We are proud to announce a list of winners of some of our most sought-after awards.
Our most sought-after awards ever: THE HUBCAPS!!! these are given to the people we feel have displayed stupidity, bad taste, or bad judgment, above and beyone the call of duty. The Gold Hubcap is hereby respectfully awarded to Bill Clinton, George Bush, Jr., Senator Murkowski (for his comments about the piece in the Los Angeles Times on more power plants for California), Senator Trent Lott, Hilary Clinton, and Hieronymous Swithins. We will be awarding the silver and chrome at a later date, so keep checking back.
THE INCREDIBLE OEDIPAL AWARD!!!
This most highly prized and sought-after award goes to none other than Rod MacCaleb!
Congratulations Rod! P.S. I think your mom is calling again.
SECOND PLACE!!! THE OVER-DEVELOPED EGO AWARD!!! A SEVEN-WAY TIE. The lucky winners are: Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, V. Pann, George Bush Jr., Helen Chenoweth, George Nethercutt, Trent Lott.
THIRD PLACE! THE SPECIAL SKINNER LUNCH-BOX AWARD! This enviable award goes to all of the members of Congress. Proof that behavior is learned and maintained through reinforcement, these folks make a career of appearing to be very busy while accomplishing very little.
FOURTH PLACE! THE "SOYLENT GREEN SPECIAL"!!! Nobody really wants this one yet, but some wonderful folks got it anyway: The good people who brought you Dolly the cloned sheep, and the genetic engineers who "grow" fruits and vegetables. Watch out when you eat these things; remember what Soylent Green was made from.
THE LOUSY LANDLORD AWARD!!!
I am sure we all know someone who deserves this, but this one goes to you, I. Calabrese, for owning and failing to adequately maintain a dwelling that can probably only be used as a tax write-off. That is, unless mildew has recently become a new form of insulation.
This lovely BUTTon Award goes to the lawyers, judges, Florida's Secretary of State (possibly a guy in drag); but most of all to George Bush Jr. and Al Gore, for childish behavior and stupidity above and beyond the call of decency...
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