PASTORS: DON'T SUCCUMB TO SEXUAL MISCONDUCT
The headlines regarding sexual scandal in the church are all too
familiar. It is the church's responsibility to help in
establishing a healthy environment for successful ministry. It
can set high standards for its clergy, it can pray for their
sexual purity, and its seminaries can teach the warning signs.
But it is up to the pastor to avoid sexual sin. The pastor must
take active personal responsibility for his/her life and
decisions.
- Surveys of ministers reveal the existence of a growing moral
breakdown in pastors' lives. Almost one in four pastors
answered yes to the question, "Since you've been in local
church ministry, have you ever done anything with someone
(not your spouse) that you feel was sexually inappropriate?"
One in five pastors confessed to sexual misconduct of some
kind, with one in eight admitting adultery, and only 4 in 100
were found out by their local church. (1988 survey in
Leadership magazine).
To avoid succumbing to the temptation of adultery, each pastor
must develop a thorough on-going, comprehensive plan for his/her
protection.
- Understand sexual temptation. Sexual feelings are common to
every man and woman. Pastors must anticipate and prevent
sexual temptations. (It is also possible to be involved in a
sexual relationship without touching or entering into an
obviously illicit relationship.) While traveling, stay away
from hotel cable movies and bring with you healthy reading
material. In counseling, realize how easily emotional bonding
can occur. The jump from a warm relationship to one with
sexual overtone can be subtle.
- Understand the power of the seduction. The person - man or
woman - who acts provocatively must be resisted without
hesitation. Be careful of the flirtatious look; be alert to
excessive praise, and be on guard for those who want repeated
counseling.
- Guard your mind. Pastors need to aggressively resist sexual
fantasies in order to remain pure. (The Leadership survey
found that 39% of responding pastors regarded sexual
fantasies as harmless. Such fantasies may be one of the
principal doorways to overt sexual sin.) Stay away from
explicitly erotic material, as well as television programs,
and images that fuel the fires of lust. Mediate daily on
Philippians 4:8 and take the advice offered there.
- Make sure your marriage is healthy. Without a doubt, being
in love with your mate provides the best defense against a
sexual affair. If your marriage is not satisfying, find those
opportunities and qualities that provide an atmosphere of
hope.
- Take precautions. Be extremely careful where, when, and how
you see members of the opposite sex in your ministry
routines. Avoid any long-term counseling. Consider counseling
in your home with your spouse nearby. Be careful in dealing
with young adults. Discretion is needed for each situation,
as well as in dealings with other staff members -
particularly crucial in light of the high incidence of
pastoral adultery with a member of the church staff. If
difficult situations arise in the normal routines of
ministry, immediately inform your spouse and one or two
fellow leaders in the church.
- Maintain relationships where accountability is real. Every
pastor needs several relationships where he/she is mutually
accountable for actions and relationships with others.
- Cultivate your spiritual, emotional, and physical
well-being. Pastors are so busy preparing, teaching, and
preaching that they may neglect to care for their own souls.
Expand and develop your prayer life, the reading of the Word,
and personal devotions.
- Plan how you will handle sexual temptation. Don't leave it
up to chance. Develop a list of the specific consequences of
sexual adultery. What will this sin mean for your wife? -
your family? - your congregation? - your closest friends? -
your future ministry?
John H. Armstrong is director of Reformation and
Revival Ministries, Inc., and editor of Reformation
and Revival Journal. A pastor for more than 20 years,
he serves as an itinerant minister based in Carol
Stream, Ill. He is editor of the book Roman
Catholicism and holds an M.A. from Wheaton Graduate
School and the D.Min. from Luther Rice Seminary.
From Can Fallen Pastors Be Restored? by John H.
Armstrong, copyright (c) 1995. Used by permisison of
Moody Press, Chicago, Ill., 1-800-678-6928.