Another Interview with David Burton

September 22, 2002

Introduction:

OK, let's get started. I've known David for, let's see now, 30 years? Yeah, I guess that's right. We went to college together, out in California, but let's not go there since I won't be revealing my identity and that was a really long time ago and nothing since, I mean everything that's happened since then, time and place, is so different that, well "it would be dumb."

-- laughs --

We haven't seen each other in let's see, maybe five years, maybe longer, since maybe a year after your wife died. Since maybe '95 or '96. You'd just moved into this house. You haven't changed much on the outside anyway, could loose a few maybe but you aren't fat, haven't changed a lot since we were in our 30's really. I guess it's all internal change, mostly. Anyway David, I read the first interview and have some of the material you gave me to include in this interview is in front of me and frankly I want to begin with some of my own impressions.

You apparently want the outside world to know more about you, but you have neglected to point out the most important basic thing about you, as if it doesn't matter and it really does. I mean after all if I hadn't driven over here to visit you, how would you have come to visit me unless someone drove you there or you got a taxi, bus or something? I mean you did get on a plane all right and we did meet at the airport, but I drove there and took you back to my place and drove you around. The point I'm making is that unless someone drove you there, you wouldn't have visited me, because you can't drive, never have and never will. You're legally blind. Now that's no fault of yours and you have accomplished a great deal in spite of it, worked in places I'd never be able to, maybe would never want to, done things I'm sure I wouldn't have had the chance to do. But the fact is, you have a disability that is there and is part of you and is not going to go away. I guess it's not getting any worse, doesn't seem like it. Is your eyesight about the same as it was a few years ago?

It hasn't changed. It's still about the same. It isn't getting worse.

Well David, you've always been very good about not being self-conscious about it. Most people who have known you a while forget that you can't really see, but you know it's a problem for you and others that always needs consideration. You really need to be with someone who loves to drive. That's hard to put in a personal ad, along with your other pretty specific requirements. You're really lucky in that you never have to be "the designated driver."

Well, it's not like I use that to my advantage.

-- laughs --

OK, well let's just get that one out there for a while. We'll probably come back to it. You asked me to fill in the blanks based on some stuff you put up in a personals website. Do you really think the next right woman for you is going to be on the internet? You know you were always such a unique character. We sometimes couldn't figure out how you managed to get married in the first place.

She was every bit as unique as me, but she had been married twice before. I was her number three.

You were her number one. I knew some women back in the old days that had a few traits in common with her, but you know there were women who were interested in you back then that you didn't even seem to notice and you paid far too much attention to those that didn't want to give you the time of day.

Yeah, well that was a long time ago. If they were too "goody goody" I knew I'd be bored real quick, but really considering who I finally met, I'm very glad nothing went very far with any of those women I chased back then. But that was 25 to 30 years ago. The way I met my late wife was sort of a miracle anyway, as you know.

Yeah, too bad she died. She was made for you.

Too bad you didn't get to know her really well. We were really soul mates, our unique relationship sort of proved that such a thing really exists, but we had our differences. We had a wonderful time when we weren't fighting that terrible business that eventually forced us to leave New York City.

Yeah David, there's no need to go there either.

Yeah, let's not. These days I just would like to have a fairly normal life, nice and quiet, creative, down to business.

Maybe some passionate lovemaking occasionally.

-- laughs --

Well, aside from your piano playing, which anyone should know is usually excellent, maybe awesome, especially your classical pieces, and actually you're better now than you were before, in my opinion...

Thank-you. But really compared with the talent that's out there that goes without the recognition it deserves, I'm barely a 3 on a scale of 10.

Oh you're much too modest, your Brahms is wonderful, as good as you used to play Bach, do you play much Bach anymore?

I may be playing more Bach again.

But anybody should know that you are pretty serious when in love with someone.

Well, that's true too. I just don't tend to give my heart as easily as I did when we were young.

Nobody does that anymore, David.

OK well, you were and are a person who people usually feel they can talk to, tell their deepest secrets to, share their most innermost thoughts. Didn't you think about doing clinical psych as a career or something?

Yeah, glad I didn't too. You know it's not everybody's innermost thoughts I need to hear, just the right someone's. I'd rather have a more normal life. Maybe I'm getting burned out on a certain kind of intensity. I'm not interested in rescuing anyone like I used to. I'm looking for someone who really has it pretty much together, who would deign to hang with me, respect who I am and what I have to offer.

Yeah maybe we all are burned out. I am that's for sure.

It's just that to accomplish anything and do it well requires enough effort as it is without adding any extra intensity.

It's called heavy drama.

It's called hassle, stress, tension. Whatever it is, I need to feel a kind of flow with someone, a kind of ease, a level of natural comfort, a joyful partnership. I'm so tired of hearing about people's problems. We all have them, but I'm not a professional counselor and I don't want to function as one for anyone anymore.

Sounds nice, I hope you find it. We're going to come back to this too because there's a lot more you need to say about your preferences and why you have them at this stage in your life. But I'm so glad you've given up handing out a lot of free advice to people who could give a crap about it or you.

POLITICS

OK, well the first item I want to put on the table: website is a post you wrote a short time ago. It's got a lot of your traditional style, but I'm a little unfamiliar with your new politics. I heard that you'd turned conservative a while ago but I'm a little surprised to see you write and sound so much like a typical neo-con. Will talk about this after I insert this piece. It's not really necessary to say where it is, is it? OK, well here it is. You put this into a thread about bashing Democrats. It seems we get a lot of it these days. Here's what you wrote:

This is an amazing little thread. What really intrigues me is the notion of LIBERAL vs. CONSERVATIVE in American public life and society. These are for openers really ODD labels. They could be and are like two competitive sporting teams; the Republicans (America is a Federal Republic comprised of fifty very individual states) and Democrats (established on the democratic principles of equal rights under law, considered by the Founders of the Republic, including the tutelary head of this party, Tom Jefferson, to be both derived from the Creator (whomever or whatever that may be) and inalienable (that means you can’t take em away)).

In an essay I wrote a few years back I preferred to color them Red for the Democrats, since they had allied themselves with the traditional Marxist / socialist ideas about government’s role in society and Blue for the Republicans since that was the color of the uniforms that won the Civil War and established the Federal government as other than a loose presiding organ over the more vital interests and direct governance of the individual states. It seems we have thus been left with a choice between a powerful central government (the Blues) and an all powerful central government (the Reds). Not much of choice.

The real cleavages between people and their politics and society really break down into two groups.

One of these groups are made up of those who wish to take responsibility for themselves and their families through good times and bad and if the latter come to bear up with the best possible good graces, knowing that life is not fair, often hard, nasty, brutish and short, but more often than not feel that what’s really important in life is what is found in the simple timeless moments, that there is a higher “spiritual” side of life, that if this life is hard, the next can and, for the good, probably will be better. People who live this way are far more likely to help others, especially in times of great natural or human disaster, but in any event don’t bother much with where one came from, where one got educated or how much money one has. To these kinds of people there are only the good and the bad. The good try to do their best, keep their word and stay out of trouble.

The other group is made up of people who think what they are doing is somehow important, that they are above the average, that their agenda would create a better world for themselves, especially but for all as well. These people are really into being stylish, proud of being good looking, vain and supercilious (they’d like a word like this because it’s long and most people don’t know what it means). Good and bad to them is whatever they decide it is. They make a great show of caring for others, are great actors when it comes to showing emotion or throwing temperamental tantrums, but when it comes to offering any real help, getting personally involved with those who really need help, forget it. They hate to get their hands dirty.

These are extremes but you can see my point I’m sure. We all fit somewhere in the middle. The first group distrusts the latter and the latter despises the former. The labels liberal and conservative are just that. What the two groups have are two diametrically opposed world views.

The liberal world would be a bit like this: first there’d be as much if not more money and much higher prices for everything since their policies would tend to create scarcity, especially in food which would be mostly artificial, especially if you were of “the masses”. Only a few party officials and special groups would ever be entitled to luxuries (including real food) and the rest would sort of gaze up in bewildered wonder and worship of these people as benefactors to society that they are not worthy of becoming since they have been dumbed down by a state educational system that took away any notion that they could ever amount to anything except consumers and drudges who would be lucky to live out their lives in a sort of free sex pornotopia where all the children are illegitimate and raised by the state anyway and where when you grow up they give you a dirty little closet to live in, also owned by the state, and when you became too old and sick they’d euthanize you and you’d be damn grateful they did too. Meanwhile, if you’re one of those self important types I was describing earlier, you’d have a better job, more perks and prettier girlfriends, who would share the same fate as any other woman when they got too old and dumpy to be endured, for such a society is very sexist, despite all claims to the contrary. This is what a full blown commie dictatorship is like. This is where the most notorious people on the left want to take us.

The arch conservative view is a little like living in Bonanza, the wild west, where it’s every man and his family for himself, with lots of guns, lots of fire and brimstone prayer meetings, all the money is gold and silver (heavy stuff you have to carry around) but prices are much lower because there’s practically no taxes except for the upkeep of a few regular marshals to keep order. Food is plentiful, good and cheap. Only a scoundrel would ever dream of denaturing it with additives. A man’s word is his bond, so nobody ever promises anything they don’t intend to keep. People who have fancy ideas are looked upon as fools or worse. Nobody has sex before marriage unless they want to get their head blown off. Everyone marries for life. Nobody is illegitimate, everyone has a family where more often than not what mom says is law. Everyone is educated in the basics in small classes staffed by teachers who are always respected and sought after. Each town pays for its own school and decides what is and is not taught there. The rich in this case are those who usually have made such a significant contribution to society that the whole world is knocking at their door to do business with them and they need all the help they can get just to keep up with it. The poor are those who won’t find work or fall into bad habits they can’t afford. When you get too old you go back to your family who takes care of you until you pass away in whatever mode is most natural. Those on the far right might like to take us back to something like this.

Each of us falls somewhere between these two extremes, but both are present and coincident in America to this day. But these two views produce two opposite outcomes. Where do we want to go in the next century?

Well, I think it's a pretty fair guess that you'd prefer a "Bonanza" to a "commie dictatorship." But I remember a long time ago you sort of talked like a communist yourself. Didn't you once advocate a limit to how much wealth any individual could keep? Wouldn't that have been sort of like fishing? You know the way it used to be in a place like Idaho where the limit was 12 fish in your possession?

I said at the time that I was a socialist, so yeah, I'll admit it. It only goes to prove how ignorant I was. I was basing my thinking on popular idealism. There was no basis in reality about much of anything we learned in college as you know.

Yeah, considering what I've ended up doing for a living, it sure was a big waste of money. But we did have some good times back there.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have left after the first year.

Nobody would have hired you.

I know. Ironic isn't it? A technically blind guy can't get a job despite his obvious intelligence, but the same blind guy with a college degree can get a corporate job. I'd have transferred to a more politically conservative college, maybe a more technical college.

Why not a conservatory of music?

I tried that, remember?

Why didn't it work out?

A lot of reasons, but mostly because of my blindness and that I've only recently acquired a pair of glasses that makes it possible for me, for the first time in my life to read music easier. It's still not easy, but much easier with these new glasses. The other reason is that the place was so narrow minded for me at that time.

Might have been the wrong conservatory.

Maybe, but wouldas and shouldas is not really my style. Let's move on.

Well, in order to get a job, you needed more than a college degree. You had that technical education besides. But let's not lose sight of the politics issue here. When we first met you were a liberal just like everyone else, now you're clearly a conservative. What changed your mind?

Mostly seeing liberals for what they really are, phonies. Here's a piece by Allen Bloom that makes my point in a lot more detail:

Elitism is the catch-all epithet expressing our disapproval of the proud and the desire to be first.

But, unsupported and excoriated, this part of the soul [elitism] lives on, dwelling underground, receiving no sublimating education. As with all repressed impulses, it has its daily effects on personality and also occasionally bursts forth in various disguises and monstrous shapes. Much of modern history can be explained by the search of what Plato called spiritedness for legitimate self-expression. Certainly compassion and the idea of the vanguard were essentially democratic covers for elitist self-assertion. Rousseau, who first made compassion the foundation of democratic sentiment, was fully aware that a sense of superiority to the sufferer is a component of the human experience of compassion. He actually was attempting to channel the inegalitarian impulse into egalitarian channels. Similarly the avant-garde (usually used in relation to art) and the vanguard (usually used in relation to politics) are democratic modes of distinguishing oneself, of being ahead, of leading, without denying the democratic principle. The members of the vanguard have just a small evanescent advantage. They now know what everyone will soon know. This posture conciliates instinct with principle. And it was the one adopted by the students who feared assimilation to the democratic man. There they were in those few elite universities, which were being rapidly democratized. And their political futures were bleak, their educations not advantaging them for elective office, providing only the prospect of having to work their way up in the dreary fashion of such contemptible persons as Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon. But these universities were respected, looked to by the democratic press and were the alma maters of much of the powerful elite. These little places could easily be seized, just as a polls could have been seized. Using them as a stage, students instantly achieved notoriety. Young black students I knew at Cornell appeared on the covers of the national news magazines. How irresistible it all was, an elite shortcut to political influence. In the ordinary world, outside the universities, such youngsters would have had no way of gaining attention. They took as their models Mao, Castro and Che Guevara, promoters of equality, if you please, but surely not themselves equal to anyone. They themselves wanted to be the leaders of a revolution of compassion. The great objects of their contempt and fury were the members of the American middle class, professionals, workers, white collar and blue, farmers; all of those vulgarians who made up the American majority and who did not need or want either the compassion or the leadership of the students. They dared to think themselves equal to the students and to resist having their consciousness raised by them. It is very difficult to distinguish oneself in America, and in order to do so the students substituted conspicuous compassion for their parents' conspicuous consumption. They specialized in being the advocates of all those in America and the Third World who did not challenge their sense of superiority and who, they imagined, would accept their leadership. None of the exquisite thrills of egalitarian vanity were alien to them.

One could appreciate and even sympathize with the frustrated inclinations, the love of glory that could not be avowed, the quest for the recognition of excellence that were revealed in the sixties campus politics. However, the hypocrisy of it all, and the ignorance of what a man has to know and to risk in order to be political, made the spectacle more repulsive than touching. Tyrannical impulses masqueraded as democratic compassion, and quest for distinction as love of equality. Self-knowledge was utterly lacking, and their conquest was so easy. The elite should really be elite, but these elitists were given the distinction they craved without having earned it. The university provided a kind of affirmative-action elitism. There had for a long time been a conspiracy in the universities to deny that there is a problem for the superior individual, particularly the one with the gift and the passion for ruling, in democratic society. Suddenly they found themselves confronted by potential rulers who accused them of complicity in the crime of ruling. It served them right.

The Closing of the American Mind

Allen Bloom pages 330-332

Professor Bloom was being far too kind in my opinion. He could have mentioned all the "gifted children" programs that were set up by parents who wanted to push their children forward, regardless of whether their children were really that much more superior to the average. A lot of them were given no moral teachings whatsoever so they became basically what Bloom calls them; elitists. The Indigo Child nonsense is setting us up for more of the same; young people trying to gain political influence without earning the right to it or gaining the valuable experience necessary to become a wise and responsible leader.

So all this makes conservatives better?

Usually, yes. A conservative is just someone who's out there earning their own way the best they can. If someone comes along and are in need of a little help, they can usually get it from them on a personal level, maybe in exchange for a little hard work. As for conservative politicians, they are bound by the law and the sense of the morality that created it, especially the Constitution. A liberal is far more interested in being an elitist while covering it with a lot of faked compassion. You can't get anything like the same kind of personal aid from a liberal, they'll send you to a bureaucrat and wash their hands of any personal responsibility for you.

Was that your experience?

Yes.

That had to do with that business we wont talk about, right?

Right.

I thought so. But David, a lot of people can't get that kind of personal access to an interested conservative person who can help them, including a lot of people with your disability or something far worse. Not everyone is as smart as you are either. You can figure things out, complicated things that most people wouldn't even understand. So why are you so opposed to liberal policies?

You mean government programs?

Exactly.

I'm not opposed to them per se, but very few people who are ever involved with them ever get free of them.

Maybe that's just the best possible situation for them, but come on David, you benefit from these programs yourself. Isn't your position hypocritical?

It has a lot to do with the kinds of things I respect in society. I respect people who can make things, grow things, produce things. Government isn't a net producer of anything except weapons systems. Necessary as those may be, they can't compare with food, houses, clothing, other goods and services. Look, we're using a word processor to put something up on the internet using a computer. None of this was developed by a government program.

Are you sure?

Pretty sure, yeah. Certainly there were some government grants for research, and the original internet was developed for the Department of Defense.

See?

But it's private enterprise that has built and sustains the internet.

OK, but I think we're getting off the track. What made you stop voting for liberal politicians and supporting their policies?

I began to look at who they really were as people. I don't happen to like most of them. They strike me as out for themselves and all the talk about helping the little guy is just BS to help them get elected.

And all the stuff conservative politicians say is just BS to help them get elected. Come on David, so you mean you like people like Pat Buchanan? Do you really like people like the president and the attorney general? Come on! Everything that has helped you most has been from liberal politicians.

And I'm supposed to feel grateful to them as my superiors for the rest of my life?

Don't they deserve it?

NO! Look, Pat Buchanan is way off somewhere. I'm not sure I even consider him a real conservative. But look, you've read my Polar Bear website and you know that I consider all politicians to be pawns. The real power lies with the string pullers and those above them.

Yeah, you seem to buy the New World Order conspiracy a bit too much too. What's that about?

It fits the facts of our social situation better than anything else. Look, right now we are being pushed toward a unilateral action against Iraq that only a few seem to want. It looks like the whole thing is being cooked up to get us into war.

Yeah, your conservative friends.

But we probably really do need to get rid of Saddam. According to some sources he's playing around with technology far beyond nuclear weapons that he doesn't know how to handle. If he gets a weapon of mass destruction he's very likely to use it.

Your sources! If we force him to by going to war, he's certainly going to use it.

Not if we remove him first. It's a gamble I'm not sure I'm willing to accept. He isn't very trustworthy.

Look David, I just think it makes more sense for you to support liberal politics and the programs that have directly benefited you than a bunch of policies that only benefit rich oil men.

Liberal policies that benefit liberal politicians and trial lawyers you mean and tend to keep whole classes of people in economic stratas where they will never rise to challenge the leadership that's in place. That's the role of confiscatory taxation, to keep people poor and dependent. It wasn't liberal policies that benefited me as much as it was the private corporations and later the individual people who helped me the most and helped my family the most. The government's tax structure always tended to keep me and my family down. The more I made, the more they took. I resent having my labor taxed. Let them tax the goods and services I buy instead.

Well, the government needs the money. People need the services.

I know they need the services, but there are ways they can get them that are cheaper and do not make a slavery out of our labor. OK, let's change the subject.

OK, but not before I point out to everyone that this is someone who pounded the pavements for McGovern in '72 who wouldn't have voted for the shrub's dad in '88, who now thinks Reagan was the greatest, thinks Nixon wasn't all that bad, and hates the Clintons. Seems to me you really loathe Hillary more than Bill.

True. I think she wants to be Queen of America.

And you really like those right wingers in the media who are constantly bashing the old liberals, people like Ann Coulter and Laura Ingrahm, oh dear!

Yes I do; looks, talent and brains, and nerve. I can't help but admire a woman especially with a bit of an edge.

You seem to like em a bit on the bitchy side. Your late wife was certainly no push over.

Nope, she was more of a hot pistol. But no, it's not bitchy, it's witty that I like, sarcastic, satirical, a bit irreverent, and one can't be any of that without staying informed. So I like that too. Look, for the record, I'm not a liberal and won't look back. Been there, done that. I admire people who go out there and take the world on with few complaints. I hate whining and victim mentalities. I don't think political correctness helps anybody. Those who need the most help have to be instructed in where they are wrong first before they can change their outlook and do better for themselves. That is usually not a liberal prescription because it means that someone in authority has to exercise judgment over others and in doing so they become judgmental, which as everyone knows is unpopular these days. There are certain buzzwords that whenever I hear them directed at me I immediately sense that the person is on the other side of a divide. Judgmental is one of them. I'd prefer to call it "exercising discernment," but that's too wordy for most people to understand. So yeah, I'm "judgmental" without any bad conscience about it, and I'm looking for the same, someone who has their own mind.

I'd say you were discriminating. They used to call it having discrimination, but that word means something else now.

As does the word gay. Look, I'm much more in synch with a conservative point of view on a wide variety of issues. I think it's morally ok to be rich and not particularly blessed to be poor. I'm middle class and glad of it. But I certainly wouldn't mind being rich. Most liberals feel the same desire but they're guilty about it, at least in public. That's phony. Much else about them is phony too. Any partner of mine is someone who has not jettisoned their rationality and discernment to satisfy some political idealism that thinks that all people can just "get along" without considering some pretty serious problems and facing up to them to change them.

OK, so ladies, this guy is looking for someone who has something of the Ann Coulter or Laura Ingrahm attitude about her. I frankly wonder whether good old laid back Dave can really handle such a woman, but his late wife was certainly an outstanding personality, someone one would never forget, so just maybe he can. I wanted to touch on something else that seems quite curious to me too. Maybe this fits in more with a discussion of that other heavy topic, religion.

RELIGION:

What are you talking about?

Well, you know, you weren't always such a religious person.

I'm not sure I am now. You haven't changed. You've never been religious.

No, I'm still an agnostic. Always have been. But you were raised in a religious family and I wasn't and I guess you just went back to it, except that it's not quite the same religion you were raised in.

Well, it really is. But I'm not really very different from the way I was a long time ago before we met.

Oh come on David, you go to church practically every day now and you ARE different from the way you were a long time ago.

Well?

So that's being religious.

I just started going to church more often recently. I still don't think of myself as particularly "churchy."

Yeah right. David you are a religious man, OK? And you didn't used to be. In fact you were......?

I was always a Christian. I always wanted to do good to anyone I met. I never wanted to do evil to anyone. On occasion I have been tempted to do evil in that matter we aren't discussing, but I didn't.

Yeah I know. But you never regularly went to church, any church. Now you go to church a lot.

So maybe I won't go to church so much in the future. Right now I like it.

Right now, you might need it. But what I wanted to bring in here was your particular interest, almost affinity for the Jews. You aren't Jewish but you always take their side in practically everything, especially concerning Israel.

Yes I do.

So why are you so pro-Jewish?

Well to start with, Jesus was a Jew. That's probably part of it. I have of course had a lot of contact with Jewish people in New York and in California and actually, everywhere. I've worked with them and hung out with them and I guess I understand what's important to them more than almost any other ethnic group. And yes, in particular, I am very pro Israel. I don't really care whether the Palestinians have squatted there for 2,000 years, that land was given to the Jews by God and it belongs to them.

I really don't want to get into this. I don't believe in God so any idea of a divine land grant doesn't make much sense to me. This is another of David's rash opinionated statements. He used to make a lot more of them. I'm sure that if pressed, he would show more compassion toward the Palestinian Arabs...

Of course, they can live there, but the area must be ruled by the Jews. It's theirs.

OK, whatever. Do you ever see yourself being involved with a Jewish person?

What, like romantically? I don't know, but I doubt it. Being married to a Jewish woman? I don't think so. Their tradition is pretty strict and deep and I'm not of their group and these things are important, to an Orthodox Jew anyway. I'm certainly open to being friends with anyone no matter what their background. And everyone knows that many of my oldest friends happen to be Jewish.

So why not become a Jew yourself? Have you ever considered it? You know what your Israeli friend said to you and your late wife one time about just admitting that you believe less than you already do.

It's a little more complicated than that. I have more respect than to think I would ever make a very good Jew. It's hard enough to be a good Christian.

Some people, like me, don't think you need it, any of it. But I'll tell you David, if it's you, you need to let everyone know. David is at this time a practicing Roman Catholic. He was raised in a very fundamentalist Christian background by people who seldom if ever drink and don't smoke. David did both when he left home.

Youthful rebellion.

Well, it got to be a bit more than that. For instance, David is very knowledgeable about wine. I don't know anyone who knows more about it than him. You can't know that much unless you drink a lot of it, and believe me I should know.

-- laughs --

OK, but are we leaving the subject of religion behind now? I wasn't at all prepared to discuss my particular attitude toward Jewish people and wine into a discussion of religion. For me, music is really a religion too. It's something that I like to do every day and I think about it every day.

MUSIC

David is a fairly accomplished pianist. I don't know much about classical music. He does. I remember talking with him about the lives of many of the great composers. He knows practically what they ate. He has an idea that various kinds of music are associated with certain kinds of people. He calls those who callow a certain kind of music "tribes." He says that his late wife advised him to look for a woman who was of his tribe. I'd say this requirement tops the list. Almost. Let's see, I'd say she's a slender woman about 5'6", blue eyes, brown or blonde hair, long and straight, loves to drive, crack sarcastic jokes and knows about classical music.

-- laughs --

That's pretty close.

Can you add to this?

Well, I practice a lot, play the same stuff a lot until I get it just right. I guess it's a good thing that I don't play the trumpet. I think someone who can tolerate or even enjoy a home where pianos and classical piano music are a key part would be a must.

E-HARMONY:

OK, let's get into the e-harmony stuff; Must Have's and Can't Stands.

Must Haves:

Sense of Humor... I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.

Did it surprise you to know that a lot of people think YOU are funny?

Sort of, yeah. I like to think of myself as pretty serious, but I guess I do lace everything with a little bit of humor.

Sometimes it's intentional, but sometimes it's just that YOU are funny. I don't think it bothers you much that you make people laugh by being yourself.

No, I don't care.

-- laughs --

Artistry... I must have a partner who has a passion for music, literature, drama, art, and the finer things in life either as a spectator or participant.

We've covered the particulars of this, but another thing everyone should know is that David is, in spite of his poor eyesight, a reader. He's often seen with his face in a book.

I don't read as much as I would like even. I have a great thirst for certain kinds of information and I don't mind reading certain things just for pleasure.

How many pages can you read in a day?

Oh maybe as much as 200 pages.

It's kind of amazing to me that you can see well enough to take in a lot of visual things but you can't see well enough to drive.

But I can perfectly well ride a bike or a horse.

So you were just born in the wrong century.

Here's what I mean; Attractiveness... I must have a partner who is considered "very attractive" by most current standards.

Do tell! Your late wife was certainly a striking looking woman. I'd have considered her very attractive, but I'm not sure that it wasn't her vitality and personality that made her seem more beautiful than she was.

No, come on, she was a very pretty woman. She walked into a room and everyone noticed. That's kind of what I mean by attractiveness. Some have it and some don't.

But you can't see...

Oh yes I can. Certain things I notice right away. I'm not THAT blind. I just can't drive.

But you sure can read a map. You're a great navigator. I've appreciated that on our road trips.

Thank-you.

But what kind of attractiveness are you looking for?

You pretty much described it earlier. She should be confident about herself and project it. I plan on being in business for myself fairly soon and I need someone who looks good in front of the public at my side, someone who isn't unaware of the importance of feminine wiles in a variety of social situations.

I didn't think you much cared about these things.

Have you ever seen me with an unattractive woman?

Not in any romantic situation, no.

OK?

OK.

Intellect... I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.

We've pretty much touched on your political outlook and something about your religious life. What other than music would you like to discuss with a woman?

Geopolitics, investments, real estate, business, fine art, literature, history, philosophy, culture, stuff that's "out of the box." I am interested in pushing back the boundaries of what we know about the distant past, ancient civilizations, ourselves, how and why we came to be here.

OK, this is a guy who doesn't believe in evolution or Biblical creationism, doesn't believe in the big bang, is skeptical about the laws of thermodynamics, is open to the study of the paranormal, is interested in advanced technology, someone who has maintained a running conversation with a friend of his, a math professor at a Midwestern university, about physics, about a scientific basis for astrology, about alternative healthcare especially orthomolecular medicine, about a lot of different things. David is a diehard generalist with an amazing amount of knowledge about a wide variety of things. He sure knows a lot about pianos, classical music, wine and perhaps women. You used to be pretty good cook too.

Well, I kind of got burned out. After my wife died, I lived with my in-laws for a while and as part of the deal I prepared all their evening meals. I started doing the gourmet things I used to. But they complained so much that I had to confine myself to bland and boring. I also have gradually become less interested in food as I've become more interested in losing weight and staying fit. I like eating less and enjoying it more these days.

Adaptability... I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life's surprises. Why did you choose this one?

Well it sure beats the opposite doesn't it? So many people out there are in their own way, and I'm not suggesting that I've freed myself entirely, but the secret to adaptability is not being attached to things. You know a really great friend of mine who died about a year ago was fond of saying that if anything didn't return at least 3% per year in value he'd get rid of it. Anything. As much as I enjoy my things, and I do, I recognize that everything is temporal. You know after my wife died I was left with so much stuff that nobody in the family wanted. How much sentimentality attached to things is enough before it becomes a prison? I kept the very valuable and sold off everything else. Adaptability begins with having a limited and rational attachment to material possessions.

Interesting.

Shared Politics... I must have someone who has political beliefs which are the same or similar to my own.

We covered this one already, let's move on.

Parenting Style... I must have someone who shares my views about how to raise children.

You have two daughters, one is 21 and married and has just become an LPN, congratulations!

Thanks.

Your youngest is 15 and a sophomore in high school. She lives with you and seems to have a very open and direct relationship with you.

She's going through the usual teenage issues but she's a great kid. We've always been close. She's very loyal and protective of me. She's the most important person in my life right now.

How would you describe your parenting style?

Well it consists of NOTHING that one reads in the typical pop psychology and is not laced with any liberal political themes. My home is not a child centered home. I'm the authority and what I say goes. The way to keep authority is not to have to use it very often. I value a lot of freedom and can't stand control freaks, busy bodies, goody goodies, prudes or phonies. Since I always have talked to my kids as if they could understand me even if they couldn't, they at least knew that I respected them as people. Maybe this is why most of my daughter's friends like me. So I certainly wouldn't tolerate someone coming into my home and telling me that I wasn't raising my child correctly. I've gotten very good results being free and open while setting very clear limits. I'm very happy with the people my children are becoming and I know that most people aren't as pleased with their parenting results. Suffice it to say that I know how to be a good parent and like it and I'd like someone who shared my views about it.

Would you ever consider having more children?

We miscarried twice, probably because of my wife's medical problems. I think back on those times as little deaths of two more children that we didn't have. There's a certain belief out there now that older men shouldn't have children, some other information about dangers with older women having children. I like children. Raising mine has probably been the best thing I've done in my life. But I guess I'd better think about having children of a different order.

Fair enough, and thank-you.

Spirituality... I must have someone with a similar deep commitment to spirituality, who shares my beliefs.

Is there something here we haven't covered?

I am a Christian first, who happens to be a practicing Roman Catholic at the moment. I'm probably always going to be a Catholic. I raised my kids to be Catholic and they can rebel against it if they like, as their mother did. But they'll probably be back, as she was. But I am in one way not like the typical "cradle Catholic" in that I accept more of what the Church means in its teachings more than the letter of following them.

I speculate about much else too that isn't heretical but isn't directly part of the Catholic teaching. Religion is about what can't be seen and can usually not be proved in any Cartesian sense. It's about where we might be going after this life and maybe even where we were before this life. I'm very interested in all of this. I'm fascinated by stories of near death experiences. I have some stories to tell that I'm not ready to make public about what I believe about these other aspects of our life.

Essentially the person I'm looking for is ready to believe anything while simultaneously prepared to doubt everything. Only hard experience and clear conclusive evidence wouldn't fall through this sieve. I'm interested in knowing the truth even if I wouldn't like telling it openly to everyone.

That's pretty neat. How do you feel about Eastern religions?

I respect most of them highly, but I'm interested in and attracted to Taoism and Tibetan Buddhism, had a passing occasional interest in Zen a long time ago. It's been suggested to me that I take up Tai-chi or some other form of martial art. I used to take yoga workshops with my late wife and really enjoyed them. I think much of this has value.

And what about Islam?

I'll tell you a story a friend of mine told me. He was doing some extensive roaming about south Asia and contracted Elephantiasis of his genitals. After looking around for a cure, he was led to consult a Moslem Imam in Indonesia who cured him. He became a Moslem. There are things about their religion that are appealing; simplicity, a direct and frank morality, a love of geometric forms that has influenced the rest of the world. But I think that right now radical Islam, like radical religion in any form, is doing a tragic disservice to Islam, and until it is put down so that more moderate Moslems can feel more secure from the threats of their own co-religionists, Islam as a whole is under a terrible shadow.

OK, Responsible... My partner must be financially responsible.

Absolutely. In fact I'll tell anyone right up front that I will never share a checking account with anyone ever again. I'll gladly agree to share expenses or pay money openly to my partner, but sharing finances is something I don't think is a good idea. The best way to become financially responsible is to pay one's bills on time and not to incur further debt without a plan to retire it. Most people get into trouble through attachments to too many things that do not return value to them. I'm not saying I have this one licked yet either. But at least I'm working on it. I also never want to hear from my partner that money doesn't matter because as long as we live on this earth money matters and it means freedom tangle ways.

Sounds Jewish, you have been hanging out with them.

-- laughs --

Oh No, I'm not cheap. But I'd rather spend on the best I can rather than settle for inferior quality.

Sexually Knowledgeable... I must have someone who is mature and experienced as a potential sexual partner and is able to express themselves freely.

Well, obviously what this means is that there should be some sexual chemistry between us and that she should be experienced. I don't know how one gets that without having had sex. That usually means marriage. See I'm not your typical Catholic. I expect that my future partner is either a divorcé or a widow but still has a desire for a sexual life.

Can you tell me David just what you think the purpose of a sexual life is at your age?

Sure, it's about rejuvenation. That which created life in former years should be nurtured to enhance one's life force and that of one's mate. The sexual orgasm is a fundamental reset of those life forces. It seems unimportant what fantasies lead up to the release as long as the release is thorough and profound and produces a blowing off of excess tensions leading to a better state of rest. In addition it is a very personal affirmation of a bond between two people, an expression of love that signifies a fundamental (and hopefully fun) unity of two individuals who join their bodes and their fully aware senses to become at least for a few instants, one being. It's also an art form, a language and probably contributes to lengthening one's life by making it healthier. Yeah, sex is good.

-- laughs --

Did you just come with all that? Do you really believe all that?

Oh yes, and I've thought so for many years.

OK, now we come to the Can't Stands:

Depressed... I can't stand someone who is constantly unhappy about their life.

Yes, now everyone has their days when they get depressed, and they get out of it easily, but clinical depression is something else and since I'm not a professional, I really don't want to deal with this problem. I live up here in the Northeast and I really like this part of the country. I know that our winters are long and cold. Nevertheless, it is possible to live up here without falling prey to clinical depression.

Yeah, laid back Dave doesn't want to have someone complaining about how dreary the weather is in his area. It is nice, has it's own rusticity and beauty, especially in the fall.

And the winters are even nice once you get used to them.

Cheating... I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.

This is actually a certain character type more than involving cheating per se. A cheater is motivated by a number of character defects that again, I don't want to deal with. A net taker is someone who usually feels they have it coming to them and if they can't get what they want honestly they'll take it by deceit or outright theft whether its things or other people's husbands or wives. I do adhere to a belief in the seven deadly sins, plus two. A net giver will be rewarded by me.

Here's one of those deadly sins. Anger... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.

The root of this problem, and it is widespread, is that one has a right to be angry. Nobody has a right to be angry. Anger is a form of manipulation. Bad temper tops my list of the worst character traits. They should have been taken over their father's knee and spanked and told that they were never entitled to their anger no matter what.

Sounds like a contradiction to me, spanking as a cure for anger.

It isn't. That which a bad character trait attracts is its antidote. If every time an angry little boy or girl got a little pain, they'd soon stop being angry. The problem with modern notions of raising children is that all the usual consequences for one's actions have been removed. So if one early on gets the taste for using anger to push people around and isn't challenged, they keep doing it.

Sounds like you think America needs a good spanking.

Some Americans do, yes.

How about this one? Victim Mentality... While everyone has times of self-pity, I can't stand someone who continually sees themselves as a victim.

Well this is what I call the "Oprah syndrome," all that faked up emotion used to make one feel miserable. Besides, all victims conceive of oppressors or villains who must be removed by knights in shining armor. It's all a fantasy to excuse oneself from getting up and doing something about one's situation; taking charge of oneself. Of course it's a psychological prop for political liberals in their never ending search for more slaves. I doubt any conservative or libertarian ever feels like a victim. So there it is.

And Childishness... I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.

Many years ago, I knew a young woman who was smart and beautiful. How smart? She could multiply two four digit numbers and always get the right answer. She was a math whiz, as well as one of the best computer programmers I've ever known. She had a huge crush on me which was sort of pleasant, and she wanted it to get serious, but she had never grown up. An adult is different from a child in a number of ways; they can handle responsibility, they can handle the serious emotions, they can make decisions for themselves and others. There should be a little child inside each of us, not to give much to pop psychology on this point, but when one grows up one ceases behaving like a child as a way of life or as a character trait.

Fiscally Irresponsible... I can't stand someone who is incapable of managing their money.

My late wife was a wonderful woman but she could certainly have managed her money and mine a lot better. I'm looking for someone who has a more realistic view of money, respects it and is interested in increasing it rather than spending it as fast as they can.

Excessive Overweight... I can't stand someone who is overweight.

I'm not talking about having a few extra pounds, I'm talking about people who are flat out FAT. I am beginning to suspect that chronic obesity has another component that is at yet not fully understood; when a body becomes allergic to foods or beverages, it puffs up and is also deprived of basic nutrition. Most fat people are always hungry but they eat and are not satisfied. They do not get enough energy from the little food that others might eat. Something is wrong with them. We live in a culture that lives to eat. There are certain places around the country that it takes a lot more imagination to live in than even the rural Northeast where I live, places where they have never heard that gluttony is a sin, a deadly sin! I have read and seen all sorts of excuses. Sorry, there is nothing beautiful about being fat, at least not to me. There are many ways that a body can become disfigured. Most disfigure theirs through becoming obese. These people usually have lots of issues that they are holding onto hiding them under their fat. I'm not interested.

Right on, David! You prefer a younger woman too isn't that right?

Yes of course, young and beautiful. Why not? I admit it. And not fat.

Is there some reason for this?

Yeah. A lot of the older women about my age are among the Oprah crowd, chronically depressed, victims, fat, LIBERALS! Many of the younger women have been exposed to the neo-con views and have pulled away from all this entanglement and gone out there and done things.

Oooh, I liked this one. Intruding Family/Friends... I can't stand someone whose relatives and friends are constantly calling or visiting.

I'll be perfectly frank: my home is where I feel free and where my word is law to preserve the freedom of those under my roof. I am the king. It's good to be the king. Anyone who wants to meddle in my affairs us not welcome in my home, period. I have seen meddling relatives wreck people's lives. Not mine thanks. And friends who drop in who can't contribute at least good manners are not likely to be asked to return.

Been here: Political Correctness... I can't stand someone who censors their thoughts and opinions with a politically correct agenda.

Right, this includes peaceniks, environmentalist whackos, commies, socialists, those who like to use words like racist, sexist or homophobe, judgmental, etc. Just another way to manipulate, meddle, undermine and destroy my freedom and that of others. PC is about as un-American as anything I know of. To put it mildly, it sucks! I don't want it anywhere in my immediate vicinity. Anyone who subscribes to it I have an almost visceral reaction to. I'm not alone on this either.

OK: Uninterested... I can't stand someone who does not enjoy having sex on a regular basis.

Well, particularly if you're married to them. This amounts to about one third of a serious relationship. As I said above, it does have health ramifications. We live in a time when people can get help if there's something wrong with them, unless they have damaged themselves beyond repair through abuse of alcohol or drugs.

Yep, I'd say you are looking for quite a unique lady. Let's see, maybe a European?

Maybe. But she should certainly know how to drive over here.

Would you consider relocating?

Not until my daughter graduates and maybe not even then. I like Coxsackie. I'm sure there are other interesting towns in the Northeast that I'd find quite nice too. I don't know. I am loathe to move back to the West Coast, especially California. I spent more than half my life there. It isn't anything like it was when I was growing up there. About the only place I miss is Yosemite.

Would you consider moving back to New York?

The city? I don't know. You have to have lots of money to live there well. If I had lots of money, maybe, sure.

Boston?

I liked Boston, the few times I've been there. Not sure it liked me that much though.

Well you have more in common with the average Texan than the acerage New Yorker.

You mean I'm not a typical liberal? Forget Texas, wouldn't live there. Way too hot for me.

You are so atypical that it's beyond belief? Look, first off you are an albino. That makes you immediately 1 in 100,000 people.

No, it's more like 1 in 500,000. I've seen only about a dozen other albinos in my life. One is my youngest sister.

Yeah, she's stunning.

We all are. That's usually the first reaction to seeing someone who is as white as we are. We're practically a different race. I remember once my sister and I were together waiting for a bus in San Francisco, both wearing nearly identical trench coats. This old woman walks up to us and asks us what country we're from. We looked at each other and almost told her we were from Mars.

What's your ancestry? Aren't you Swedish or something?

A quarter Swede, the rest German, English, Scotch-Irish (actually Black Irish), Dutch and a little American Indian thrown in, which I like.

And you're Catholic.

That's right.

A Swedish Catholic?

An American Catholic.

Definitely an American.

Yes.

Well David, this has been fun. I wish you luck in your quest. I think you should get all your Catholic friends to pray for you.

Thanks, I do.