DISCIPLESHIP
Put theory into practice
We've all been convinced of the need for discipleship (or
mentoring) as a way to sharing your faith with a younger,
less-experienced Christian. Don't let the logistics of helping
and sharing with another person stop the process.
Consider these steps:
- Make sure you are up to the task. You will be helping to
shape a life. Get your own spiritual life in order. Sharpen
your listening skills.
- Protect yourself. Remember: helping another person should not
- and cannot - come at the expense of your own spiritual
life. Don't expend yourself in the lives of others so much
that you crowd out your own prayer life and Bible study.
- Explore the relationship. Take one or two meetings to get to
know each other. You will need to determine areas of strength
or weakness, their level of spirituality. Ask lots of
questions. Why did they come to you? What are their spiritual
goals? Make it clear that you see spiritual mentoring as
helping someone grow in their relationship with God, not just
counseling, teaching, hearing confessing, or providing crisis
intervention.
- This is not about friendship. Friendship is not a
prerequisite, nor an outcome. It may be something that you
already have, or may possibly develop into, but friendship is
not a specific goal of discipleship.
- Draw the line when necessary. Be clear that spiritual help is
no substitute for in-depth counseling (although it can be a
complement). If you feel like you're "in over your head,"
don't hesitate to refer your friend to a clergyperson or help
find a counselor.
- Meet without distractions. Find a place for the two of you to
meet where you will not be disturbed with phone calls or
other interruptions. Avoid a noisy, public place such as a
crowded restaurant.
- Begin with prayer. Not only is God's guidance indispensable
to the enterprise, but praying with your partner can provide
valuable focusing as you both begin.
- Have a specified time of meeting. An hour is probably enough.
Anything over that, and the conversation tends to become
repetitive and trivialized.
- Be alert to the feelings beneath the spoken words. Learn to
read the soul of the other and listen with "love's third
ear." Raise questions about the spiritual dimensions of what
may seem like mundane concerns. Be aware that many people
don't share their deep thoughts on issues right away.
- Encourage participation in church activities. Spiritual
mentoring is no substitute for the regular nurture and
challenge that comes from a body of believers. Your
involvement will be much more fruitful if your partner's
needs for fellowship, worship, and instruction are being
appropriately met through a congregation.
- Suggest resources. Develop a reading list, consisting of
devotionals, and study tools. Suggest the use of a journal as
they explore aspects of the faith.
From Finding a Spiritual Friend by Timothy Jones,
copyright (c) 1998. Used by permission of Upper Room,
Nashville, Tenn., 1-800-972-0433.