I had to find out the number of characters that the screen on a mobile phone could handle, and the number of cards/bytes it could store as a reply. So I wandered through various mobile phone showrooms standing by phones, muttering about phones, measuring phones with a little ruler, and generally annoying the assistants who must have thought I was some kind of phone fetishist. Eventually they lost patience, ("Can I help you, sir?"), gave me the phone numbers of various manufacturers and wearily advised me to try them. This is what happened next…
Phoning Nokia Data Support on 01202 722011 got me Frederick (brusque) who was no help at all ("You’ll have to talk to your Wap service provider") and grumpily advised me to try the Nokia Development Forum at http://www.forum.nokia.com.
Phoning the Nokia help line on 01480 434343 was much better. After pressing "3" for non-Nokia Club members I got thru to Dawn, who chirpily reeled off the details and after ploughing thru my accent ("Wilson College? Oh, Wolfson! Right…") promised to send me the technical specs.
After a diversion with changed London area codes and Thomson travel agency, phoning Samsung on 0208 (not 0207…) 3910168 got me a message telling me to phone Hayes Technology on 01767 654302. After 5 minutes in the queue ("Tenderness" and "Nights in White Satin") I got thru to Tracey who cheerfully filled me and promised to send me the specs.
The Samsung Customer Service Desk on 01952 292262 was useless. 5 minutes waiting (synth stuff circa 1981) got me an unnamed someone who couldn’t understand why I was calling if I didn’t own a Samsung phone, and accidentally ("please hold") hung up on me.
As for 0800 0262323, nobody even answered.
Phoning Motorola Customer Services on 0500 555555 gets you a recorded message saying "Please phone 0870 9010555 or try http://www.motorola.co.uk". So I phoned the new number and pressed "1" for technical enquiries. That got me "Get here if you can", "Perfect Day", "Kiss before Dying" and harassed Sandra in a call centre in Ireland. She tried hard but didn’t have the info to hand and advised me to try Motorola Data Support on 08705 143067.
Problem is, Motorola Data Support isn’t on 08705 143067: it’s moved to 0870 0101649. Even worse, it’ll automatically transfer you back to Motorola Customer Services if all the lines are busy, so after 3 attempts all I got was a quick chat with David (apologetic), Tom (apologetic) and – yes! – Sandra (apologetic and still harassed). Go figure.
Their fax number for technical queries is 0845 7103000. I haven’t got a fax.
Dialling Ericsson on 01483 303666 got me somebody’s mailbox, and 01782 577193 is a fax number. I still haven’t got a fax.
Dialling Ericsson Customer Support 0990 237237 (now 08705 237237) and pressing "4" for Data Support got me disco, then a weird chap who asked for my name & phone number (why?) then put me on hold (chamber music), then wouldn’t answer my query because I didn’t own the phones. He did however advise me to try the website at http://www.ericsson.com/developerszone
Trying another Ericsson number on 0990 238238 got me Vicky, who was quite concerned about weird chap, and put me on hold (Bon Jovi!) while she told Data Support off. Data Support weren’t budging, so she advised me to email ericcsoncustomersupport@etl.ericsson.com
Panasonic Technical Support 01344 853506 (9-5:30, Mon-Fri) is continually engaged, but a recorded message tells you to try http://www.panasonic.co.uk
CRC on 01159 218000 (8:30-5:30, Mon-Thurs, 8:30-4:30 Fri), is also continually engaged.
Siemens Services on 08705 334411 got me Claire, who cheerfully pointed out that she dealt with sales and knew nothing about the technical details, but who promised to try to put me through to somebody who did. After 5 minutes on hold (tinny music – think Stylophone), she put me through to the switchboard (01344 396000) then unbelievably a number in Germany (0049 8963602). The Germans ("Guten Tag!") patiently advised me in English to try 0180 5333226 (0049 180 5333226?), but I didn’t think my wallet could deal with it.
Siemens Information & Communication Mobile Devices is on 01344 396000, but nobody answered.
Alcatel eBusiness Solutions on 0207 458 0026 (was 01276 675372) gets you a recorded message, the "Nutcracker Suite", music from an old Guinness ad and a Julian Clary sound-alike in a call centre in Spain. Unlike the others, Julian actually knew what "cache size" was, and gave me some relevant info.
Mitsubishi’s UK offices are on 01707 276100. They didn’t answer.
Pressing "1" on the Sony Care Line on 08705 111123 gets you yet more tinny music, but you do get a nice message telling you that the line is open 24hrs. Eventually I got through to Hailey, who advised me to try www.sonycommunications.com, www.sony-europe.com, or www.sony.com and – yes! – promised to send me the specs ("So that’s Wilson College? Oh…")