How Do I Measure Up?

A woman submitted a list of requirements for a man she would take seriously as a boyfriend, lover, husband. I decided to try her list out on me.

intelligence

I'm not showing much responding to this.

a good heart

Yeah, I have no heart condition, do not anticipate the need for bypass surgery, come from a long line of good hearted people on both sides, lol. They all say they're looking for a man with a sense of humor. Just watch....

honesty

More honest than I need to be most of the time, gets me into trouble sometimes, still too naive to know when I should have lied.

integrity

Oh yeah, I'm not falling apart on any level yet.

loyalty

To a fault when I find someone worth being loyal to.

sense of humor/silly

No, I'm more of the sarcastic, insolent kind, looking for a woman who has those characteristics too. No great fun being sarcastic and insolent by yourself.

affectionate

Very, especially tactile, give great back rubs, had that proven again last night but we wont get into that right now, lol What, you think we pianists develop all that tactility just to play Chopin?

lovable

Apparently....

down-to-earth

Oh you mean not a dreamer? Yeah I walk on the ground using both feet when I'm awake. My knuckles don't drag along in front of me either.

clean (no drugs, smoking, heavy drinkers)

Ah........no, but I'm certainly not an alcoholic.

likes kids/animals

Yes to both.

gentle but strong

Ah........yes

protective

Not overly so, no.

easygoing

Ah........yes, probably a bit TOO easy going even for my tastes.

quiet-natured, but talkative and friendly

No, probably nothing about me is quiet, but I am easy to talk with and friendly although some people have a hard time with my style of friendliness, but........the world is a big place.

modest

If you mean running around naked.....yes. Otherwise, NO!!

has things in common

Still looking for someone who grooves to Brahms' second piano concerto.

smells fresh n clean

When I'm ready......yes

unique

Oh I am UNIQUE there is no doubt about that!! In EVERY way! And believe me that's not always a virtue.

curious

TOO curious. So curious in fact that a few women in the past have been scared by how much and what I know and like talking about. I guess I am also looking for a woman who has a bit of a spy mentality.

likes to smile/laugh

I only do it when it comes naturally. Used to smile and laugh at the wrong times in the past. I've grown up a lot since then, had to deal with a lot of people who didn't have much of a sense of humor, had to get sophisticated, had to learn when it's best to be less than brutally honest.

not perverted, but on the other hand, not easily taken advantage of

This one lose a few of you? Hell no, I'm no pervert, don't go for kids or old people, don't go for S&M, anal or anything like that, don't demand some perverted sexual favor from anyone to earn my love and esteem. However just because I'm not any of these doesn't mean that I am easily taken advantage of. And maybe perverts aren't easily taken advantage of? Maybe you're right, lol.

sense of innocence, but still "informed"

Oh yeah, music for me requires a sense of innocence, I am a musician. And informed? I'm better informed, too informed, about what really matters. If you mean about current pop stars or movies, no, I'm not informed at all.

thoughtful

Or do you mean sentimental? Sentimental I'm NOT, thoughtful, in the sense of profound, deep, probing, yes I certainly am, but not everyone really wants or even likes that.

not too religious or not religious at all

A "lukewarm" religious person? Why even Jesus said he'd spit them out of his mouth. If you mean a "churchy" person, no I'm not.

open-minded

Not to the extent my brains fall out, like some, no.

has goals

Yes, lots of them. But this too is a big area for wide open discussion. My goals may not be everyone's goals.

can cry

Yeah my tear glands work just fine, cut me an onion or get soap in my eyes, I'll cry. Take me to a great performance of some classical music I have known all my life, I'll cry too, big time.

tender

Tender when it's required, hard when it counts.

gentleman

The very epitome of a gentleman.

trustworthy

If I say I'll do such and such I will. I hate breaking promises so I make very few. But if anyone tries to bend a promise to suit themselves over and above what they figured they could get away with, then no damn it, I'll break my promise every time! That's manipulation and I hate that. I'd never do that to anyone else either, ever.

a best friend

To some I have been and always will be.

boy next-door

It depends on your neighborhood.

artistic...or into music, reading, writing, drawing, comps, or anything of that nature

I am first and foremost an artist. My first success in life was as a painter. Some of my works are still hanging in some people's homes and maybe even in a few public libraries. I earned money for college painting pictures and selling them. But I turned to music because it was far more challenging.

witty

If you really like wit, yes. Some when confronted with outstanding wit find they can do without it.

warm and snuggly

Oh yes......but that's only for certain people.

encouraging/validating

VERY, in fact I can be perhaps one of the most constructive critics anyone could wish for, capable of motivating as well as directing, but again how many people really want this?

GOOD LISTENER

A VERY good listener, but those who want to be listened to usually do not like anything but sympathy in return. When I listen I catch everything that's really important and nail it down. The other person may not be happy if they are looking for sympathy. If that's all they want in return from my listening to them, then they can pay me.

OPEN

Open for business? Usually. No, I'm not very secretive at all. Am willing to be an open book to most people. I have little I consider worth hiding.

doesn't think self-help is stupid

No, I don't think self help is stupid at all. How else is anyone going to make themselves better? If you mean the "self help" industry? No, that's not stupid either. In fact some of the most successful businesses have been selling self help stuff to people for years. Has any of it helped? Yes. If any of it has helped anyone do better, feel better, BE better, DO better, then self help is manifestly NOT stupid. Do I think making self help one's life is stupid? If you are on the consuming end, yes it's stupid. If you're selling it, hell no it isn't stupid, may not be completely honest and sincere, but it's not stupid.

not possessive but not indifferent either

Being possessive is for the insecure. What happened to me is that when I met my soul mate and she really was, my late wife, whom I was married to for ten years, we discovered that we didn't need to have any of that because we KNEW we belonged together. It never even entered our minds to look elsewhere. And you can bet that neither of us was indifferent.

forgiving, but not easily manipulated

Yeah I'm forgiving, admit to being more easily manipulated than I'd like, but it's getting better.

practical

Usually.

moral in his own ways

Of course I'm moral. It's the safest position there is. All I have to do is avoid anger, pride, envy (jealousy, revenge), greed, gluttony, lust and laziness and add to those deceit and fear and I can stay moral. So can everyone, but laziness is still the hardest one to beat.

good memory or tries to remember things that are important to me and his fam/friends

Oh you mean like birthdays holidays, etc.? Yeah right, well I'm not that good at it. If you mean appointments that matter because something can be gained from keeping them, yes my memory is very sharp. Have a real good memory for things that matter to me.

good to his mother

I always hug and kiss my mother whenever I see her.

loves his family

I do.

respectful

Usually, especially if I don't know someone. Actually I guess I'm highly respectful almost......formal even in an informal way.

intellectually challenging but NOT intimidating

Yeah well it's hard for me not to be intimidating in EVERY way but especially intellectually. And I've tried so hard all my life to be average I really have, but nah! Can't do it for very long.

nature boy

Not sure but probably no, not really.

patient

Usually but not always.

firm but delicate hands

If you'r going to play serious piano pieces as I do, well you have to have hands, you know? Mine have been described as similar to Charles Rosen's.

imperfect and willing to admit when he's wrong

Oh I am not perfect otherwise I wouldn't be serving time here on good old planet earth.

willing to admit it when he's wrong

When she was wrong, I let her know in a gentle way using a quiet voice and not within earshot of half the world. Yes, I'll admit it freely when I'm wrong.

keeps his word

As I said, I don't make promises I can't keep, but the more I'm hounded the firmer my resolve not to keep my word increases until I just wont keep my word anymore.

consistent

Try to be.

comes to his friend's help

Have on many occasions.

sweet/romantic

I'd say more sensual/passionate and I hate being called "a sweet man" and I'm not. I am however a very good man and try to be always.

take charge type person (but in a gentle, non-threatening way)

A "take charge" person usually can't "take charge" without getting the attention of those who need to follow direction. It is usually not required to raise one's voice to get this sort of attention but is often most effective.

(as if it can even come CLOSE to the wonderful things mentioned already)...

long hair of any color

How long? A hippy? I'm not.

clean cut

A clean cut hippy? I shave my face.

long eyelashes

By some stroke of fortune I have those, but they'reprobably the wrong color for you and I refuse to dye them.

as tall as me or taller (but that honestly wouldn't matter most of the time)

Just curious, at what times would it matter? Oh, ok, I'm 5'10".

cute little grin

Mine's more like a smirk.

turned up nose

Yeah, afraid so. I sure would have liked a slightly larger nose. People with big noses seem to get more out of breathing.

deep eyes of any color

Yeah, ok. Sure beats shallow eyes that look like they belong on a fish I guess.

an "imperfect" way about him that makes him even more special

I guess I'd have to see it. But before any ladies out there get ANY ideas, don't try and fix me.

not willing to "give it away" until he is totally sure

Oh yeah, I can assure you that this is true and I do mean it.

P.S.

This is NOT a personal ad. I just found a list of all the things I had jotted down, one day, as my "perfect imperfect man." I'm not holding out for someone who meets all these requirements, but for the personality part, the more characteristics, the better.

Oh yeah? The first clean shaven hippy type you see you'll fall madly in love with.

These are all my turn-ons. (although I'm sure there are more.. get back to ya) But we can dream, right? <sigh>

Oh yeah honey, we sure can dream.

Thought I'd just measure myself against your yardstick, it was a scream.

What you read are strictly my beliefs based on situations I've experienced/seen friends and family experience. My intent isn't to offend or attack, but to shed some light on the other side. Besides the fact that I'm always right.

LOL, GAG, COUGH, SNEEZE, CHOKE, VOMIT, WOOPSE!! That did it! Just had an uncontrollable reaction from that last statement. Never in any of my most convinced moods have I ever thought or said that I was always right. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is for the record.

The Polar Bear