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January '02
Quote of the Month
"Excuse me, Alice? The Mad Hatter's looking for you. He wants you to attend a tea party." -- Dana, 1/23
1/1
Matt's house (the New Years party, cont'd)
"I don't even know how to begin to complain about this!" -- Skirky
"Cats are dead. Cats are dead. Curiosity! MROWR!" -- Kathleen
"Mahogany is a type of wood, and hogmanany is a type of man-pig?" -- Kathleen, playing Sagarian (Hogmanany is actually the last day of the year in Scotland)
"France ... Merlin. France ... Merlin. France ... Merlin (ad nauseum). France ...... Bradley! France ... Bradley." -- Kathleen, seeing if Merlin (Matt's dog) would answer to any name, and then trying it out on Matt's brother.
"I do not respond to France." -- Bradley
1/2
The Smithhaven Mall
"She gets so mad. Like, I've never seen a Black person turn red." -- Skirky, who is not normally so politically incorrect :)
Andrew: Wear our clothes and you can look like this!
Skirky: Your head and arms will fall off if you wear our clothes.
1/4
Chili's in (East) Northport
"Try it, it's good. I put my finger in it." -- Disuhan
"Our waitress has this look in her eyes like ... she wants to find ... an axe." -- Sara, and it's true, she did.
"Can we go? We have nipples!" -- Hoter
The Tompymobile
Andrew: Why are you screaming?
Sara: She's always screaming. She has two volumes, screaming and screaming loudly.
Disuhan: It is like, wenchtastic in here.
Tompy: What, hot or cold?
Disuhan: Hot.
1/5
Macy's in Manhattan, THE BIGGEST STORE IN THE WORLD!!!
"I'm a sundial." -- Becky, Racquel's friend, who knew what time it was without a watch.
1/6
The Bermatorium
"I hope that kiss works like Rogaine." -- Andrew, after Disuhan kissed him on the head.
1/7
Email
"The students I have now are MAJOR slackers but they give me fashion tips so I can’t stay mad at them." -- Khristian
Yargahat's livejournnoi
"I don't like having to spend time doing things. I just usually want them done." -- Margaret
1/8
Bermatorium
"I feel like I'm in the Cirque du Soleil." -- Tompy, as Disuhan and Andrew climbed on her and poked her.
Disuhan: Look at how big my bruises are now.
Hoter: I'm telling you, go to the pet store!
Hoter: This is my domain.
Tompy: Your domain is coming out of that shirt.
"All shit leads to my ass." -- Tompy
"Aces, yes, eat, the, head, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" -- Disuhan, reading off the words she spelled in "Pick Two."
"Her break is the same as ours. It's the one the week before ours." -- Disuhan
1/9
Suigetsu Dojo
"Yes, Sempai. Actually no, I just wanted to call you Sempai one last time." -- Gary Elgort
"Don't count your Senseis before they hatch." -- Andrew Giusto
"Let's make water." -- Disuhan, referring to the cleaning solution
The Bermatorium
Sue: He has a livejournal.
Andrew: Ooh!
Sue: See? He's perfect!
Sue: Afghanistan?
Andrew: No, it's Brazil.
Sue: Oh! Of course it's fucking Brazil!
"If you want Suzanne, you're gonna have to go very far up Rich's ass, because that's where she lives now." -- Sue
"Cum of twenty men, let's go!" -- Hoter, utilizing our new phrase.
"Do you watch ... TV?" -- Disuhan, unable to thing of the name "Grounded for Life."
1/10
Online
"I just have to say, after driving through it, that Tennessee is quite a lovely state. I take back what I said about throwing it into the sun and all. Arkansas, however, is still shit. Thank you." -- Spammy
1/12
Behind the Dojo
"Good idea: breaking into a car. Bad idea: breaking into a car behind a dojo." -- Sara
Not Club Windstar
"It isn't easy being a plane." -- Matt
Andrew: She's a conversation piece.
Matt: The kind of person you'd want on your coffee table. Except you'd have to keep asking her to sit still.
1/13
Betsy Mike's
"No no no no no! I can't watch!" -- Betsy, as Mike poured sugar into a liquid measuring cup.
online
"I'm shootin the shit with a designer! SHOOTING SHIT! Dead shit! Shit is dead!" -- Kathleen
1/14
Marshall Square Mall
"It's a JenGa of chinchillas!" -- Andrew, inventing a collective noun.
The place
Cricket: I like the outside of the oreo, just not the inside.
Kelly: The entire oreo offends me.
online
"I LOVE horrible weather! On TV." -- Kathleen
1/15
The place
"I can sit on my fat ass all day! I could go to Wegmans, EIGHT TIMES! I could do fifty-two loads of laundry!" -- Kelly, with Fridays off
1/17
Kimmel
"They're friendly ass kicks. Just a gentle nudge in the right direction ... with my foot ... on their ass." -- Sara's plans for VP.
"With ice skates, so then they have a bloody ass, but at least they'll be in the right direction." -- Smappy, adding.
"That was your ass kicking, see? Was that painful? I didn't even touch you." -- Sara, to Benny.
The school where Cricket student teaches
"Don't say 'fuck' to the second graders. It really pisses off their parents." -- Deb Dahlin, Cricket's teacher teacher (submitted by Cricket).
online
Andrew: Thank you for your help.
Jess Cohen: No prob Bob, ... well back to drinking.
"I wonder if the NSA has had to learn Bglowslieth to make sure we're not doing bad things." -- Kathleen
1/18
Not Club Windstar
"When G-d created me, He said, 'There is to be no singing.'" -- Holly
Trexx
Andrew: I wonder if it's proportional.
Kim Van Dyke: Oh MY .... Ouch.
(discussing a very tall man)
1/19
online
"Mysery loves company ... of Ts." -- Kathleen, on Andrew's typo.
1/20
Kimmel, I think
"Imagine if there was a Russian in the Navy. Brenda would explode!" -- Sara
Crouse
"We even pee in tune." -- Debbie Silliman, as the Mandarins all went to the bathroom together.
The place
"I'm an altoprano: all of the notes, none of the ego. I don't think I'm the shit, but I'll prove it to you." -- Kelly
"Mmmm ... crack." -- Adam
1/21
Online
"Categories with stars next to them contain new quotes. Maybe." -- Dan Lerner, on the Delta Alpha quote page.
Andrew: I had a question for you, but now it's gone.
Smatt: Well, the answer is C. Or false if it's one of THOSE questions.
"It is one thing to mingle with people when you are conscious, but it is quite another to mingle with people ... when you are unconscious." -- Holly
"I won't ask you to be THAT kind of gay guy today." -- Bryanna, after she asked me for hair advice and I told her to dye it blue.
"To whom it may concern: Sara can spell." -- Sara
H&M, after visiting Victoria's Secret
Andrew: I derive neither customer satifsaction nor arousal from women's underwear.
Bethy: For me, it's just too much pink in one concentrated area.
The place
"I LOVE what Jennifer has done with him." -- Kelly, about Brad Pitt
1/23
Crouse: 20th Century Music Analysis
Liu: What this called?
Dan Reitz: No clue.
Liu: I have clue for you.
"I'm Chinese, you know." -- Liu (whose nationality is quite common knowledge)
Scrabble in Eggers
"If you had MY brain, you'd know where to go." -- Amanda, to Adam
"Adam is now in the lead even though he cannot count. In second place is Amanda who can't spell." -- Andrew, losing at Scrabble
Barb's Office
"Did I imagine that hat? Was he serious?" -- Andrew, as a man in a huge grey top hat exited the office.
"Excuse me, Alice? The Mad Hatter's looking for you. He wants you to attend a tea party." -- Dana
1/24
Crouse, reflecting on Simeon's memorial
Jess Helie: Just think about how many times the word "love" was spoken.
Dr. Downing: And "women."
1/25
The place, watching CABLE!
"Get that poor rabbit some damn cereal." -- Kelly
Hope's Music History class
"There's nothing more romantic than two people screaming at each other in german." -- John Johnson, on Wagner's "Tristan und Isolde"
email from Meredith
"Okay, gotta go learn about the brain or something!" -- Meredith
1/26
The place
"I never watched 'Deep Space Nine.' I couldn't get into it. I'm like 'The ship doesn't move!'" -- Kelly
1/27
The kitchen
"Not at the boobies! I charge for that." -- Clarice
1/30
Online
"OY! And to think Ben is 21." -- Tompy
1/31
Kimmel
JenGa: I make no sense!
Andrew: We know this.
JenGa: But now you have it in writing!