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June '02
Quote of the Month
Kathleen: I want to be pregnant at the same time as you, [Disuhan].
Andrew: I want to be in another country when that happens.
(6/9)
6/1
online
"Once I was the King of Bored. Now I eat Tostitos and play video games." -- Dan's comment in my Livejournal
6/2
online
"I wish people would choke me more here." -- Kathleen, missing the Dojo
"Holy crap! Not only do I only have one personality, it's the youngest one here!" -- Alana, in a chatroom with 5 Kathleens, 4 Megs, and 3 mes.
Nisen
"It's shrimp past egg." -- Disuhan, telling time with a sushi clock.
Matt's House
"You can't have a Kit Kat, but you can have this mud!" -- Sara, on Matt trying to offer me something in place of a Kit Kat.
6/5
Outside Suzanne's house
Andrew: Have a good Greece.
Sue: Thanks, have a good America.
6/6
The Bermansion
"Don't do it! He's evil!" -- Disu, trying to give me advice during Blackjack
"Hey! I looked at you meanly when I said that." -- Disu, failing to communicate "no" to Matt.
6/7
Boston, outside in the cold
"Who turned off the June?" -- Kathleen
"Scarf rhymes with YARF! Did I say that?" -- Kathleen
6/8
Kathleen's apartment
Kathleen: If you could have food or sex right now, what would you pick?
Andrew: Food.
Disuhan: I would pick sex.
The NOOK, Au Bon Pain
"You have a George named Seth?" -- Andrew
"If I ever get a George, I'm gonna name him Seth, and he'll be like ... what?" -- Disuhan
Andrew: Guess my grandma's name.
Disuhan: Yentl.
Kathleen: She's SOUP!
Disuhan: That's Lentil.
The card store
"Did you say bicycle?" -- Kathleen, on the phone. Long story.
Scott and Muncus' apartment
"It's the Delta Shuttle. Ya just get on it." -- Kathleen, offering a slogan.
"I hate them! They are made up MUSTARD! I am KETCHUP! AAAARGH!" -- Kathleen, yelling at yellow people on TV.
Alana's car
"Why do you two both have blankets? I'm the froaen, bleeding invalid!" -- Disu
Disu: Get the fuck over there!
Kathleen: What fuck over where? There's no fuck over here!
6/9
Kathleen's apartment
"You should come to the restaurant at the T stop. We'll meet you there at time." -- Kathleen, being non-descript (as always)
Walking towards Scott's apartment
Kathleen: I want to be pregnant at the same time as you, [Disuhan].
Andrew: I want to be in another country when that happens.
Scott's apartment
Kathleen: We pee together.
Scott: Ew.
Kathleen: Not ON each other.
Scott: How close are you on your thing?
Kathleen: Oh, thing far.
5/9
Kevin Cash's apartment, over a game of Phase Ten
Andrew: This is what we should do at home when we're bored.
Kathleen: Play cards?
Andrew: No, take the money and run.
Kathleen's apartment
"I try not to look like a 5-year-old, by suffocating my stuffed animals." -- Kathleen, packing.
The Disumobile, en route to Long Island
"Nobody lives here, these are just people." -- Kathleen, on traffic in MAssachusetts
"Is Ohio Irish? or Polish? or something?" -- Kathleen
Disuhan: Ohio is not Polish.
Kathleen: Why not?
Disuhan: Because it's Ohio, not Poland.
"I don't think you're driving." -- Kathleen
McDonalds, at a rest stop along the Mass Pike
"Cheeseburger w/o cheese." -- Receipt from McDonalds, because hamburgers don't exist there.
6/13
The Dojo
"21? I've got underwear older than him." -- Drew Donner, on Matt's birthday
Donald: By the laws of physics, his fist should hurt as much as your chin.
Drew: By the laws of my chin it didn't work that way.
6/14
online
"Damn being 19! I shake my fist at this age." -- Alana
Alana: I have to get directions.
Andrew: Can I give you them?? Mwahahahah!
Alana: I was about to say sure ... but now you have scared me.
Matt's Birthday Party :)
"Sometime's I'd just give up and be like 'Forget it, my name's Aisha.'" -- Gina, recounting difficulty introducing herself to her Swahili friends because "Jina" means "name" in Swahili.
6/15
Andrew's Birthday Party :)
"I believe that was a fuck you on its way out." -- Hoter, deciphering.
Hoter: My aunt has Pick Two! My aunt has Pick Two!
Disuhan: That's nice. That's nice.
6/17
The Bermansion
"Matt introduced me to all his friends as 'Alex' and I was so confused because they kept saying my name!" -- Hoter
6/21
The Bermatorium
"Will the Wookiee to my left please be quiet." -- Disu, referring to Hoter
online
"I have to go to statistics. I'd rather be covered with paper cuts and then dipped in lemon juice." -- Tompy.
"Disuhoben, NJ." -- Kathleen, likening a conglomerate of Crackfiends to a New Jersey town.
"I want to be on another PLANET if that happens." -- Sara (see an earlier quote about pregnancy).
6/22
Jillians, Farmingdale NY
"I cannot wait 'til I have children that I can bitchslap when they ask me if we can go now." -- Disu, exhibiting the motherly instincts of Dana Wise :)
"Alcohol is the opposite of children." -- Disu, inspired by me.
6/23
Sluiceland
"Today I got the 'When are you moving out,' 'When are you finishing school,' 'When are you getting married,' 'When are you having children,' from ALL my drunk uncles." -- Heather
"Germany! IT's like Epcot, only REAL!" -- Kathleen
6/25
online
"Phi Sigma Pi is corrupting our driving records!" -- Liz Jones from Beta Nu, recounting how she and Herb both got speeding tickets on the way to Convention and I got one on the way to Alpha Beta.
"I think Mapquest is smoking some rare kind of crack ... but I think Yahoo is on heavier drugs." -- Andrew, on a major discrepency between the the two services' responses to the same query.
"Mapquest: bringing new meaning to 'LOL.'" -- Liz
6/28
Alfredo's in Rockefeller Center
Kim: [My presents] all fit in an envelope!
Lindsay: "They're my toenails, happy birthday!"
Kim: I devirginized a man over red wine.
Lindsay: Well, congratulations, to both of you.
The Marriot Marquis (drool)
"Next time we get accosted on the street, let ME buy whatever they're selling." -- Lindsay, to Kim
"I can be stupid quickly." -- Kim, commending herself on her performance in "Fact or Crap."
6/29
Digging out Andrew's room and building furniture
"Let's give it to mom. She likes pillows and retainers." -- Dad
Dad: How often do you put a nail in?
Andrew: Personally, not very often.
Dad: Now he's a comedian.