)

12/24

One of the Killington Gondolas

"Usually it has bumps the size of Volkswagens." -- Andrew's dad, about Outer Limits

Bear Trap + Bear Claw = Bear Crap
Two trails on Bear Mountain

12/25

Merry Christmas, but I was in Killington

Andrew's Dad: Could you zip my jacket up all the way for me?
Andrew: Okay.
Andrew's Dad: fuhf mrfr.
Andrew: You're welcome.


The Best Diner, Manchester VT

"She wants to major in Eastern Phisiology." -- Lauren, trying to say Eastern Philosophy


Online

"No matter how much you chop the mountains down, they keep growing back." -- Kathleen, and yup, it's still funny.
"He looked like Superman, until he landed." -- Matt, about his brother skiing.

12/26

E-mail

"Happy big long Jewish word beginning with H that I can't spell!" -- Amanda McCormick


Erika's House

Erika: You have to spread the good news of your lord Jesus! We're sisters in Christ!
Jennelle: You are a confused Jew, go to sleep.

12/27

Sara's House

"All this talk about testicles is making me hungry!" -- Sara's mom
"I should have known it had nothing to do with feeding birds." -- Sara's mom, about the birdhouse for Erika's soul.
"The first one to score wins. It's just like life." -- Sara


Andrew's House, oh screw it, MY House

"I don't think you're talking." -- Kathleen, not understanding Disuhan.
"We blow funky chickens!" -- Disuhan, um, yeah.

12/28

Hoter's Lair

"[You can E-mail me] at www.Idon'thaveacellphoneorabeeper.com/Idon'tgiveacrap." -- Tompy

Disuhan: I want to go back to school. I miss my boyfriend.
Andrew: You have a boyfriend?
Disuhan: Not at all.

"Yesterday I was a three-year-old, but today I'm just a lazy bitch." -- Kathleen
"Why don't ya laugh a little with that food in your mouth? Maybe it'll fall out and we'll all have a taste." -- Hoter

12/29

Erika's House

"I didn't know if I was speaking a foreign language or baking a cake." -- Erika's 6th grade experience.


Online

Tompy: I forgot about that semi-permeable door that he has.
Andrew: He's like a cell membrane!
Tompy: Minus the brain.
Andrew: No, he's all brain. He's Krang!

12/30

On the phone

"I've invented this meal, I think I'll call it 'dinner,' and I'll use it to distract him!" -- Sara
"I felt this strange urge to be artistic on an appendage." -- Sara and I have psychic feet.

12/25

Two years later, we're back at Ben's House

"For the most dick, turn to Channel 7." -- Tompy

(The rest of this evening's quotes happened after the ball dropped)