Praise the Lord
...
... for
unquestioning, unreasoning faith.
... for evil.
... for the
Crusades.
... for disease.
... for child
molesting priests.
... for the
Spanish Inquisition.
... for those
funny bishops hats.
... for the mass
murder of early Christians - by the Christian emporers of
ancient Rome.
... for creating
Satan.
... for four
conflicting versions of the resurrection.
... for the sexual
mutilation of eight day-old babies.
... for the lack
of evidence of any gods existence.
... for all the
different religions.
... for
fundamentalist bombs.
... for child
abuse.
... for the Mormon
bible.
... for condemning
homosexuals to death.
... for gay
priests.
... for
earthquakes.
... for Atheist
priests.
... for slavery.
... for Catholic
opposition to contraception.
... for all the
starving babies in the third-world.
... for
unfulfilled prophesies.
... for the Dark
Ages.
... for all the
absurdities in the Bible.
... for Jehovahs'
Witnesses.
... for condemning
masturbation.
... for making the
sun orbit the earth.
... for human
sacrifice.
... for removing
all the marsupials from the middle-east.
... for tele-evangelists.
... for unmarried
teenage pregnancy.
... for talking
serpents.
... for freezing
cold churches.
... for allowing
six millions Jews to be slaughtered in World War Two.
... for World War
Two.
... for Psalm 137.
... for Christian
Jews.
... for unanswered
prayers.
... for the four
corners of the earth.
... for a flat
earth.
... for forbidding
murder.
... for commanding
murder.
... for
Christianity.
... for
Anglicanism.
... for
Catholicism.
... for Mormonism.
... for Judaism.
... for speckled
cattle.
... for Heavens'
Gate.
... for
inconsequential miracles.
... for all those
mind-numbing sermons.
... for dinosaurs.
... for all the
evidence of life after death.
... for Hitler's
unflinching Christian faith.
... for melting
snails.
... for the fiscal
impropriety of German Christian Democrats.
... for witch
burning.
... for creating
everything - in six days.
... for the 50/50
chance of entry into heaven.
... for hardening
the Pharaohs' heart.
... for giving
Christians the ability to drink poison.
... for
Creationist pseudo science.
... for Papal
infallibility.
... for hot-cross
buns.
... for happy-clappy
music.
... for David
Koresh.
... for circular
logic.
... for the Ku
Klux Klan.
... for religious
intolerance.
... for multiple
interpretations of the Bible.
... for talking
donkeys.
... for multiple
versions of the bible.
... for the Koran.
... for Christian
Serbs
... for Muslim
Bosnians.
... for Catholic
Croats.
... for temptation.
... for childrens'
vunerability to suggestion.
... for culture
destroying missionaries.
... for Hell.
... for six
hundred thousand different species of beetles.
... for the death
toll in Northern Ireland.
... for Christian
racial segregation.
... for resistance
to scientific truth.
... for the
Reverend Jim Jones.
... for rock-hard
pews.
... for four
footed insects.
... for Christmas.
... for the
confession/absolution thing in Catholicism.
... for the
Marionite Christian snipers.
... for allowing
lying in the name of religion.
... for the
Spanish conquistadors.
... for easter
eggs.
... and praise the
Lord for all those religious nutters.