July '02

Quote of the Month
"What is there to do on Long Island? Except smoke pot and be hooches?" -- Kathleen, 7/6


7/1

Bonds, Caz, Sueha, and Regina's place in the Bronx

"I went away!" -- Caz, after I put a blanket over her head.
"I'm all gone now!" -- Caz, after I completely covered her with the blanket.

7/5

Suigetsu Dojo

Drew: Great class, Sempai!
Art: Thanks. Stop by anytime.

Kathleen's house?

"Excuse me, but hold all my calls, you woman." -- Hoter, playing Taboo (the word was "secretary")

7/6

Mario's Pizza

"What is there to do on Long Island? Except smoke pot and be hooches?" -- Kathleen

Kathleen: I know what we can do! Let's buy a 24 pack of beer and sell it to minors for $5 a can!
Alana: Why would we do that when we could drink perfectly good beer?

"This is like angry, emotional, frat boy Michael Bolton." -- Alana, on Nickelback

Andrew: Who sings this song?
Alana: I don't know, the change band.

7/7

The Heartland mini golf

Racquel: Just letting you know, if I don't like [work], I'll be bitchin when I get home.
James: That's all right. There's plenty of wine in your house.

Andrew: Are there trains in England?
James: Only on Tuesdays.

Xando

Ben: I update my Livejournal once a month.
Hoter: Who gave YOU a code?

"You're not codeworthy." -- Andrew and Hoter

7/9

online

Margaret: ... my head.
Andrew: What a place.
Margaret: It's nice sometimes. I mean, considering I often think about naked men, you might enjoy it.
Andrew: You head is a strip club!

7/10

The Bermatorium

"Your couch is a klepto." -- Hoter, who found things in my couch she left there last time.

Hoter: Brady Black was in my dream.
Disuhan: I drowned TWICE last night.

"I am Frank Lloyd Quench." -- Disu. I don't remember why, but it came form Taboo.

7/12

Here again (Bermatorium)

"Dan has Abercrombie plumage." -- Sara, on her boyfriend, who is a duck.
"What's this crap?" -- what Sara imagined the discoverers of West Virginia said.

Andrew: Joe's from Rhode Island?
Sara: Joe's like, the PRESIDENT of Rhode Island!

"You didn't put green? How not Sara of you." -- Disuhan

7/13

Borders

"Attention Borders customers: It is now 11:02 and Borders Books, Music, Periodicals, and Cafe has now been closed for two minutes. There is a vanishingly small window of opportunity to make any final purchases you may desire...." -- Rich, over the PA

Here

"I'm cheerleading on your face!" -- Kathleen, dusting Disuhan with a pompon.

7/14

Borders

"Attention Borders customers: It is now 9:03 and Borders Books, Music, Periodicals, and Cafe has been closed for three minutes ... We will be open again tomorrow, we promise, at 10am...." -- Paige, over the PA

7/17

Katie Raffaelli's beautifully luxurious house in Alexandria, VA

Katie: My dad's always like, "I don't own stock in the electric company."
Sara: He must own stock in something.

7/18

Katie's luxuriously beautiful house in Alexandria, VA

Sara: I'm not leaving until you wake up ... so I will dance for you! (dancing ensues)
Andrew: Oh my G-d, I'm so awake now.

Grand Chapter at U of Tenn: Regional Rage

Helen (BN): Hi, this is Helen from the north east.
Seth (BE): Hi, this is ... someone from somewhere that's not the north east!

7/19

Grand Chapter: business....

"Yeah, you can boo. Whatever." -- Britt Marder, acting chair.
"I feel like a drive-thru window. Don't take that in any other way." -- Tammy Mleziva
"Do I have to recognize you? Cuz I don't." -- Britt's take on being chair.
"I've been naughty miss teacher!" -- Mike Noll, to Tammy's roll call.

Britt: Who drank Josh?
Kara: (raises her hand)
Britt: It's good stuff, isn't it?

"You mean we can do any National Council member we want?" -- Helen, about pieing-in-the-face

Placards omitted. I'm leaving them out because there are just SO MANY of them, and they're not really funny to anyone who wasn't there. Look for them on the up and coming Phi Sigma Pi quote page!

Andrew: Where did Louise and Shay go?
Emalie: They've been swallowed.

"What do you call it when everyone gets up and does a square dance for five minutes? A western caucus." -- Andrew
"Noll with an 'N,' not a 'K.' He's not grassy ... not that we know of." -- Emalie.

7/20

Grand Chapter: more business....

"Point of whatever." -- A person in the front row with an incomplete grasp on Roberts Rules.

Placard: Motion to get Freshboy a seatbelt.
Mike Surasky: And a muzzle.

Freshboy: I lost my muzzle so I'm going to speak now.
Some guy: Found it!

"I have a question, do alumni become incompetent when the graduate?" -- Someone, on the issue of alumni chapters getting the vote.
"I move that National Council be required to create and enforce a matchmaking service for brothers." -- Shay
"He sweats a lot. I mean, I sweat too, it's okay." -- Someone offering a pro for one of the candidates.

7/21

Grand Chapter: you guessed it.

"We work really hard to bring back our alumni. There's a cow in the audience." -- Amy Kusisto Karaban, giving her speech.

Club Thing: The car ride from Knoxville TN to Commack NY

"Fine. We don't want to talk to you anyway." -- I don't remember who said this, or why I wrote it down.
"I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for caffeine and crack!" -- Sara

Louise: Some of us are observant.
Andrew: Others of us are Shay.

Louise: Do you always act like a twit?
Shay: Is that different than twat?
Louise, Andrew, and Sara: YES.

"I didn't think past the thwap." -- Shay, not thinking ahead.

Louise: Delaware.
Shay: Get a real state!

7/22

La Casa Disuhanita

"Apparently, I'm a big pit." -- Louise, not quite a bottomless pit.

Louise: Does it tell you if you put it in the wrong place?
Matt: Oh, I thought we were still talking about sex.

"Everyone grab something hard." -- Disu
"In the land down under, fuck you!" -- Kathleen, realizing she was about to read Disuhan a question about animals.

7/23

Canasta @ the Sluice

Matt: I call her Alex.
Hoter: I ignore him.

Matt: I'm still boinking you.
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHHAHA
Matt: I'll plink next time. It's safer.

Ben: That's only six.
Matt: It's seven, if you're Lauren.

online

"Laurens can't count and Grovemans can't spell." -- Kira's conclusions at the end of the evening

7/25

In a Beta Nu chatroom

"Oh no ... I've become an interchapter event!" -- Crystal, who had a little too much fun at Grand Chapter.

7/26

online

"I should've said, 'Excuse me, do you like boys? 'Cause I have a great one for you, and if you'll allow me to put you in a box and send you to Long Island, that'd be fabulous.'" -- Lusky

Here

"When you grow up, you'll learn about something called a midlife crisis, and then you'll understand why old women bleach their hair." -- Sensei Rebecca (aka Laura) explaining her hair color change to a young martial artist.

7/29

Here

"This is like a scary episode of Sesame Street! 'This episode has been brought to you by ... EVIL FOURTEEN!!.'" -- Kathleen, as I attacked her with the fourteen.

7/30

Borders

"I think Rich is under the impression I've done this before." -- Marci, after Rich asked her to show me how to clean the smoothie machine.

Suigetsu Dojo

"Grand theft sock is happening." -- Kira