6.00 Alarm 6.15 Blow job 6.30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section 7.00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked buxom wench 7.30 Limo arrives 7.45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport 9.15 Flight in personal Lear Jet 9.30 Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club (blow job en-route) 9.45 Play front nine (2 under) 11.45 Lunch Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon 12.15 Blow job 12.30 Play back nine (4 under) 2.15 Limo back to the airport (Several Whiskeys) 2.30 Fly to Monte Carlo 3.30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew (all nude) 4.30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle 5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson 6.45 Shit, Shower and Shave 7.00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; marijuana and porn legalised 7.30 Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice cream served on a pair of tits 9.00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you watch international match of the day; England beating Germany 11-0 9.30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies) 11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ale 11.30 A night cap blowjob 11.45 In bed alone 11.50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room