12/2 - Flint Main Desk, Meggen's Room

"I'm glad my washer's scoring. Too bad I'm not!" -- Cameron
"I eat babies, still want to play Scrabble with me?" -- Andrew, to Meggen
"Well, Meredith eats large, old women!" -- Andrew

"I'm in a foreign country, let's play Scrabble!" -- Rachel, making fun of Meggen
"Opakinde, that's Oprah's real name." -- Meggen

12/3 - Flint 2C Lounge, Main Desk

"Nice grab." -- Lauren Maynes (first quote!)
"When the penis is happy, he stands up tall and proud." -- Ilana Kramer (first quote!)

"My residents are crafting a penis in our lounge." -- Andrew

12/4 - Flint Main Desk

Elif: It's gotten cold in here.
Andrew: Maybe there's a dead person in here.
Elif: (freaks out)

12/6 - Flint Main Desk, Lauren & Ilana's Room, E-mail

"I'm not mean, I'm playful." -- Shanell

"I can't go with only one testicle!" -- Ilana
"You have to entice people ... with your sexy ways ... and your penis." -- Andrew

"I now can say 'Hi fuckface,' 'Go to hell, dirty bitch,' 'Eat shit and die,' 'Masturbate in my coffee,' and 'Fuck you and the horse you rode in on,' all without ever opening my mouth!" -- Suzanne, on her newfound proficiency in sign language.

12/7 - Music Office

"I am off, like a herd of turtles!" -- Hillarie Stevens (first quote!)

12/8 - Third Floor of Crouse

"That performance was just divine! And I'm not just saying that because your last name is Devine." -- Andrew, to Tami Devine

12/9 - The Basement of Crouse, Eggers Cafe

"Write a duet for one piccolo." -- Katie Apple
"We have to make a game that won't get banned immediately." -- Katie
"I think that skirt is simply divine. And I'm not just saying that because your last name is Devine." -- Andrew, once again, to Tami Devine.

"Sarah McGlockenspiel?" -- Katie

12/10 -- The Dome, Alyssa's Room

"I want one!" -- Matt, referring to Dome Stomping

"PenguiTURTLES!" -- Andrew

12/11 -- Flint Main Desk, Clarice & Cricket's Room, Aladdin's, Madison St., Shaw

"Let me see if I can take off his head." -- Lauchlin

"Sit on my things ... and tell me that you love me!" -- Clarice
Cricket: Are you having mischievous thoughts again?
Gavin: Always.
"They eat my house; I eat them." -- Gavin, referring to carpenter ants (see 10/12).

Andrew: That's where they sucked out my ear!
Cricket: That's where the ear suckers live!

"I don't want to work here anymore. These people keep yelling at me. I was like, 'You have enough rugelach (sp), go home!'" -- Cheri
"She has prehensile breasts!" -- Alyssa
"That's what you get for not wearing accoutrements." -- Alyssa

12/12 - Flint Main Desk

"I have been awake for 33 consecutive hours and done absolutely nothing productive!" Andrew then hits a bullseye on the dart board "Well that was productive!"

12/13 - Flint Main Desk

"Can I have ten bottles of water and ten orange juices? ... no, that's it." -- Cassy

12/15 - Flint Main Desk

"If she's old enough to sign a contract, she's old enough to be in my mailbox." -- Tim

12/17 -- Kimmel Food Court, Flint Main Desk

"That doesn't make you a part of their news team, it makes you a pawn in their little game!" -- Alyssa

"...innovative - oh! Core value." -- Meggen, reading a magazine
"Meggen is a nymphosomnabulist." -- Andrew
"Me go pee pee in your Coke." -- Rachel, to some poor unsuspecting Boland resident
"My ass goes there, where your foot is." -- Andrew
"This is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard." -- Cassy, referring to the silence

12/20 - Flint Main Desk

"I can touch you in many more ways." -- Elif, to Cameron
"Back in the day ... of the Pony Express!" -- Cindy, playing Taboo

12/21 -- Online, Radio, Flint Main Desk, Toy Story 2, Meredith's Car, Flint Hall Lobby

"Now the Luk is on fire, and so are her CDs!" -- Kathleen, having just gotten a CD burner

"After all, this is radio where anything is possible!" -- Radio

"Lauchlin built a great sense of community among his residents this semester by having sex with all of them." -- Cindy

"I'm packing an extra pair of shoes and your angry eyes, in case you need them." -- Mrs. Potato Head
"What?! Are you shrinkwrapped?" -- Woody

Tim: Oh no! All the turns are right now!
Cassy: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

"Pet the monkey, it'll be all right." -- Cameron

12/22 -- Online

"Don't be smart with me, I said adagio con brio, Mister." -- Kate Regan
"I don't have a low tolerance, I'm just efficient." -- Andrew

12/23 -- Michael's, Adam's Car, Andrew's House

"It's a specialty store. They specialize in ripping you off." -- Adam

"If I had a decongestant, that would be glorious." -- Matt

"You go in the middle, 'cause you're different." -- Alex

12/24 -- Erika's House

"Come here, Adam. I want to kick you in the crotch." -- Erika
"There is not one, not one cake that is not on the plate! ... oh, wait." -- Stephanie
"I like you.... You smell!" -- Stephanie (to two different people)
"Spank 'n' Style Ken.", "Singapore Ken." -- Erika's aliases for her Shave 'n' Style Ken doll.
"How is hot air different from Adam's normal defense?" -- Andrew

12/25 -- Andrew's House, Adam's House

"Matt lost his nipple too." -- Andrew
"I have to go stick my foot in your sink now." -- Sue

"I'm putting my hair up, he's petting my arm, and I've got William Shatner all over me." -- Jen
"Now you're blowing Fran Drescher ... Madeline Albright, we've got a party going on here!" -- Jen
"I'm like a one woman petting zoo ... take me!" -- Jen
"Here's where I become moral." -- Lauren

12/26 -- Adam's House, maybe

"I'm rediscovering my center of gravity." -- Erika


12/27 -- Lauren's car, and various places around Commack

"Nothing like a vicious boob." -- Jen
"My pants are still drying from that one." -- Christine
Andrew: But those are an odd shape.
Jen: So is Adam, HA!
"She's the handless hoter." -- Jen

12/28 -- Andrew's dad's office, Alex's House, email

"They're playing your song." -- Greg, to Jeralyn, in reference to the ringing phone
"I have to go do those Y2K patches now, nothing big." -- Kurt

"'You only get one ring.'" -- Adam, pretending to be Christine's parents
"It is illegal in some countries to hate people as much as I hate you right now." -- Jen

"Vicks is THICK. They should call it THICKS." -- Kathleen

12/29 -- Adam's house

"TWheel of Fortune! No! Turn it off before I get stupid!" -- Erika
Matt: Gary, please stop squeaking.
Gary: It's soothing.
Matt: It sounds like dying seagulls.
Gary: Yes.
"It's shiny! You can wear it to my New Years Party!" -- Kathleen, several times throughout the night.
"It's a good thing we're at Adam's house which is devoid of anything useful." -- Andrew (sorry Adam)

12/31 -- Matt's House

"I wish my brother would stop eating household appliances." -- Matt
Matt: Where's the vacuum?
Bradley: I ate it.
"Since you breathed into the bag, we're not only spreading holiday cheer, but your disease!" -- Adam