MAKE SINGLES FEEL SPECIAL AT CHURCH
We are no longer predominantly a society of nuclear families. By
the year 2000, 52% of the population of the United States over
the age of 25 will be single. The implications of this statistic
within the church are enormous. Often the issues of "singleness"
are not addressed by the church because it sees its role solely
as a model of marriage and family.
What singles want from their church:
- Staffing with appreciation of the single lifestyle. Ideally,
the person leading the singles ministry would have been
single for at least five years. Without this experience, it
is hard to connect with the feelings, hear the hidden
messages, or feel certain emotions. Specialization in grief
recovery, divorce recovery, and life transitions is helpful.
- Informed awareness of the issues and an ongoing intention of
including singles in all aspects of parish life.
Congregations need to get beyond the stereotypical thinking
about singles, divorced, widowed, married, and couples; and
look at all people as God's creation.
- Shared singles programs across denominational lines. This is
essential to smaller churches. Singles want to network with
others who understand the basic needs of singleness and learn
from each other how to cope.
- Leadership of denominations to study singles issues and
develop policy and programming to meet their needs.
Seminaries must offer singles' ministry training so that
clergy can be informed of and educated in issues of
singleness and prepared to develop appropriate attitudes as
well as programs in their parishes - regardless of the parish
size.
- Understanding that every single's primary need is for
personal wholeness and spirituality. Overloading on social
outings does not fulfill the primary need. Bible study and a
chance to share dreams, needs, joys, and sorrows are what is
sought by singles.
- To include them as part of a larger family. God's family is
not, nor has it ever been, a nuclear family (mother, father,
2.2 children). The members of Christ's family are many and
diverse. Yet singles often are discriminated against,
especially when churches sponsor "family dinners."
Reprinted from Single In the Church: New ways to
minister with 52% of God's people by Kate
Collier-Stone (AL137) with permission from the Alban
Institute, Inc., 7315 Wisconsin Ave., Suite 1250W,
Bethesda, Maryland 20814-3211. Copyright (c) 1992.
All rights reserved.