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February
2/2
Emails (from "The capital of Somalia is Mogadishu" series)
"My webpage ... it's getting a facelift ... don't look now! It's in that icky, I've got a cucumber mask on phase." -- Kathleen
"Don't comment on the life cycle of the giraffe, that's my trademark, bitch." -- Kim
2/4
Andrew's Room (in Flint)
"I get snotty when I clean." -- Cassy
2/7
Crouse
"I have to buy her a car." -- McKenzie Field (first quote) about Krista who played in a lot of pieces in her recital
2/8
Flint Classroom, Staff Meeting
"Oh my G-d, Meggen brought her gas." -- Rosie
"Speaking of sprinklers ... how about a CAB report?" -- Ryan
"Apparently, someone else has 100% and it's larger." -- Rachel
2/9
Crouse
"They're friendship flats!" -- Katie (referring to souble flats)
"Don't be afraid of the non-existent chord. It can't hurt you 'cause it doesn't exist!" -- Katie
Andrew: Your quotes come in clumps.
Katie: I'm just a clumpy quoter.
Mercedes' Composition Recital
"Please stop me if this takes too long." -- Mercedes Delgado (first quote) before she began her final piano improvisation of uncertain length.
2/11
Electronic Music Lab
"We mean no harm to your planet. We mean no harm to your planet..." -- Dr. Long, showing us how to use the analog synth to communicate with extra-terrestrials.
2/12
On I-81 in a cab
"Watch that lane yer turnin' into there, slim pickins." -- Our cab driver.
"Some bitch!" -- Our funny cab driver
"Thank you, you big, fat, smelly sardine." -- Our scary cab driver.
Online
"Since I met Ian, I've used almost a whole tube [of toothpaste]." -- Katie.
2/13
Hall of Languages, Phi Sig meeting
"Not everyone sticks out like a three and a half foot penis." -- Veronika Levine (first quote)
Flint 1C Lounge
Lizzie: Shut the fuck up.
Cameron: Could you hand me that fuck? I have to shut it up.
2/14
Electronic Music Studio
"Inside, someone's EKG is flatlining, and the maid who killed him is playing lounge music." -- Dr. Long
Music Office
"So that night I went back to my room and wrote a song called 'Give Up.'" -- Katie.
2/16
Email
"Homework?
What's that?
10 page papers?
Oh, now you're talking.
." -- Lauren
In a chatroom
"I'm an ass! My friends call me Jack." -- Jared Pellegrini (First Quote)
2/18
Eggers
"There are more chickens than people in Delaware." -- Jessica Kuhlman
"Delaware ... three counties!" -- Jessica Kuhlman
The Atonal Avenger (Kelly) vs. The Tonalitarian (Adam)
Andrew: You're nothing without the holy salt!
Kelly: It's the salt of atonality and it touched his fingers!
"I am the Tonalitarian and everyone shall do my tonal bidding!" -- The Tonalitarian
"As the Tonalitarian, I demand reform in tonal harmony!" -- The Tonalitarian
Rochester
Cherise: He's gonna make me look like an awful...
Beth: But you're not an awful. (first quote)
"I'm hearing the voice of Papa John himself!" -- Gary
"That's making E-bay this giant pimp." -- Amanda Loiselle (First Quote)
"I want to be an alcohol." -- Amanda
Matt: I told her to bite me.
Andrew: Why?
Matt: Because that is what I wish her to do.
Thomas: You know those things in chemistry that can be used as bongs?
Gary: Everything?
2/19
Rochester
"Funny things lurk around the corner waiting for the quotebook not to be looking." -- Gary
"I believe it was Elm Farm Ellie herself who once said, 'Moo.'" -- The Yellow Jackets
"I don't have an inflection and even if I did, it wouldn't be a contagious inflection. No wait, it would be contagious and you would catch it and swell and turn purple and DIE!" -- Amanda
"Tobacco's not wacko when you're 20." -- Amanda
"San Francisco doesn't have a lot of gay people. It's just the city itself is gay." -- Gary
2/20
On the Phone
"We went into 17 different stores, none of which were my house." -- Sara
2/22
Outside Flint, admiring the sun
"I was starting to think it was something I dreamed up a long time ago, but look! There it is!" -- Shanell
Flint Classroom
Khristian: I take credit when it's my own.
Shanell: And anybody else's if they're not looking.
2/23
Eggers
"I'm seeing someone, his name is Film." -- Alyssa
2/25
Music History
"With no effort at all, one imagines a jazz dance hall next to a poultry yard." -- A critic describing Copland's Piano Concerto
2/27
Mike's Recital
"You guys stop at the birth of Christ, right? I can't say I blam you." -- Bekah
2/28
Theory
Julia: Why don't you just bang on the keyboard with your feet?
Dr. Long: Sometimes you do.
Crouse and Schine
"Must you try to unclothe me in the hall?" -- Katie
"Quit playin games with my stomach." -- Katie
"I just HAVE to feel someone's ass now!" -- Adam
"Cynicism ain't just a river in Egypt." -- Katie
"We already have an Adam ass-grabbing quote for today. Grab some ass tomorrow and I'll document it." -- Andrew
"Quotes make me happy." -- Katie
Khristian's Answering Machine Message
"You see, I am from a primitive culture where men hunt, women gather, and answering machines DON'T RECORD THE TIME." -- Khristian
An Email from Kathleen
"This paper is not bullshit, this paper is pee." -- Kathleen
"I'm not Seinfeld but what the HELL is with the word RELISH! It's a weird food for HOT DOGS to experience. EW. Sorry but EW." -- Kathleen
Flint Main Lounge
"The diarrhea hit the oscillating fan." -- Meggen
"Can I write 'fuck' on this wall? Can I write "mother fucker?'" -- Meggen
2/29
Flint 1C Lounge
James(1C resident): You're like a father to me.
Cameron: You are the fart I never wanted.