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September '00
Quote of the Month
"I have the memory of a small retarded squirrel." -- Toni Palmertree (first quote)
(9/8)
9/2
The New York State Fair
"That was the best twenty-five cents I've ever spent!" -- Sara, after using the Footsie Wootsie
Sign: Beef, it's what you want!
Andrew: Beef, just shut up and eat it!
Sara: Beef, There are starving children in India!
Online with Gina
"The secret is disinterest and obnoxiousness with a touch of rude." -- Gina's recipe for skeevy guy repellant.
"I want action for everyone." -- Gina
Carl's House
Khristian: I'm Khristian.
Michelle?: I'm Jewish!
9/3
Hall of Languages, Phi Sigma Pi meeting
"I think that's the happiest dough we've ever had!" -- Nate
Online
"I am the Grammar Whore." -- Disuhan
9/4
Marshall Street
"I wish I had Pop-Up Gaydar." -- Andrew
9/5
The Music Office
"You can buy George W. Bush water? Does it make you stupid?" -- Betsy (the scary part is you actually can buy George W. Bush water)
9/6
Crouse Lounge
Jess: You should take ballet.
Andrew: I don't want my movements to be regulated.
"Three Spanish Songs for Violin, Piano, and Lesbian Soprano." -- Working title for Andrew's composition in progress.
Our House
"As soon as I get the energy, I'm going to bed." -- Betsy
9/8
Music Office
"I have the memory of a small retarded squirrel." -- Toni Palmertree (first quote)
9/10
Online
Kathleen: Clemens rhymes with lemons!
Andrew: Let's write a poem about it!
Sara: There once was a man named Samuel Clemens. He had quite a penchant for lemons.
Andrew: He liked them better than canteloupe, and then he was killed by an antelope.
Sara: He ate them all up, he made them his sup, and soon he had nothing but grapes.
Andrew: Watch out for the Hoter, she rapes! When Hoter's around, one must find higher ground. If you can't find a mountain, go jump in a fountain!
"Amount of time spent on homework today: 7 minutes. Time spent playing Snood: about 7 hours." -- Sara, sounds about right.
9/12
Online
"Mathematics is the science of avoiding intercourse with women." -- Thespark.com
9/13
Music Office
Bryanna's excuse note for Jessica Kuhlman is simply too cool to be posted here. Send me a SASE if you want a copy. Believe me, it's worth it.
Online
"Would you like to discuss it or bury it far, far away? I have an ear and a shovel, your pick." -- Kelly, in one of the rare instances when she reminds me of Kathleen.
"Literati is much like Scrabble, in the way that a panda is a lot like a panda." -- Sara's away message.
9/14
Kimmel
"My name is George W. Bush and I'm against flowers, and puppies, ... and playgrounds..." -- Alyssa, in response to hearing that Bush is against Music Education
9/16
Online
"If you are not Andrew Berman, click here." -- Amazon.com being funny and scary at the same time.
Kelly's apartment
"Someone needs to tame Andrew's pants." -- Kelly
"I didn't want to send Andrew home without his pants." -- Kelly
9/18
Our House
"I'm going to festoon you!" -- Mike
Mike: I'm going to festoon a loon!
Andrew: With a spoon ... in June!
Mike: While wearing maroon ... shorts.
"Of course there are purple cows, that's where chocolate milk comes from ... I mean ... grape juice!" -- Andrew
9/19
Online, of course
"I can't PIG OUT, that wouldn't be Kosher." -- Ben
9/20
Our House
"You are slicker than snot on a doorknob!" -- Mike
9/21
Eggers Cafe
"If you don't like the weather in Syracuse, just wait a minute." -- Lisa Preziosi
9/25
Online
"Thinking about their parents having sex usually creeps people out. It doesn't bother me much as long as my parents aren't having sex with each other." -- Erika
Our House
"I need to go on a diet very, very tomorrow." -- Mike
"You can tell he's a freshman 'cause he still has school spirit." -- Betsy
9/26
Happy Birthday Adam (Slansky)!
Adam: It says nowhere in the Bible that we have to fast. It just says we have to practice self-denial.
Andrew: So what are you denying yourself?
Adam: Food.
Lost at Colgate University
"We're looking for something of a chapely persuasion." -- Jacquie Ritterbusch (First Quote!)
9/27
The music office
"I hate belts; they keep your pants on." -- Katie
Online
"Don't Bglowslieth me right now. I'm tired and stressed." -- Ben
Andrew: Kou've been quoted.
Ben: So I'm told, bglowslieth.
9/28
Eggers Cafe
"Berman's Barnyard Suite. Movement One: Sarabande for a prancing ewe." -- Kelly
9/29
Andrew's Car, somewhere between West Orange, NJ and Smithtown, NY
"Skittles are so therapeutic! I am tasting the rainbow right now!" -- Jennie Graziano (First Quote!)
9/30
House of the Unholy Hoter
"We're waiting for it to fall out of our mouths. No it is falling out of our mouths! We're waiting for it to fall out of our mouths and into our ears!" -- Sara
Andrew: Where are we?
Sara: Let's get pickles and leave!
Email
"I just want to touch base and see how everything is going with the various projects...maybe set some deadlines and workshop schedules for ourselves....and of course spend half of the meeting time fighting off the spastic dwarfed creatures that [have been] crashing our meetings lately." -- Nick Saponara (First Quote!)