I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.

Oscar Wilde at the New York Custom House: I have nothing to declare except my genius.

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

The basis for optimism is sheer terror.

A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people and for the people.

Ah! Don't say that you agree with me. When people agree with me, I always feel that I must be wrong.

I couldn't help it. I can resist everything except temptation.

Mrs. Allonsby: They say, Lady Hunstanton, that when good Americans die they go to Paris.

Lady Hunstanton: Indeed? And when bad Americans die, where do they go to?
Lord Ilingworth: Oh! They go to America.

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.