More on Finding the Tribe

Originally appeared on AOL, Sunday, October 12, 1997

Edited Thursday, February 3, 2000

Basically the argument goes something like this: There are lots and lots of unattached people out there looking for friendship and a lot more. The basic premise is that people should look for friends, significant others, etc. among those who share their interests; their Tribe.

We are all aware that there are apparently many other tribes that we don't belong to. Some of the ones that come to mind are, "the bar scene", "the country western scene", "the pierced and tatooed scene", "the alein abductee wanna-be scene", etc., etc. How do we define our Tribe? Basically it's about having refined tastes, enjoying classical music, high culture, especially European culture, the fine arts, etc.

It follows that those of us who are true members of this tribe ought to get to know each other here on the internet and elsewhere and share and expand our unique perspective on things, one that usually reaches above and beyond most others.

Where do Tribe members hang out? Their "temples" are the places live music concerts are held. Other hang outs might include museums, lectures, bookstores, the classical music sections of CD stores, legitimate theatres, dance productions (both ballet and modern), and of course the homes of their friends, where they might be occasionally invited to perform for the benefit of guests at various occasions. But one might encounter a fellow Tribe member almost anywhere, one never knows. After all Tribe members must shop for food, do their laundry in public places, etc.

In drawing up a profile of a Tribe member, a few stereotypes might be knocked down right away and others are pretty standard markers.

Members of the Tribe are usually well read, whether they are formally well educated or not. Most are. In fact most have decided to get advanced degrees.

Many are also bilingual.

Most are professionals although quite a few are also self made business people.

Most are NOT gay although the Tribe offers sanctuary and solace for quite a number of these otherwise socially displaced people.

Most are NOT very political but if so are pretty well evenly distributed among the "liberals" and "conservatives".

It is NOT the case that Tribe members are snobs. Membership in this Tribe is open to anyone based on interest. As one's interest deepens, one's knowledge grows. But the Tribe recognizes certain virtues that are the mainstay of its life, such as the quest for beauty, talent and brains, all those attributes that stretch the human potential. However based on the recognition of the valuable contributions of those who were members of the Tribe before our own time, going back over several centuries, the Tribe seeks to deepen its own life through the newest contributions of its members building on that tradition. The Tribe has a very long tradition.

Members of this Tribe tend to be a rare mix of the conventional and the eccentric in about equal amounts; each has a strong desire not to be categorized personally but yet wants to be associated with some group of like minded members. This psychical dichotomy produces some peculiar but engaging personalities.

Most but not all Tribe members are engaging conversationalists.

Here's hoping we find each other and our Tribe.

Bon chance,

The Polar Bear