"Always drive as though there's a turtle in your back seat." -- Eric Berman (Andrew's Dad), 1/13

"Heidi ho? Is that like a Swedish prostitute?" -- Dr. Downing, 2/23

"When you're conquering Europe, your embouchure goes to hell." -- Dr. Downing, about Frederick the Great, 3/19

"I'm not evil, I'm just nice with slightly colored morals." -- Kelly, 4/4

"I'm like, 'I'm drunk!' and you're like, 'They shot Bambi?'" -- Sara, 5/14

Andrew: (signed) Red door.
Sara: Good. I'm glad all the deaf kids hiding in the bushes know what we just walked through.

"Andrew would sit in his room and starve to death in a puddle of smell if we weren't there to tell him what to do." -- Sara, 7/17

Martine: It's a girl thing.
Andrew: But I'm gay.
Martine: That does not provide you with a vagina.
(7/21)

Dana: But you can be professionally single and just hook up with a lot of random guys.
Holly: No, then I'd be a professional slut.
(8/30)

"I finally realized last night that the person I'm deeply in love with doesn't give half a damn about me. Maybe one quarter of a damn at best. The amount of damn we give for each other is achingly unequal." -- Debi, 9/16

"Quintard. That's like, 'You're a retard, times five!'" -- Holly, 10/31

"Basically, what Bach is saying is, 'I am a contrapuntal mofo.'" -- Dr. Waggoner, 11/28

"A moustache looks like you're hiding something, but a goatee is like 'Oh, he partakes in facial hair.'" -- Katie, 12/4

Mom: So what have we learned on this trip?
Tracee: Don't try new things.
(12/24)